Origins
by ArandoraStar
Summary: "The first time I used magic, I was seven years old and I saved a life." Newt Styles has always known she was different. It's discovering just how different that is causing her problems. The first in the Newt Styles trilogy. Hogwarts years 1-7. Eventual JSP/OC.
1. Chapter 1

_This is the first part of a three part series telling the story of Newt Styles as she navigates the magical community and attempts to overcome the obstacles in her way. This part of the series will have seven chapters, each representing a year at Hogwarts. I'm putting this a little bit prematurely. I just wanted to test the waters and see what people think of it. I'm wrapping up the seventh chapter of this part now and have already outlined the other two parts to this series. This should fly by pretty quickly. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions! I'll post the second chapter next weekend._

* * *

Chapter One: First Year

The first time I used magic I was seven years old and I saved a life. My sister's life. I remember my mother and step-father sitting my brother, Rance, and I down and explaining to us that the baby that had been growing in Mommy's tummy wasn't coming anymore; that God had decided she would live a better life in Heaven. I had wanted a sister desperately. I had told my mom that she was going to have a girl the first day she told Rance and I that she and Joshua, my step-father, were going to have a baby. She had laughed then. Even when she told me the baby wasn't coming anymore, they didn't know the sex. I did, though. I knew from the moment I first touched my mother's tummy when Asha was still inside it.

When they told me that the baby wasn't coming any more, I was devastated. Rance didn't seem to mind all that much. He was thirteen then. He was mostly sad at how distraught I was at the time.

"It's going to be alright, Newtie," he said to me. "You've still got me."

But I wanted a sister too. So I hopped off of the kitchen counter where I had been sitting when Mom and Joshua told us the news and marched over to my mother, placing my hands on her stomach, wishing with everything in me that the baby would live and that I would get a sister. Nothing happened at first. Everyone watched me sadly, allowing me my time to mourn. My mother gathered me in her arms and cried. I didn't though. I told her she was going to have the baby. I knew she didn't believe me, but then she jerked away from me and started gasping. She was in pain.

Joshua ended up taking her to the hospital. They were gone all night. I was asleep when they got home, but I could hear them from my room as they spoke to Joshua in the living room. They didn't know how to explain it, but the baby was alive, even though the doctors had told mom a few days before that she had miscarried.

I knew though. I had felt the tingle under my skin. I had felt the rush of something flowing through my blood when I had touched my mother's stomach. It's the same feeling I get today. It was magic. I had somehow managed to bring my sister back to life. I didn't know it was unusual then, but I do now.

My mom and step-father didn't know it was magic then, but my brother did. My mother thought it was a miracle, but Rance knew better. He started watching me carefully, trying to see when I would use it again. It wasn't too much later that things started happening around me. A kitten stuck in a tree would somehow appear on the ground. A rainy day would suddenly become sunny so we could go to the park as we had originally planned. Mom and Joshua would grow unexplainably happy in the middle of a fight and stop shouting. My room would clean itself.

I realized I could make things happen when I wanted and I took advantage of it. Rance came to me one day to ask me about it. I told him that I could do lots of things, just like him. Only I didn't need a wand. He had seemed worried and told me I needed to be careful about it. He said muggles, like our mom and step-father, weren't supposed to see magic. So I stopped doing it all the time, at least where others could see me.

When I was eleven, the Headmistress of Hogwarts and the Minister of Magic visited Rance and me at home the summer before his sixth year at Hogwarts. They came to see me, specifically. They congratulated me on getting into Hogwarts and wanted to see some of the magic I could do. I was excited to show it to people, since I had been hiding it for years after Rance told me to. I was especially excited since I didn't have to hide it from my mother anymore. She, Rance, and I were sitting on the living room couch across from Professor McGonagall and Mr. Kingsley one afternoon in June.

"Is Journey like Rance?" my mother asked the wizened witch in front of her.

I scowled at the use of my first name.

"Yes, Ms. Styles," Professor McGonagall began.

"It's Richards now," my mother corrected. "But call me Lila."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Richards. Your daughter possesses magical capabilities like your son."

My mother frowned. It wasn't that she didn't like magic. It was that she didn't like being separated, in a sense, from her own children. She didn't like the magic making us different from her, and she didn't like us having to go to a boarding school where we were away from her for most of the year. At least, that's what I always assumed.

"I've never seen her perform magic though. With Rance it was very obvious."

Professor McGonagall turned her gaze to me. I was fascinated with both her and Mr. Kingsley at the time. They were wearing robes and looked very odd. Magic was very alluring to me, and just knowing that they could use it as well made me curious about them.

"She's magical, Mum," Rance interjected. "I've seen her use it."

My mother looked surprised before turning to me. "Is this true, Journey? Can you use magic?"

I grinned widely and nodded my head vigorously. "I use it all the time."

Her brow furrowed and she looked back to Professor McGonagall. She looked like she was about to say something when a happy girlish squeal drew our attention to the living room entrance.

A small girl with blonde pigtails and a red dress came running into the room. She leaped into my mom's lap.

"Mummy!" she shouted, clinging to my mother's neck.

"Hey Sweet Pea," my mom started, with a smile.

My sister was a bright, happy girl that could make even the grumpiest of people happy. I glanced over at the witch and wizard in front of us and saw small smiles on each of their faces.

"Asha, Mummy is talking about grownup stuff right now. Why don't you go find Daddy and see if he'll take you to the park?"

Asha pouted before looking over at the strangely dressed people sitting across from us. Her grin returned.

"Are you talking about magic, Mummy?" she asked.

My mom looked surprised, as did McGonagall and Kingsley.

"How do you know about magic, Asha?" my mom asked.

Asha looked over at me with a wide grin. "Newtie shows me her magic all the time!"

A guilty blush crawled across my face as all of the adults and Rance turned to me.

"She gives me chocolates," Asha continued. "Show them, Newtie! Show them how you make chocolate with your hands."

I looked shyly over at Professor McGonagall and Mr. Kingsley, who were watching me with strange looks on their faces.

"Go on, Journey," my mother said softly. "Show us your magic."

I caught eyes with Rance, who nodded slightly. I breathed in deeply and released it, letting my excitement wash over me in place of my guilt for doing something I wasn't supposed to.

I held my left hand palm's up and put my pointer finger from my right hand in the center of my palm. I closed my palm over my finger before removing it and tightening my hand into a fist. I held my fist out to my sister and she grinned toothily, grabbing it and placing a kiss on the top of my hand, as was our ritual. I turned my fist over and opened it, revealing a small chocolate kiss in the center of my palm. Asha squealed happily before grabbing the chocolate morsel and popping it in her mouth.

I looked over to the strangers in front of us who were watching me with indiscernible expressions. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rance watching me with a confused look.

"What other types of magic can you perform, Ms. Styles?" Mr. Kingsley asked.

I shrugged. "Anything I want, really."

"Can you levitate this cup?" Professor McGonagall asked.

I glanced at the mug in front of her and, with a tingle across my skin, the cup rose into the air. Asha squealed again and clapped.

"Again, Newtie! Do it again!"

"I think that is enough for one day, Ms. Styles," Professor McGonagall interjected. "As your son is already a student at Hogwarts, I doubt instructions are needed for the preparation of your daughter's attendance, Mrs. Richards. Mr. Styles will be able to assist Ms. Styles with all necessary steps."

She sent Rance a critical look, which he returned with a grin. "I'll help her, Professor."

"Very good. I look forward to seeing you at Hogwarts, Ms. Styles," Professor McGonagall said, looking at me over the spectacles on her face.

I nodded and smiled at her.

"May we speak with you in private, Mrs. Richards?" Mr. Kingsley asked.

My mom nodded before ushering my siblings and I out the door.

I received my Hogwarts letter the next week. I was thrilled at the thought of shopping in Diagon Alley, just as my brother had been doing every year since his first year. He took me a few days later.

"Should I get an owl, a cat, or a toad?" I asked him as we walked down the streets of Diagon Alley, our arms full of boxes from purchasing all of my school supplies.

"Well, I've got an owl that you can use, but I'm only going to be at Hogwarts another year after this one. You could use one of the school owls, but they're very slow, and bloody dimwitted. Most of the times your letters won't arrive where they're supposed to."

I giggled at his curse and entered the pet store with Rance.

"Welcome to Eeylops! What can I help you with today, young miss?" an older gentleman asked me with a kind smile.

"I'm looking for an owl," I said.

"What kind of owl?" he asked.

I shrugged. "One that will carry letters."

Rance clapped me on the shoulder as he and the older man laughed.

"Well then, I believe you've come to the right place. We've got a great selection of breeds. Why don't you take a look around and see if any of them strike your fancy, eh?"

I nodded and moved around the shop, trying not to make a face at the smell. There were owls perched on stands and shelves all over the store. Some would fly away as I approached them and others would hoot unhappily at me. As I moved past one empty stand, a fluttering from behind me caught my attention just before something collided with my head. I righted myself and became aware that there was something sitting on my head just before my vision was blocked by two huge black eyes.

The owl had a heart shaped silver face outlined in dark brown. He was a bit smaller than a lot of the owls I had seen, which was probably why his weight didn't bother me so much as he was perched on my head. He had somehow managed to bend forward so that he could look at me upside down from where he was sitting on my head. His comically large black eyes observed me for several long seconds before he let out a loud, high pitched whistle.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at the funny little bird. I turned on my foot and marched back to the front of the store, where my brother was purchasing some owl treats for his own owl, Artemis. Both he and the old shop owner noticed me approaching them with the small owl perched on my head and started laughing.

"That's a funny hat you've got there, Newtie. I thought you were supposed to be looking for an owl," Rance teased.

The bird on my head hooted indignantly, causing another round of laughter to emit from my brother.

"Very funny, Rance," I replied, glaring at him. I turned to the shop owner. "I'd like to purchase him."

The older gentleman smiled kindly at me. "That there is Chewy. He's a young Sooty owl."

"Why's his name Chewy?" I asked.

"He likes to chew things. Really strange for an owl. Well, he really doesn't act like an owl at all."

"Well, I like him. I'd like to buy him and some treats please," I said, pulling out some coins from my pocket.

"As you wish, little lady," the shop owner said, taking my money and handing me a bag of owl treats.

I felt Chewy open his wings atop my head just moments before he fluttered to the ground to stand next to me. He looked up at me expectantly. I pulled a treat from the bag and handed it to him. He took the treat from my hand and started to gnaw on it. I looked over to the shop owner and he shook his head.

"Very strange, that one."

"Alright, Newtie. You've bought your mad owl. Now we need to get you a wand," Rance said, grabbing my things and nodding his goodbyes to the shop owner.

I quickly ushered Chewy into his cage. He continued to gnaw on the treat as we moved down the street towards Olivanders.

"You go on in there and get your wand, Newtie. I've got to grab a few things at the Quidditch shop. I'll be back in a few," Rance told me before moving on down the street.

I opened the black door with gold writing across the front window and walked into the shop. There were long rectangular boxes lining every wall and corner of the small shop. A bell dinged as the door closed behind me and a very old wizard poked his head over the railing from his second floor balcony. He looked down at me over his spectacles with a knowing smile. I set Chewy down on a chair by the door.

"Ms. Styles, I have anxiously awaited your arrival," he said in an aged voice. He disappeared for a few moments before walking out of a door beside the counter.

"Hmm," he said looking around the wand shop. "I wonder…"

Just as he began to move towards the other side of the shop, a racket from a dark corner of the shop caught both of our attentions. Chewy hooted in surprise as Mr. Ollivander and I both turned towards the noise. There was a dim light shining from the highest corner shelf along the left wall behind the counter.

Mr. Ollivander gave me a curious look before making his way over to the shelf. He had to grab a ladder to climb to reach the cause of the knocking noise and light. I watched him as he moved aside a few boxes. As soon as one of the boxes was removed from it's place, the light became brighter and there was a flash of movement that startled the old man. I noticed something flying towards me just in time for me to raise my hand and catch it.

It was one of the rectangular boxes. I looked back over to Mr. Ollivander, who was watching me with a slightly surprised expression. I watched him as he climbed down the ladder and made his way over to me. He looked from the box in my hand to me.

"Well, go on then. Open it," he said, looking back to the box in my hand.

I lifted the lid off of the box and looked at the wand nestled inside of it. It was shorter than Rance's wand and much lighter in color. It was a pale brown color from the tip until about half way down, where it darkened into an almost black, burnt looking color. The handle of the wand seemed to bulge out slightly into a slightly triangular shape, reminiscent somewhat of a flower bud. It was beautiful, in a dark way.

I looked up at Mr. Ollivander, who was watching me with a small knowing smile.

"I've had this wand for many, many years now. It was one of my first creations," he said, gently taking the wand from the box in my hand to observe it. He held it in his hands almost reverently.

"Wandlore is a very intricate field," he continued. "Not all trees can bear wands. They must have magic in them." He turned his gaze back to me.

"The tree from which this wand came was the sole remaining alder in a magical forest that had been destroyed by dark wizards. They burned all the magical trees searching for an enemy. When I happened upon it, standing alone amongst the ashes of its brothers, I was stunned at how it clung to life. I could feel the magic thrumming from it across the air. I wasn't going to take from the tree, but it seemed to call to me when I turned away from it. I only took the smallest burnt branch from the tree and from it made three wands, each with a different core: dragon heartstring, unicorn hair, and phoenix feather."

He turned the wand over in his hand. "This wand is 10 inches in length and possesses the phoenix feather core."

"Mr. Ollivander, who do the other two wands belong to?" I asked

"One of them chose your own brother five years ago, Ms. Styles," he answered.

I felt a smile creep across my face as I looked back up at the old wandmaker.

"And the other has yet to choose."

He held the wand out towards me gently. I took hold of the handle and a warm, tingling sensation spread from my hand and then throughout my body. I looked up at Mr. Ollivander to see a knowing smile.

"This wand, Ms. Styles, is very powerful. I do say, that it has chosen an equally powerful partner," he said.

"Chosen, sir?" I asked.

"The wand chooses the witch or wizard, Ms. Styles."

I smiled up at him before following him to the counter to pay.

"Thank you very much, Mr. Ollivander," I said before I left the shop. I felt his aged eyes following me as I exited.

* * *

"Platform 9 ¾," I read aloud off of my ticket. "Is there really such a thing, Rance?" I asked, looking up to my brother who was walking along beside me, pushing the cart with both of our things.

He chuckled. "Of course there is, Newtie. Remember, you're magical now. There's a whole other world besides what you've been living in that won't really make sense at first."

"I don't think I'll be too surprised," I said. "I've already read all of my textbooks and some books on Hogwarts and that game witches and wizards play; Quidditch or whatever."

Rance chuckled again, shaking his head. "Of course you have. I'd put money on you being in Ravenclaw."

"Wouldn't you rather me in Slytherin with you, Rance?" I asked.

"As long as you aren't sorted into Gryffindor, I don't think I'd rather mind where the Hat puts you."

I made a face at him. "I don't think Gryffindor sounded all that bad."

Rance looked down at me. "It's not bad. But there are a lot of overly confident and annoying individuals in that house. I wouldn't want them spoiling my humble little sister, now would I?"

I grinned and nudged Rance with my shoulder. "Stop teasing, Rance."

We came upon an arch between platforms 9 and 10 when Rance slowed to a stop. I looked at the wall on platform 9 searchingly, recalling what I had read in _Hogwarts A History._

"Aren't we supposed to go through there?" I asked.

"Yes ma'am. We run through it," Rance said.

I felt myself starting to get nervous but shook it off. I was a witch now. I didn't need to be afraid of magic.

"Alright then," I said before taking off at a run straight towards the brick wall in front of me. Just when I should have crashed into it, I felt the oddest sensation. I saw myself passing through the wall when there was suddenly an entirely new platform in front of me with a very long red train. I stared in awe across the platform as parents and their children ran around pushing their own carts. The sign for Platform 9 ¾ gleamed above me.

"Very good, Newtie," I heard Rance say from behind me. "You weren't frightened at all, were you?"

I turned to him with a grin and shook my head. "I trust you, Rance."

He reached over and ruffled my hair, shooting me his quirky grin. "I'll never lead you astray, little sister."

I smiled widely at the handsome blonde boy and turned back to the train.

"Follow me," he said, leading me towards what looked liked a loading station. "We leave ours cart here and the workers over there load our belongings onto the train. They unload them and send them to your dormitories once we reach the castle."

I nodded and followed him onto the train. The aisles of the train were crowded with students rushing about and excitedly talking with one another. Lots of people greeted Rance and he returned the gestures with a big smile. After a few moments, we came upon an empty compartment. Rance opened the door and gestured for me to go inside. He shut the door behind us.

"Now, here are your school robes," he said, handing me a hanging clothes bag.

I took the bag from him and set it on one of the seats.

"You have to change into them before we reach the castle. You can relax for now."

I plopped down on the seat beside my robes. Rance remained standing.

"You're not staying?" I asked with a slight note of anxiety.

Rance shook his head. "I'm a Prefect. I have to ride at the front of the train with the other prefects."

I nodded in understanding, watching him as he moved towards the door.

"If I don't see you after the start of term feast, I'll see you tomorrow morning at breakfast. Don't be nervous, Newtie. You belong here," he said comfortingly, before wishing me well and leaving me on my own.

I wasn't alone for long. A knock on the door had me turning my gaze from out the window as the train was pulling away to the door of my compartment, where a nervous strawberry blonde haired girl was looking in on me. I gestured for her to come in.

"Do you mind if we sit with you?' she asked in a quiet voice. "Everywhere else is full."

I nodded with a small smile. The girl returned the smile and looked behind her, gesturing for whoever was behind her to come in. When she said 'we,' I had been expecting maybe one other person. Not the crowd that followed her in. Three girls and four boys piled into the room, each fighting to cram into one of the available seats. Two of the boys, twins from the looks of it, ended up having to sit on the ground. I found myself squished up against the window with a blonde girl sat beside me, my nerves tap dancing along my spine.

The strawberry blonde ended up sitting across from me.

"My name is Dominique," she said, holding out her hand. "Dominique Weasley. And all these tossers are, unfortunately, my family. Or part of an extended one."

"Hey!" one of the boys called out indignantly.

I took Dominique's hand, with a small grin. "Newt Styles."

"What kind of a name is Newt?" another boy scoffed. He had dark hair with an almost reddish hint to it and auburn colored eyes.

"Hey! Our great, great, great grandfather's name was Newt," one of the boys sitting on the floor said.

"Yeah, but he was a boy. She's a girl. Newt isn't a girl name," the boy continued.

I glared heatedly at him. "Well, it's my name and I'm a girl. If you've a problem with it, you're welcome to leave."

"Don't be so mean, James," Dominique said, before turning to me. "Don't listen to him. He's not used to being around girls."

"That's not true," James said heatedly. "I'm around girls all the time."

"Yeah. And you're related to all of them," the other boy on the floor said, earning a high five from his twin brother.

James glared at the twins before huffing and leaning back in his seat. The red headed girl sitting next to Dominique chuckled before turning back to me.

"I'm Molly Weasley," she introduced with a small wave.

"Alice," the girl next to me said. "I'm Alice Longbottom."

The introduction filed down the line. Fred and Roxanne Weasley were the darker skinned twins with matching light hazel eyes sat on the same bench as Alice and me. The twins on the floor were Lorcan and Lysander Scamander. And the sassy dark haired boy pouting on the opposite bench was James Potter. When he mentioned his last name, I vaguely remembered reading something about a Harry Potter in one of my books on the magical community. I had yet to finish it, so I couldn't be sure.

"So, Newt, are you a first year?" Molly asked.

I nodded. "And you all?"

Everyone nodded, all watching me curiously.

"I have a sister that's in her sixth year," Dominique said.

"My brother is in his sixth also."

"What's his name?" she asked.

"Rance."

"Hmm, haven't heard of him. What house is he in?"

"Slytherin," I replied nonchalantly.

The compartment grew silent. I looked around at all of the different expressions on people's faces.

"Is that not good?" I asked after a few moments.

I received some strange looks from my companions.

"Don't you know anything about the houses at Hogwarts?" James asked.

"Only from what I've read about in books," I replied. "Rance never spoke much of the houses, only that he didn't want me to get sorted in Gryffindor."

There were several scoffs and humorless laughs.

"Of course he wouldn't," James continued. "He's a snake."

I glared at him. "That's rude."

"It's true."

"How do you know you won't be sorted into Slytherin?"

"Because that's where all the bad people go and I'm not bad."

"I don't know. From what I've seen, you aren't at all good."

We glared at each other for several long minutes before the silence was broken.

"So, are you muggleborn, Newt?" Molly asked.

I looked over at her questioningly.

"I mean, just that, you don't seem to know much about houses so I assumed that meant you were muggleborn."

I had to think briefly about what 'muggleborn' meant before answering her.

"My mother is a muggle, but my father was a wizard, or so my brother says. I never met him," I finally respond.

Everyone seemed mildly surprised.

"Did he die?" Lorcan, or Lysander (I couldn't really tell), asked me.

I shrugged. "He left when I was little."

I saw some pitying looks but ignored them.

"Mum must have known about magic, though. Because she wasn't too surprised about Rance when he started using it."

The rest of the train ride was spent with everyone engaging in random conversations. Sometimes, I'd keep quiet, but most of the time Dominique, Molly, or Alice were trying to draw me into conversation with them. It was nice to be surrounded by people.

Eventually, we all had to separate to put on our school robes. Fred, at one point, tried to show us a magic spell that he had heard his father use. He ended up causing a small explosion that burnt half of his robes and his eyebrows off. Everyone had laughed at his expense, but Fred was distraught over having to be sorted in his condition. Though they all tried, no one in the cabin could repair the damage.

"You're just going to have to go to the nurse when we get to the school to have them fixed," Molly had ended up saying after failing to return Fred's eyebrows.

"But what about my robes? My spare is in my trunk! I can't walk into the Great Hall looking like this! I'll be the laughing stock."

"You're already the laughing stock as is, Fred. Thought you'd be used to it by now," James said with a smirk.

Fred swiped at him but missed, causing the compartment to burst into another round of laughter. Though he was putting up a good front, I could tell that Fred was actually really embarrassed. So, I took out my wand and stood up, navigating through everyone's legs to reach him.

Before anyone could comment, I held up my wand and pointed at his eyebrows and muttered the spell. His eyebrows grew back immediately. I then turned my wand to his robes and muttered 'reparo,' causing them to stitch themselves back together.

"There," I said when I was finished. "Brand new."

I moved back to my seat at the window and plopped back down. I looked around the compartment at all the astonished faces watching me.

"What?"

"You just did magic," Dominique said.

I sent her an incredulous look. "Yeah. Isn't that why we're all here?"

"Well, yeah. We're all here to learn magic. But you already know it."

I shrugged. "I read my school books over the summer."

There was silence for a moment before the entire compartment filled with laughter.

"Oh my Merlin," Molly said through her laughter. "You are definitely going to be sorted into Ravenclaw."

I grinned at my amused companions before turning my gaze back out the window and watching the scenery fly by.

"Firs' years this way! Firs' years over here!" I heard a loud voice bellow.

I followed the sound with my eyes and noticed a giant of a man moving his way through the bustling students around the station.

"That's Hagrid," Dominique explained beside me. "He's the grounds keeper and Professor of Care of Magical Creatures. He comes for Christmas every year."

"Why hello there, Ms. Dominique. Doin' well?" Hagrid asked as he came upon Dominique and I.

She grinned up at him. "Doing great, Hagrid. And yourself?"

"Good as always. Who's yer friend?"

"I'm Newt Styles," I said with a smile.

Hagrid beamed down at me. "Well, it's'a pleasure ta meet ya Miss Styles. If you all will follow me."

We followed him away from the train station and towards what looked like a giant lake.

"All firs' years ride to the castle in boats across the lake. It's sort of a right of passage, if ya will," Hagrid announced just as a fleet of small wooden boats drifted up to shore. Hagrid climbed into one of the boats, filling it up entirely by himself.

Dominique and I climbed into on of the boats as our fellow first years clambered into others around us. Alice and Molly climbed into the boat with us after several moments. As soon as everyone was done filing in, the boats started moving of their own accord across the lake. When the castle came into view, it was one of the most spectacular things I had ever seen. I gaped up at the glowing towers and shining stone in awe. Magic seemed to pour off of the structure in waves that I could practically feel under my skin. I could imagine my own magic responding in kind, radiating out from my fingers to dance with the old magic in the air.

I grinned over my shoulder at the three girls behind me gawking at the structure.

"It's very pretty, isn't it?" Alice breathed in awe.

I was just about to respond when something rammed into my back and I felt myself tipping over the side of the boat and being engulfed in cold. It took a few seconds to realize I was in the water. I was filled with momentary panic before calming myself and clawing my way to the surface. I was greeted with screeching and laughter when I finally breeched the water.

"_JAMES SIRIUS POTTER! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" _I recognized Dominique's voice shouting in a pitch I wasn't too sure was entirely human.

I pushed my dark hair out of my eyes and saw James and two other boys I didn't know laughing raucously in a boat right next to the one I had previously been in. Fred was seated in the boat with them as well, but he didn't look as amused as the other boys. He was watching me nervously.

"All right there, Newt?" he called out to me, causing everyone seated in the boats around us to look over at me.

I could feel myself glowing in embarrassment and could practically feel the heat of my anger bubbling just underneath my skin. I was about to retort something awful, possibly shout at James for being a toerag, but the gleeful look on the dark headed boys face made me pause. He wanted me to get angry. He wanted me to cause a scene. And if there was one thing I had always been good at doing, it was not doing what people wanted me to do.

So, instead of glaring angrily at the laughing boys, I grinned.

"Never been better, Fred," I replied, tipping myself backwards and diving down a few feet. I pulled myself back up to the surface and blew my hair out of my eyes. James and his friends were watching me with surprised looks.

"In fact, I think you should all feel the water for yourselves," I continued, floating onto my back. When no one responded, I tilted myself back up and looked at them all with a challenging gleam in my eye. "What? You aren't _scared_ are you?"

That seemed to do the trick. James's eyes darkened and narrowed and suddenly he was leaping over the side of his own boat with a warrior cry and cannonballing into the water right beside me. He surfaced a moment later with a shout and I couldn't help myself from laughing and splashing him in the face. Then, it was as if everyone who had been watching were suddenly unfrozen. I heard cries all around as other first years started jumping into the cold waters of the lake, laughing and screeching at the cold water.

"What is going on here?!" Hagrid shouted from his boat.

We all looked over at him guiltily, but nothing could really erase the smiles from our faces. I looked around and noticed nearly everyone had jumped into the lake. Only a few were still sitting in their boats, either too afraid or too stuck up. Alice was one of those still remaining in the boat, a nervous look decorating her face.

"Back in the boats with the lot of ya! I've never seen such madness!" Hagrid cried, though there was a twinkle in his eye that said he thought the entire situation was rather hilarious.

I turned away from Hagrid's booming voice and caught James's eye as he was wading water next to me. I shot his smug smile a quick glare before swimming towards my boat and climbing back into it. Molly had already climbed back in and she and Alice reached out to help me.

"That was brilliant, Newt. Absolutely brilliant," Dominique gushed as she grabbed hold of the side of the boat and pulled herself back into it.

I returned her smile and watched out of the corner of my eye as James helped pull Fred back into their own boat. We caught eyes again and he smiled brightly at me. My lips quirked in response, but I turned my head away quickly.

The Great Hall burst into laughter as the new group of first years entered it soaking wet. The look on Professor McGonagall's face was priceless. Dominique and I couldn't help swapping smirks at the reactions. I looked over my shoulder at Hagrid, who was ushering the last of the first years into the Hall with a smile fighting to break across his face.

Professor McGonagall didn't say anything, but shook her head at the sight of us all. We gathered in a group before the small stage where she stood beside a stool with an extremely tattered looking hat sitting upon it. Everyone was shivering, their teeth clattering, but every single one of us had a smile on our face.

Our attention was immediately focused as a wrinkle in the old hat opened up, and suddenly it was talking.

"Don't let my appearance fool you,

I'm smarter than I seem,

I've spent over a thousand years,

In prestige and esteem.

My job is not so simple,

And yet I never fail,

There's not a thought that you can think,

That I cannot reveal.

I've got the task upon my head,

To sort you where you go,

But let us speak before we start,

There are some things you need know.

There are four houses, great and grand,

That separate these halls,

I'll decided the place for you,

Between these many walls.

If you've a heart brave and true,

And loyal to a fault,

Then Gryffindor is where you'll go,

No lions ever halt.

If you've wisdom beyond your years,

And yearn for all life's facts,

Then off to Ravenclaw you go,

Ravens never lack.

Have you ambition never to fail,

And seek your name remembered,

Then Slytherin is the place for you,

For snakes are never hindered.

If you've a soul that's full of love,

And a heart that's full of patience,

Then you shall go to Hufflepuff,

Where Badgers honor dedication.

Now come one, and come all,

Pick me from where I'm sat,

And set me down upon your head,

For I'm the Sorting Hat!"

The Great Hall erupted into applause after the Hat's song. I clapped along with them, an excited smile upon my face.

"I hope we both get put in Gryffindor," Dominique whispered beside me with a large smile. I crinkled my nose and sent her a funny face. She giggled and looked back to the stage.

"When I call your name," Professor McGonagall began, "please step forward and take a seat on the stool to be sorted."

"Nott, Gregory," Professor McGonagall called a moment later, reading from a long sheet in her hands.

The boy stepped forward, soaking wet as the rest of us, with a smug grin on his face. He plopped down on the stool and McGonagall placed the tattered hat on his head. A few moments later, the hat shouted, "Slytherin!"

And so the sorting began. McLaggen, Scott went to Gryffindor. Roberts, Niall went to Ravenclaw. Alice ended up sorted in Hufflepuff and the Scamander twins both went to Ravenclaw. Fred was sorted into Gryffindor and Roxanne into Ravenclaw. Some fellow named Creevy went to Hufflepuff and a girl with the last name Fallon went to Slytherin. Dominique went to Gryffindor, as did James, who followed immediately after the two of them. Molly ended up in Hufflepuff with Alice.

During the sorting, I looked over my shoulder and noticed my brother sitting at the Slytherin table, watching me with a small smile. He sent me thumbs up just as my name was called.

"Styles, Journey," Professor McGonagall called.

I scowled at the use of my first name and walked up the steps of the platform. I sat down on the stool and the hat was placed on my head.

_Ah. I have not felt such power since the founding days, _a voice in my head said.

My eyes widened slightly, not expecting to hear the Sorting Hat's voice mixed amongst my own thoughts.

_Difficult, this is very difficult. You've got qualities that branch across the four houses respectively. But where to put you?_

I looked over at Rance, who was still watching me with a smile.

_Your brother went to Slytherin, but the differences between you both are vast._

I scrunched my brow in confusion. Rance and I weren't so different.

_But you are. You are different from the rest. Such power. You would do well in Slytherin. Such thirst for knowledge. Ravenclaw would serve you well. Hmm. Decisions. Decisions._

The Hat was quiet for a few moments longer before bellowing out, "GRYFFINDOR!" I was immediately confused. I felt the Hat removed from my head but took a second to step off of the stool. The Hat had literally just been debating between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. I had honestly expected, even wanted, to go to Ravenclaw. Where had Gryffindor come from?

As I walked off of the platform towards the Gryffindor table, where everyone was applauding, I looked behind me at the Hat, who seemed to be watching me as I moved. I turned my gaze over to my brother, who was frowning, but clapping all the same. I sent him a small smile.

"Newt! Over here!" I heard Dominique call.

I moved towards her and sat in the seat next to her.

"I just knew you'd be in Gryffindor with me!" she said happily, pulling me into a hug.

"I thought you said your name was Newt?" I heard Fred ask. I looked across the table at the dark skinned boy and shrugged.

"Journey is my first name. I can't stand it. So I use my middle name, Newt."

He nodded and sent me a quirky smile. "I like Newt better too."

I grinned widely at him and looked happily around my new housemates. I had a feeling it was going to be a good year.

* * *

"Why is there an owl on your head?" I heard a familiar voice ask me at breakfast several weeks after the sorting.

I looked up and noticed James watching me with an equally confused and amused expression on his face. I shifted my head slightly, causing Chewy to hoot indignantly from his perch on my head.

"He thinks I'm his own personal perch," I reply, turning back to the paper in my hands.

I heard James sit down across from me. "Why don't you just move him? It looks like it hurts."

I chuckled. "It doesn't. He's very gentle. Plus, Chewy gets upset with me when I move him before he's ready."

"Chewy?"

I shrugged. "He chews things."

James accepted my explanation and became silent, which was unusual. I looked up at him as he stared at the table in front of him, blushing slightly.

"Where are Tate and Noah?" I asked him, inquiring as to where his new best friends were. I hadn't seen them separated except in classes since the start of term.

"They aren't awake yet."

I nodded and nibbled on a piece of toast in front of me.

"Where are Fred and Dom?" he asked me.

"Same, I assume. I'm usually at breakfast before them."

We were silent for several minutes longer.

"Is there something you wanted James?" I asked.

It was unusual for him to be sitting in front of me so casually. He had quickly become the most popular boy in first year after a series of rather impressive pranks in the first two weeks of term. He was brilliant at magic, and it didn't hurt that he was rather cute too. He didn't really talk to girls, though, unless they were related to him. Sometimes he'd talk with me if I was with Dom or Molly, but mostly he kept away from me. We hadn't had much interaction since the Great Lake incident, which had become somewhat famous amongst all years once the truth of why all the first years were soaked at the Sorting Ceremony came out. I had become quite popular myself, mostly because of that incident. All of the students were claiming I was the one who started it, even though it had been James who pushed me into the lake.

His ears turned very red and a light blush crawled across his cheeks. He was very fair skinned with lots of pale freckles, similar to Dom and Molly. It must be a Weasley trait. He looked up at me sharply, embarrassment and anger in his face.

"Not at all. What would I want with a reptile?" he spat.

I rolled my eyes at him. He was also quick to ridiculous anger. "Newts are amphibians, Potter."

His blush darkened and he stood up and walked out of the Great Hall. I shrugged at his behavior, mostly accustomed to it, and continued my breakfast.

* * *

"Can anyone tell me who discovered the twelve uses of dragons blood?" Professor Clearwater asked us all. It was nearing Christmas and a thick layer of snow coated the grounds outside. I was free after this period, so I was excited to rush out into the snow and have a snowball fight with Dom and Fred.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Albus Dumbledore," James answered.

I looked over at the dark haired boy, who looked more intrigued than I had seen him look in any other classes before.

"That is correct, Mr. Potter. 5 points to Gryffindor."

Tate Thorin, James's best friend, clapped him on the back in congratulations. James sent him a smirk and I looked away.

"Professor," Harper Lynn started, "This is Defense Against the Dark Arts. Isn't dragons blood a Potions subject?"

Harper was a Ravenclaw and one of the smartest in our class. Third to me and, surprisingly, James.

"Yes, Ms. Lynn, it is. 5 points to Ravenclaw for your observation. However, dragons blood has many ties to the dark arts. Can anyone here tell me why?"

The classroom was quiet for a few moments, no one speaking up. I raised my hand once it was clear Professor Clearwater wasn't going to budge unless someone at least attempted to answer her question.

"Yes, Ms. Styles?"

"Well, one of the uses of dragons blood pertains, in part, to the creation of Inferi," I said.

Professor Clearwater looked impressed. "Very good, Ms. Styles. 20 points to Gryffindor."

I grinned proudly.

Professor Clearwater went on to explain how dragons blood helped in the creation of Inferi, and how using expired dragons blood created weak Inferi. Her lesson continued on into what Inferi were and then, eventually, she came to the subject of how to ward them off.

"Now, the only way to repel Inferi is with fire. There are several fire summoning charms. The basic fire-making spell is _Incendio. _Repeat it alongside me, class. _Incendio."_

I blatantly did not repeat the charm, remembering several incidents in the past where simply muttering a spell had caused it to take root for me. It was always an embarrassing situation, and I was usually sent to detention for acting out the spell instead of just repeating the word. People had yet to realize that I wasn't trying to cause trouble. My wand just responded to me, even when I wasn't holding it.

"Now, the wand movement is simply a flick. Watch," she said, flicking her wand slightly. "Now, you all get out your wands and practice the motion."

Everyone in the class brought out their wands and started flicking them, just as Professor Clearwater had showed up. I did the same, admiring my wand, as usual, as I held it in my. I was still fascinated by the story of my wand and couldn't help but form a strong attachment to it. It was incredibly loyal and eager to perform magic, as evidenced by it creating spells if the words were muttered and not intended to occur.

"Now, there should be a piece of parchment in front of each of you. I want you to practice this spell until you are able to conjure flames."

The room filled with mutters of the incantation, but hardly any flames were produced. This was the usual occurrence in our classes. It took several tries before any of my peers mastered a spell or charm. That's the way it was supposed to work for young witches and wizards. I quickly found out through my classes that I was the odd one out. I mastered charms and spells on my first try and it was incredibly unusual. So, to avoid standing out, I made sure to wait a bit before trying spells or charms out, so that it wasn't too obvious how different I was. I had a feeling that the attention acquired from being so gifted wouldn't be good attention.

Fred was seated beside me. His wand was a lot longer than mine and a much darker color. It had a branchlike handle and some funny looking designs carved into it. He told me once it was made from Dogwood, just like his father's was.

"_Incendio,_" he said, flicking his wand in the direction of the parchment.

Nothing happened. I looked around the room at the rest of my peers as they attempted to perform the spell. I noticed some smoke coming out of James's wand and knew he would master the spell soon. Sure enough, his next attempt produced fire, which engulfed the parchment in front of him quickly.

"Very good, Mr. Potter!" Professor Clearwater praised. "10 points to Gryffindor."

James looked very proud of himself as he stared at the flames in front of him. He caught me staring a moment later and smirked at me, noticing my own parchment wasn't on fire. He raised an eyebrow in challenge. I glared at him and lazily flicked my wand at the parchment in front of me, muttering the incantation so as not to raise suspicion. The parchment burst into a white flame.

"Absolutely astounding, Ms. Styles," Professor Clearwater cried, looking at me in awe. "Very few witches or wizards are able to produce a white flame at such an age. 20 points to Gryffindor."

The entire class turned to look at my white flame, causing me to shrink slightly in embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed, Newtie. It's brilliant," Fred said, nudging me with his elbow.

I crinkled my nose and sent him a small smile back, my cheeks still glowing from all the attention. I watched him attempt to light the parchment on fire again. Once again, nothing happened.

"Think of fire," I told him.

He looked at me curiously.

"Imagine what you want to happen. That's what helps me."

He nodded and turned back to his parchment. A moment later, his parchment erupted into beautiful orange and red flames. He grinned widely and pulled me into a one armed hug.

"I knew I was friends with you for a reason, Newtie!" he cried.

I shoved him off of me with a grin and found myself looking across the room at James, who was watching me with a strange look. I grinned smugly at him and extinguished the white flame burning in front of me.

* * *

"You've got to keep this a secret, Newtie," Rance told me over Christmas break. "No one can know about your magic."

"I don't understand why it's such a big deal," I said. "So I'm better at magic than the other kids my age. So what?"

Rance shook his head. "It's not that, Newtie. You're a smart girl. You've always been. But you've got more control over magic than even most experienced witches and wizards. You didn't even need a wand to do whatever you wanted for years. Probably still don't if you wanted. You're special, Newt."

I blushed at the compliment. "I still don't see the big deal."

"Well, for one, the Minister of Magic doesn't just visit a new witch or wizard. He and Professor McGonagall came to see you; to see what you were capable of. Your magical readings are off the charts. Plus, I told Professor McGonagall about what you did with Asha."

My blush deepened and I looked away. "How did you know?"

"Muggle's are no where near as capable as witches and wizards, but they aren't entirely incompetent. Asha died in Mum's stomach. But you brought her back to life. Magic isn't supposed to do that, Newt. But I saw it. I saw the light from your hand as you touched Mum. And then suddenly Asha was alive again. You saved her."

"I don't understand," I said.

Rance shook his head. "I don't expect you to now. But one day you will. Witches aren't supposed to be able to bring back the dead. You absolutely can tell no one about just what you can do with magic."

"I get it. I won't," I said irritably.

"You can't even tell your friends. Not even that boy you're always hanging around," he continued with a scowl.

I made a disgusted face. "Ew, Rance. Fred is just a friend."

"For now," he muttered darkly.

He had been very sad the entire Christmas break. He hadn't even been happy on Christmas, except for when he opened my gift to him, which was a little enchanted paper snitch that I had created for him. He was the seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team.

"Rance, are you alright?" I asked him softly.

He sighed. "Don't worry about me, Newtie."

I gave him a look. "Is this about Mom?"

His face darkened even more, but he didn't respond.

"Why are you both fighting?"

"She told me that she had heard of some therapist who said he could cure magic, as though it were a disease."

I was both shocked and confused. "What? Why would anyone want to get rid of magic?"

Rance shrugged.

"I thought Mom didn't mind magic."

His eyes flashed briefly, before calming. He sighed and pulled me into a hug. "She just doesn't understand it, Newt. She's a muggle and her children are magical. It doesn't make sense to her."

I didn't respond. We were quiet for several long minutes.

"I'm serious, though, Newt. You can't let people know how powerful you are. If the wrong people found out about you, you could get hurt."

I frowned. "Who would want to hurt me?"

He didn't answer me.


	2. First Year Perspectives

_This is a continuation of the first chapter of this series. It is from two other characters' point of view during their interactions with Newt. I think this will better help us understand both the other characters in the story as well helping us better understand Newt. I will be following up each main chapter with a chapter consisting of POV's of other characters within the constraints of the previous main chapter. _

* * *

Lila Richards, ne Styles

She'd know him all her life. He was the cute boy down the street; the strange boy who attended some boarding school in Scotland. He was the boy who could make things happen; bizarre things. Most of the other children in her school and on their street avoided him. But not Lila. She was fascinated by him.

He didn't know she existed, or at least paid her no mind, until she was thirteen and he was fourteen. He was sitting on a swing in the park by himself when she approached him. He was staring at the ground, his face blank. She thought he looked sad.

"I'm Lila," she had introduced, standing in front of him, her hands by her sides, her curly blonde hair frizzy from the humidity in the air.

He had looked up at her with a surprised and somewhat confused look. He didn't speak at first, just watched her as she shifted her weight from foot to foot in front of him. He was very handsome, with dark hair and bright silver eyes.

"Thomas," he finally responded, still watching her curiously.

"I know," she said. "You're the boy that makes things happen."

He smiled at her and from that moment, Lila was inexplicably in love with Thomas Styles.

She was nineteen when she married him. The wedding was simple and small and everything she could ever have hoped for. She was twenty-one when she found out she was pregnant. Thomas was thrilled. He kept going on about how excited he was to be a father. He built a crib and they painted the spare room in their small house bright blue, because Thomas told her he knew it would be a boy.

After Rance was born, Lila didn't think she could be any happier. She was desperately in love with a wonderful, special man who felt the same about her and she had a son who was devastatingly gorgeous. Thomas said Rance took after Lila, with his blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

Lila knew her husband had secrets. She had known he had secrets before she married him and before she even loved him. She had hoped that one day he would share them with her, but he never admitted to having any. He was still the boy who could make things happen; things Lila couldn't explain. Like the shattered mirror turning up repaired the next day. Lila knew super glue couldn't do that. Or the time Thomas came home in the middle of the day, saying he had forgotten some papers for work. Lila had looked outside and noticed he hadn't arrived in the car he had departed in. Flowers Thomas would bring Lila wouldn't die. All these little things let Lila know that she didn't know everything about her husband.

It was nearly a year after Rance was born when Thomas started acting strange. He was coming home later and later, sometimes not at all. He was always exhausted and more often than naught, Lila would catch a very sad expression flit across his face. She would ask him what was wrong, only for him to respond that his work at the office was hectic. Lila was worried for her husband.

One night, nearly a year after his strange behavior started, Thomas woke Lila when he came home late one night, after having been gone for well over a day, and crawled into bed. He gathered her in his arms and kissed her all over, whispering how much he loved her. He cried into her shoulder until he fell asleep. Lila was too afraid to ask him what was wrong.

Everything returned to normal after that. Thomas spent several weeks continuing his busy schedule, but his attitude was more carefree; almost grateful. He spent as much time as possible with Rance, doting on the boy, and all of his other time lavishing his wife with love and attention. As happy as Lila became over her husband's turn around, she never forgot his bout of depression.

Lila was nearly twenty-seven when she found out she was pregnant again. Thomas and Rance were thrilled; both excited to welcome a new member to their family. Both thought she would have a girl. Lila was hoping for another beautiful boy.

She gave birth to Journey Newt Styles three weeks early. She was a beautiful baby girl with dark curls and wide, silver eyes; the spitting image of Thomas. He had chosen the name for the little girl, much to the dismay of Lila, who couldn't imagine naming a little girl after an amphibian. Thomas claimed it was the name of his great, great, great grandfather. But Lila allowed it because she loved her husband desperately.

Journey was nearly seven months old when tragedy struck. Thomas didn't come home from work one day. And then he didn't come home for several more days. Lila called his family. No one answered. She called the police and filed a missing person's report. They said they would do their best to find him. Several weeks passed by without any knowledge of Thomas's whereabouts being discovered. Eventually, the police told Lila that they suspected Thomas had disappeared of his own accord. The thought was more devastating to Lila than the thought that her husband could be dead.

Lila was a mess. She could barely take care of her children. She was distraught over her husband's betrayal. She was distraught over being left alone with two children to fend for.

Rance was eight years old when Lila finally explained to him that his father wasn't coming back. She was stunned when, during his fit of sadness, things started floating around him. Lila had no idea what was happening. And then suddenly there were people at her front door in strange looking clothes who were explaining to her that Rance was a wizard and that what she had seen was magic. And everything made sense to Lila. All the strange occurrences surrounding her husband. It was magic. And the knowledge that he had hidden it from her made her hate him.

She met Joshua Richards three years later and married him within eight months. He doted on her children and didn't ask too many questions about the boarding school Rance attended each year. When Lila found out she was pregnant four years after marrying Joshua, she thought to herself that maybe her life was finally stable. And then she miscarried, only to find out a day later that the doctors had been wrong. And all the strange occurrences returned to her life, only she didn't know it was her daughter causing them.

Asha was born an almost identical match to herself and Rance, wild blonde curls and sky blue eyes. She was perfect in every way. Joshua loved her more than anything, and so did Lila. Journey obsessed over her little sister, swearing to teach her everything and be the best big sister ever. Lila was content with her life.

And then the witch and wizard showed up at her door. She thought they were for Rance at first, but was devastated to hear they were there for Journey. She had hoped that the magic gene had skipped her eldest daughter, even denying their claims up until seeing the proof before her eyes.

And when the two strangers explained just how advanced Journey's magic was and how dangerous she could possibly become, Lila felt the hardness settle in her heart. Magic had only ever brought her agony. She didn't want any part of it anymore. Not even if it meant losing her eldest children.

* * *

James Sirius Potter

He's certain he's never seen any girl as pretty as she is. He always kind of thought Alice was pretty, mostly because of her blonde hair and crush on him and the fact that she is the only girl always around that isn't related to him. But she pales in comparison to the girl sitting by the window next to her. Maybe it's her hair, all wild, dark, wavy, long, and tied up with a pretty blue ribbon. Or maybe it's her eyes, that are silver and shining like a light, something he's never seen before. It might be her nose or her lips, maybe the dimples in her cheeks when she smiles. Whatever it is, James can't stop looking at her.

He's been around girls before, but none like her. He can't help but snark at her. Girls have liked that in the past. But she doesn't. She snarks back and it makes James want to sulk. He's mesmerized even more by her when she does magic right in front of him like she's been doing it her whole life.

Pushing her in the Great Lake probably isn't such a great idea, but he can't help himself. She's staring up at the castle with her pretty face all contorted in awe and he immediately wants her attention. So, he does the first thing that comes to his mind. He leans across the boat and pushes her into the water.

He realizes belatedly that it's a terrible idea, especially with Dom screeching at him like she is. But then Newt surfaces and her dark hair is plastered to her head and sticking in all sorts of funny directions, and her glowing eyes are wide and confused. And then she's glaring at him and he expects her to yell, wants her to even. But she doesn't. She smirks at him and starts doing flips in the water. And then she _challenges_ him. _Him. _He's never been one to back down from a dare, and he doesn't this time either. He's the first in the water, but not the last. And as all his peers leap into the water with shouts of glee, he looks at her the same way she looked at the castle. He's in awe of her, because she's pretty and smart and brave and unlike any girl he's ever met.

He's sorted into Gryffindor, which is no surprise. It's all he's ever wanted. And then she's there too, with this funny look of confusion on her face. He glances at her a few times during the feast, jealous of the way she laughs at something Fred has said. She catches his eye at one point and smiles at him. He decides in that moment that he is going to marry her one day.

He can't help but notice her throughout the school year. He doesn't speak with her because he's too nervous to. One morning, however, he can't help himself. She's sitting at the table eating breakfast with a goofy looking owl perched on her head. It's the funniest and most adorable thing he's ever seen.

"Why is there an owl on your head?" he asks her.

She looks up at him and he's struck yet again by how pretty and strange her eyes are.

"He thinks I'm his own personal perch," she replies.

James likes her voice. He sits down across from her and starts up a conversation. He thinks it's going well until she asks him if he wants anything. It's then that he realizes that he's being ridiculous. He hasn't spoken to her since the train ride. They aren't friends. And it's that knowledge that makes him angry. So he snarks at her again and all she does is sigh and correct him. It's embarrassing enough that he has to storm away, even though he doesn't want to.

He doesn't talk to her again that year, but he still watches her sometimes. Especially in class, because he's always trying to outdo her. He wants her to notice him as much as he notices her. She is so smart and it drives him mad. He knows she's different when she perfects the fire summoning charm on her first try in Defense Against the Dark Arts one day. She's powerful. It makes him like her more.

She's the only other person in their flying lessons to succeed on the first try. She's a natural on a broomstick. He knows they'll play Quidditch together someday. The thought excites him.

Over Christmas break, he mentions her once to his mother and suddenly the entire family knows about this Newt Styles. It doesn't help that she's best friends with Dom and Fred. Everyone teases him relentlessly. Fred approaches him and asks if he likes Newt. James blushes and denies it, storming away. But he does like her. A lot.

His father retells him the story of his grandparents. It doesn't help James any. His dad just smiles when James denies his crush. James scowls and storms away, something he's getting good at doing.

He tells himself he isn't going to like Newt anymore. It's easy for him to do while he's at home. He forgets (mostly) about the silver-eyed girl and goes on with his life. But when he returns to school and sees her walking through the halls with her older brother, he's struck again by how much he admires her. He ignores it, as usual, and continues on with his life, thoughts of the pretty girl always present at the back of his mind.


	3. Chapter Two: Second Year

_On to the second chapter then! Thanks to those of you who have followed this story. I know it's a bit slow having to read from the beginning of Newt's schooling, but it will pick up soon. Knowing her history is important if you want to understand her future._

* * *

Chapter Two: Second Year

"Newt!" I heard a shrill voice call from somewhere down the platform.

I looked over my shoulder and saw Dominique Weasley running towards me with a wide smile on her face. She was taller than last year and her hair was shorter. She looked very pretty.

I smiled widely and turned to catch her in a hug. She was still taller than me.

"Dom! I've missed you," I said as we pulled out of our hug.

"I've missed you too," she said. "How was your break?"

"It was good. And yours?"

"Brilliant. I'll tell you all about it on the train. Come on. I want you to meet my parents."

I turned to look at Rance, who was watching us with a smirk on his face. Dom suddenly seemed to notice him and it was amusing to see her face go from pale to bright red in under a second.

"Dom, this is my brother, Rance. Rance, this is my best friend, Dominique Weasley."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dominique," Rance said cordially, shaking her hand.

Dom squeaked out a response before dragging me behind her.

"See you at school Rance!" I called behind me, watching my brother shake his head in amusement.

Tom dragged me across the station towards a group of people chatting, most of whom had bright red hair.

"Mum, Dad, I want you to meet my best friend, Newt Styles," Dom said loudly, interrupting the conversation happening between the adults standing around.

A very beautiful blonde lady turned to me. She smiled prettily and held out her hand to shake mine.

"Eet is wonderful to meet you, Newt. Our Dommy has spoken of nothing less," she said to me in a heavy French accent.

I smiled widely at her. "It's nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Weasley."

"Ack! Call me, Fleur," she corrected.

I turned to the red headed man standing next to her with his arm around her waist. He grinned down at me and the happiness in his eyes lessened the darkness of the scar decorating his face. "Bill Weasley," he said, shaking my hand.

"So you're the Newt everyone is talking about," another red headed man said. He had a mischievous grin on his face and eyes that were all too familiar.

"George Weasley. I'm Fred's dad," he said, holding out his hand to shake mine.

"Where is Fred?" the dark skinned woman standing next to him asked, looking around for her son. She smiled briefly at me and introduced herself as Angela.

"I think I saw him running around with James a few moments ago," a dark haired gentleman said as he and yet another red headed man approached the group.

"'Arry!" Fleur cried in greeting, pulling the dark haired man into a hug. "Ron! 'Ow wonderful to see you! Where are 'Ermione and Ginny?"

The men all shook hands in greeting.

"They were talking with Hannah and Neville somewhere down the platform," the man named Ron replied.

"Knowing them, they'll be this way soon," Harry commented.

"'Ow are Rose and Albus? They must be so excited," Fleur continued.

"James and Fred were teasing Albus about being sorted into Slytherin," Harry said with a chuckle.

"Ack! Boys," Fleur said with a shake of her head as Bill and George chuckled.

I noticed Angela had disappeared, likely to go speak with whoever Hermione and Ginny were.

"And who have we here?" Ron asked, looking at me curiously, drawing everyone's attention back to me.

I blushed lightly as Dom through her arm over my shoulders.

"This is my best friend, Newt Styles," she proclaimed.

I shoved her off of me with a grin.

"Styles?" Harry asked. "As in Journey Newt Styles?"

I cringed at the sound of my name. "The one and only," I replied, holding out my hand.

Harry sent me a curious look and took my hand. "Harry Potter. My son has spoken of you before."

"Spoken of? More like won't shut up about," Ron said with a laugh. He shook my hand quickly. "Ron Weasley."

"Don't believe anything he says," I said quickly, causing all of the adults to laugh and a crooked smile to appear on Harry's face.

Dom laughed loudly beside me. "James and Newt have a rivalry going on," she explained.

I scowled at her.

"Oh?" Harry inquired, his grin still in place.

Dom nodded quickly. "They're always trying to see who can get the best grades. Did you know James pushed her out of the boat last year when we were going across the Great Lake?"

There were several surprised looks amongst the adults.

"He did what?" Harry asked, looking at me with concern.

"Yep. Pushed her right out. And do you know what she did?" Dom continued. "She dared everyone in their boats to jump in the lake. Naturally, James was the first. And then everyone followed. All the first years turned up to the sorting ceremony soaking wet! You should have seen Professor McGonagall's face."

I blushed deeply as the adults burst into a round of laughter.

"I like her," George proclaimed, clapping me on the back.

"Dad," a familiar yet deeper voice called.

I turned around with a grin and saw a much taller Fred come jogging towards the group. He noticed me standing next to his father about a second later and his face broke into a huge grin.

"NEWTIE!" he cried dramatically throwing himself at me. I stumbled under his weight and fell backwards into his father, who steadied me with a boisterous laugh.

He pulled away and looked down at me. "You've not grown a bit, Newt. You're still as short as ever."

I scowled. "And you're still as tactful as ever, Fred."

He chuckled along with everyone else before turning to Dom and pulling her in for a hug, ruffling her hair as he pulled away.

"Dad, I was just wondering if you had seen my wand. I seem to have misplaced it," Fred said, stating why he had come running towards us.

I laughed at him. "Only you would lose your wand," I said.

He sent me a glare.

"Hm, I wonder," George said dramatically, before a puff of smoke appeared in front of Fred and his wand fell into his hands.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Dad."

"Find your wand, Freddie?" another familiar voice asked.

I looked over to see James walk up and stand next to his father. He had grown much taller as well and looked to be about even with Fred in height. He seemed to notice me a few moments later and his face turned red.

"Wotcher Newt," he greeted with a small nod of his head. It would have come off as cool if his ears weren't bright red.

Harry laughed and clapped his son on the back.

A whistled emitted from the red train behind us, startling me.

"Better get on the train then, children. Don't want it to leave with you," Harry said, nudging his son towards the train.

Dom grabbed my hand and pulled me after her, shouting her goodbyes to her parents over her shoulder. I looked back at the group of adults just as Angela and two other women joined the rest of them. They were all watching their children leave with proud looks on their faces. It made me wish that my mother was standing on the platform with them, proudly watching me board the train and waving goodbye to me until Christmas.

* * *

I was walking down the corridor with Dom chatting as we made our way to class when an arm was thrown over my shoulders. I looked up at Fred, whose bright hazel eyes grinned down at me.

"Hello Newt," he greeted.

"Fred," I greeted back. I looked around him and saw James walking along beside him. They had been hanging out more and more. It was understandable since the two of them, plus Tate and Noah, were all dorm mates. They had been pulling pranks together a lot recently.

"What are you two up to?" Dom asked suspiciously.

James sent her a wicked grin. "Nothing, dear cousin. Whatever makes you think we were up to something?"

"You're always up to something," I pointed out.

James turned his wicked grin on me and winked. I felt my neck heat up and looked quickly away.

"So, Newt, are you going to try out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team this year?" Fred asked.

I scoffed. "No way. All of the members from last year's team are now seventh or sixth years. They aren't going to let any second years on the team when they've got experienced players," I said.

"That's true, but you could always be put on the reserves and then get some practice time in to get good enough for next year," Fred pointed out.

James scoffed from beside him. "Yeah, right. Like any sane captain would let a midget onto the team."

I glared over at James.

"Didn't you see her last year during flying lessons, mate? She's a natural," Fred said, squeezing my shoulders comfortingly.

James shrugged and put a hand in his pocket, the other clutching his bag on his shoulder. "Still. You can't play much if you can't reach anything."

Instead of deeming him worthy of a response, I pulled out of Fred's embrace and walker quickly ahead of them, Dom keeping pace with me and glaring over her shoulder. I exchanged a quick glance with her before flicking my wand in my hand behind me. I smiled gleefully at the shout of outrage from James, whose bag had just split in two.

* * *

"So, do you think you'll try out for the Quidditch team this year?" Rance asked me later that day.

We were sitting outside by the lake, doing some homework and catching up. I sighed.

"You're the second person to ask me that today," I replied.

"Well?" Rance pushed.

I shrugged. "Probably not. I'm not really interested. Plus, I know I won't make it anyway. So why bother?"

"I think you'd make a bloody brilliant seeker," Rance commented, picking at some grass as he leaned back on his hands and looked out over the lake.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing homework?" I asked him.

"I've mostly finished it," he said nonchalantly. "Plus, I'm the ruddy top of my class and I'm Head Boy. I don't need to do homework."

I shook my head at him. "It's a wonder McGonagall gave you that badge."

He grinned at me quickly before turning back to watch the lake. After a few moments, I realized he wasn't actually looking at the lake, but watching a very feminine figure as she ran around it.

I scowled and hit him over the head with my book.

"Hey!" he shouted in protest.

"You're such a creep," I said, looking over at the girl. "Who even bloody runs in the afternoon? She's just begging for attention."

Rance smirked. "Well, she's definitely got mine."

"Ugh." I threw myself backwards, temporarily giving up on homework. "I've got a pervert for a brother."

Rance laughed and reached over to ruffle my hair. "You'll understand me when you're my age."

I scowled. "I highly doubt that."

His laugh melted into a deep frown. "You're probably right."

I sent him a confused look, but didn't reply.

"Has anything changed in regards to your magic?" he asked me.

"What do you mean changed?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Become more uncontrollable."

"My magic isn't uncontrollable, Rance," I said heatedly. "I've got plenty of control over it. I always have."

He sent me an apologetic look. "Of course you have, Newtie. I'm just saying that everyone's magic grows as they do. And you're growing up so fast."

"You sound like my father," I grumbled, ignoring the quick flash of hatred that flew across his face.

"I'm nothing like him, Newt," he said in an eerily calm voice.

I looked up at him under my lashes. "I know that, Rance. You'd never leave me."

A smile flitted across his face and he pulled me into a hug. "I'll never leave you, Newtie."

* * *

"Today, we will be discussing Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration," Professor Gordon said.

Transfiguration was one of my favorite classes. Professor Gordon was a nice old fellow; strict, but kind to those who wanted to learn. I was seated next to James today. He kept playing with his quill and avoided looking at me. He was so strange.

"There are five exceptions to the art of Transfiguration. It is impossible to use transfiguration to create money or food, to regrow body parts that have been cursed away with dark magic, to resurrect the dead, and to turn an animal into a human. Now…" Professor Gordon continued to lecture about the exceptions and why they were incapable of being done.

I, however, was stuck on something. If it was impossible to create food from nothing, then how had I always been able to conjure chocolates out of thin air for my sister? I continued to stew over the rather agonizing thought of being so different from my peers that I could break physical, magic laws. I felt a degree of separation from everyone around me, including my own brother. The idea of being different was beginning to mentally cripple me.

"Ms. Styles," Professor Gordon called.

I looked up at him and noticed that he was watching me expectantly, as were a good majority of the class. I noticed James watching me curiously from out of the corner of my eye.

"Yes, Professor?" I replied quietly.

"I find a lack of attention from one of my top students to be disappointing. Tell me, am I boring you?" he asked, sending me a stern look.

Twittering laughs ran through the room, but were silenced with a look from Gordon.

I shook my head. "No, sir. I'm not feeling very well today."

"Then, Ms. Styles, I suggest you go to the infirmary and not disturb my class with your inattentiveness. Potter, escort Ms. Styles to the nurse," Gordon said, waving us away.

I gathered my things and rushed from the room, James following quickly behind me. I turned right at the break in the corridor and sped up.

"Hey!" James called, catching up to me. "The Hospital Wing is the other way."

"I'm not going to the hospital wing, James," I said, making another turn.

"Then why'd you say you weren't feeling well?" he inquired, somewhat irritably.

I sighed and turned around to face him. "You should be happy, James, that now you have a reason to skip class. Thank you for your concern, but I'd rather not spend the afternoon in the hospital wing when I'm not sick or injured." I turned back around and continued walking.

"Where are you going then?" he asked, moving to catch back up with me.

"To see the headmistress," I said simply.

He looked surprised. "Why?"

"That's really none of your concern."

He scowled at me. "Fine. Have fun with McGonagall, Styles," he said grumpily before stomping away.

I watched him leave for a moment before turning on my heel and making my way to Professor McGonagall's office.

"How can I help you today, Ms. Styles?" she asked me once I had been let into the circular room. The room was very tidy with shelves full of knickknacks covering the walls. There were moving portraits of older men and women lined along the top of the walls around the entire office. As I walked through the office towards the desk McGonagall was sitting behind, I found myself catching the very blue eye of an old wizard with half moon spectacles and a long white beard. I recognized him as Albus Dumbledore from my readings and that one card I got from a chocolate frog. I sent him a quick grin and received a crinkly-eyed smile.

I turned my gaze to the curious eyes of Professor McGonagall.

"Ms. Styles?"

"I think there is something wrong with me," I finally blurted out.

Professor McGonagall's face softened and she gestured for me to sit in the chair opposite of her. I did so, my eyes finding their way back to the portrait of Dumbledore, who was watching me with intrigue.

"What makes you think such a thing, Journey?" she asked me.

I frowned, but didn't correct her use of my first name. "Because I can do things that others cannot."

She didn't seem surprised by my declaration.

"But you already knew that, right Professor? That's why you and the Minister came to see me the summer before my first year," I continued.

Professor McGonagall nodded her head. "Yes. It was brought to the Minister's attention that there was a witch whose magical readings were higher than had been recorded in centuries. And then I received a visit from your brother a few months after the readings were discovered and he told me of your first act of magic."

"I brought my sister back to life," I said quietly.

Professor McGonagall nodded, looking down at me over the top of her spectacles. "Yes. There have not been such acts of magic not involved with the Dark Arts in recordable history."

"Recordable history, Professor?" I asked.

She nodded and stood, moving towards a bookshelf on her right. "Yes, Ms. Styles. I was told stories as a child that ancient wizards and witches were capable of magic that held no boundaries like the magic modern witches and wizards hold." She grabbed a worn book from the shelf and moved back to her desk.

I noticed that the Sorting Hat was sitting on top of the shelf she had just moved away from. It seemed to be watching our exchange as curiously as the surrounding portraits were.

"I didn't believe your brother at first when he told me, of course," she said, flipping through the pages in the book in front of her. "But then I remembered those tales from my childhood and looked further into them." She paused on a page and began to read from it. "_We found in our research evidence to prove that there was once a time when magic had no laws. Ancient cave drawings depict images of the creation of food out of nothing and even the resurrection of the dead. Magical studies of ancient human remains from over several hundred thousand years ago have revealed that humans once lived multiple lives. This leads us to believe that the conclusions drawn in studies stating that our modern magic evolved in a broadening sense may be false. We modern magical folk may have actually devolved from our first magical ancestors."_

Professor McGonagall closed the book and looked up at me. "This theory was published a hundred years ago by Gandolfo Aligheri. He was mocked and humiliated for the remainder of his life and died shamefaced in the public. His ideas were radical and before I heard of you, I never thought twice about them."

"But now you think he may have been correct, Professor?" I asked her.

"I wouldn't say he was entirely correct, Ms. Styles. But I would say that some of his ideas might be relevant. Most importantly, the idea that there once existed, if does not exist still today, a form of magic that is not limited. Perhaps the first ever form of magic."

"And you think I may possess that magic?" I continued.

She steepled her fingers under chin and looked thoughtfully at me for several long minutes before sharply nodding her head once. "I think you possess a very great, and dangerous, amount of magical power, Ms. Styles. I have seen first hand you conjure sweets out of nothing for you sister and I have seen the results of your very first use of magic, that being your sister herself."

I stared down at the desk between the professor and myself and contemplated what she was saying.

"I've been having a lot of trouble recently with my magic," I admitted to her.

She quirked an eyebrow in question.

"I don't need my wand to do magic," I admitted shyly. "And sometimes my wand will respond to my thoughts or to my commands, even if I am not holding it."

Both of Professor McGonagall's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Can you show me these discrepancies?" she asked.

I nodded and pulled my wand out of my robes and placed it on the desk in front of her.

"Tell me a spell," I said.

"The Disarming Spell. Expelliarmus," she replied with.

I looked at her calmly. "_Expelliarmus,"_ I repeated softly. A flash of red light burst from my wand and an object came flying quickly at my face. With cat like reflexes, I snatched it out of the air, realizing only a moment later that it was another wand. I stared at it in confusion before looking up into the rather concerned expression on Professor McGonagall's face.

I quickly leaned forward and set her wand back on the desk and leaned back in my chair. "I cannot control it, Professor. It's getting worse. Sometimes, I only need to think of the spell and my wand reacts."

She leaned forward in her chair and plucked her wand off of the desk and returned it to her robes. "This is a very puzzling situation indeed, Ms. Styles."

I felt my eyes watering. "What do I do, Professor? I don't want to stop going to my classes because I enjoy them, but I can't risk hurting someone when we learn new spells and I can't exactly participate without causing a ruckus."

Professor McGonagall grabbed a cloth from a drawer in her desk and passed it to me. I accepted the handkerchief and wiped away my tears, thanking her. She nodded and accepted the cloth back, making it disappear.

"I think, Ms. Styles, we are going to need to provide you someone with whom you can practice controlling your magic. This is the only way you will be able to integrate into this school without harming yourself or others, I'm afraid."

I nodded in acceptance of her decision.

"I will contact the ministry and see to it that they bring in an expert on magical control, and possibly a trained Legilimens."

"I don't mean to be a burden, Professor," I said quietly.

"Nonsense, Ms. Styles. This is a school and, as such, we take care of our students. Now, I believe you have Charms, which should be beginning about now."

I felt my eyes widen as I stood up from my chair and grabbed my things. I watched as the Headmistress pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment and began writing quickly. She folded up the parchment and handed it to me.

"Take this to Professor Flitwick. He will excuse your tardiness. I will send for you when I have determined a suitable tutor for you, Ms. Styles."

I took the note. "Thank you, for everything, Professor."

The corners of her mouth rose in a rare small smile and she nodded at me before gesturing for me to leave her office. I did so quickly and practically sprinted to the Charms classroom.

* * *

Later that day, I pulled Rance away from dinner and made him walk me to the Gryffindor common room.

"What's new little Newtie?" he asked me, putting his arm over my shoulder.

I grabbed his hand as it hung off of my right shoulder and squeezed it. "Professor McGonagall is going to get someone from the ministry to teach me how to control my magic."

Rance sent me a worried look. "I thought you told me you had control over it."

I looked away guiltily. "Well, mostly I do. But it's getting a bit harder. Sometimes my thoughts cause spells to happen and just speaking incantations makes my wand go mad. I just want to do something about it all before it gets to be a bit much, you know?"

Rance stopped and pulled me into a hug.

"I think it's brilliant that you're looking for help, Newt. I just wish you would have told me the truth when I asked you about it."

I hugged him tightly back and pulled away to look up at him. "I'm sorry, Rance. I just didn't want you to worry."

He sent me a soft smile. "I'm always going to worry. You're my little sister. It comes with the territory."

I smiled back at him and we continued on our way.

"Say, have you heard from Mum this term?" I asked him. It was nearing the middle of October and I had yet to receive a letter from her, even though I had sent plenty.

Rance's face dropped and I could see the heated anger in his eyes. "No, Newt. I haven't spoken with her since before we left for school."

"Do you think she's alright? She hasn't replied to my letters and Chewy is always angry with me when I try to send more to her."

Rance sighed as we came to a stop outside of the portrait of the Fat Lady. He turned to look down at me.

"Mum is struggling to accept our magic, Newt," he explained softly.

I was immediately confused. Our mother had never had trouble accepting magic before. She always seemed okay with magic whenever Rance was little and started school. A little niggling thought consumed me and I felt my eyes water.

"This isn't about us, is it Rance? She's frightened of me," I said softly.

I noticed the hesitation in his eyes the second before he started denying what I already knew to be true.

"Of course not," he said, shaking his head.

"No. Stop lying to me. I can handle the truth. Mum is scared of me," I stated angrily.

Rance stopped shaking his head and breathed in deeply. "She's not afraid of you. She's developed this irrational fear of magic over the past year."

"Because of me," I pointed out.

Rance sighed again, rubbing his face with his hand, not wanting to admit anything. "McGonagall and Kingsley freaked her out. It's not your fault, Newt."

I felt myself get angry. "You're right. It's Mum's. She's being ridiculous."

I saw a bit of a smile creep on Rance's face before disappearing. "Just give her time, Newtie. She'll realize there's nothing to be afraid of. Especially now that you're getting help to control it. Everything will go back to normal soon."

I smiled sadly. "You and I both know that isn't true, Rance."

He didn't reply.

* * *

"Did you hear?" Dominique asked me at breakfast a few days later. I paused as I was handing Chewy a piece of bacon and looked up at her in confusion when she plopped down across from me. Chewy nipped my fingers impatiently and I handed him the bacon. He started gnawing on it.

"Hear what?" Fred beat me to the question. He was stuffing his face with little sausages and eggs. I grimaced as some bits of food flew out of his mouth.

Dom shot him a disgusted look and turned back to me. "We've got a new school counselor."

"A what?" I asked, my face scrunching up in confusion.

Dom nodded with a smug smile, probably proud of the fact that she was the first to be telling me this.

"Yep," she said, drawing out the 'p'. "I guess McGonagall thinks some of the students need someone to talk to."

"Hogwarts has never had a counselor before," a little red headed girl said from beside Dominique. I recognized her as Rose, yet another Weasley cousin. I smiled at the first year and turned back to Dom, who pulled Rose in for a quick hug.

"That is right, Rosie. Which is why this is so strange," Dom continued, reaching forward to pet Chewy. He whistled in contentment, causing Rose and Dom to giggle.

I quickly shoved a piece of toast in my mouth. I knew why there was a new counselor at the school. McGonagall had owled me the night before to let me know that she had procured a tutor for me and that they would be arriving today. I guess the cover up was that the new adult in the castle was our counselor.

"Did you guys hear?" I heard James say as he sat down on the other side of Dom. He sent a quick greeting to Rose before turning back to us. "There's a new school counselor."

"Dom's already told us, mate," Fred pointed out.

James seemed to pout a bit, but shook it off and dove into the food in front of him. "I think it's a bit wonky, but I heard she's fit," he said through mouthfuls of food.

I made a disgusted face. "Are all boys pigs?" I asked, turning to Dom.

I saw the glare both Fred and James sent me and ignored it. Dom just shrugged her shoulders and turned back to James.

"I heard it was a man," she said offhandedly.

I sighed as the gossip continued and returned to my own food, picking daintily at it. My concentration was broken, however, when an owl landed gracefully in front of me and held out its leg, a thin piece of rolled parchment attached to it. Chewy made an irritated noise before taking off. He was a jealous little owl.

I took the parchment and looked around at all the other students receiving mail. I gave the owl a treat before shooing it away and turning to the letter. It was a note from McGonagall telling me my private lessons were to begin tonight at eight.

I frowned and folded the letter up, shoving it in my bag.

"Bad news?" Rose asked across the table.

I looked curiously over at her and noticed her watching me. She blushed the traditional Weasley blush at my look. I shrugged my shoulders. "McGonagall wants me to tutor some first years in Transfiguration. I have to meet at her office tonight at 8:00," I explained.

Dom sent me a look of disgust. "Ugh. I can't believe you're going to be a tutor."

"I guess Gordon got over you acting all loopy in his class last week then?" James asked, looking over at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him and refused to answer. I noticed him grin out of the corner of my eye, but thought nothing of it.

* * *

"We're going to work through this together, Journey," the middle aged woman in front of me said with a kind voice. She was rather pretty, with golden hair and dark brown eyes. There was a small scar just below her right eye and she had freckles on her forehead and cheeks. Her name was Amelia Earnhardt, and she was going to teach me how to control my magic.

"The Ministry has taken an interest in your case, Ms. Styles. You're a very special witch, Journey. And we want to make sure that you grow up to be a productive member of society."

"Please call me Newt," I said softly. "No one calls me Journey."

Amelia smiled at me. "Alright, Newt, but only if you call me Amelia."

I nodded with a smile.

"Now, let's start with what seems to be difficult for you to control."

We spent the rest of the evening discussing my magic and what I was having problems with, all under the scrutiny of Professor McGonagall. It was nice to have someone in the room with whom I was familiar. Amelia sometimes came off a bit overbearing and it made me uncomfortable at times.

"We're going to meet three days a week for as long as we need to," Amelia declared at the end of the hour. "Every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday from 8:00 until 9:00. If we are not seeing as much progress as we would like, we'll move it up to two-hour long sessions. Is that satisfactory, Newt?"

I nodded, worrying about my dorm mates and friends noticing my constant absences at night.

"Good. Now, our alibi will be that you are tutoring. So, if any of your friends ask, just tell them that."

I nodded again.

"We're going to solve this, Newt. Don't worry. You'll be back in control in no time."

* * *

"How are your 'tutoring' sessions going?" Rance asked me at lunch sometime in December.

I chewed my sandwich slowly before swallowing. "They're going well, I suppose. At least now I'm not spouting off spells just from thinking about them. I still have trouble controlling it when I'm emotional."

"That's understandable. All magical people have trouble controlling magic when they're experiencing particularly strong emotions," Rance soothed.

"My friends have started to get annoyed with me being gone all the time," I told him.

He sent me a strange look. "They've seemed fine to me."

I shrugged. "I can just tell. Things seem a bit tense whenever I leave. I think they know I'm lying about tutoring."

Rance sent me a strange look, but didn't say anything.

"Still no word from Mum?" I asked after a few minutes.

He shook his head and we were quiet for several long minutes.

"I think," he started slowly, "that it would be best if we stayed here for Christmas."

I felt my breath hitch and a strong burning sensation develop behind my eyes. I quickly grabbed my wand and threw it at him. He caught it and stowed it in his bag, muttering a spell to keep the bag spell resistant.

"Do you think she hates us?" I asked quietly, tears threatening to fall.

Rance grabbed my hands from across the table and tugged, causing me to look up at him. He was watching me with a soft, sad look. "Mum doesn't hate us, Newtie. I just think its best that we stay here and give her space."

"But what about Asha and Joshua? Won't they want to see us?"

Rance's face hardened. "I think the problem is Joshua," he said. "He must have found out about magic and he's got Mum all worked up over it. He's terrified of it. Terrified of us. That's what me and Mum were fighting about all last Christmas and this summer."

Joshua's cold behavior towards me the past year suddenly made sense. I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I looked up at Rance worriedly.

"And Asha?" I asked with trepidation. "She seemed fine this summer."

"Asha is too young to get caught up in fear over magic," Rance explained, pulling his hands away from mine and grabbing my wand out of his bag, handing it back to me.

We both returned to our lunch, the unspoken truth ringing in the air. Asha was too young now. But that could change in the next few years, what with being surrounded by people who were terrified of magic. Our time with our baby sister was likely limited.

* * *

Christmas was a quiet affair that year. Rance and I swapped presents and I received a great many from my friends. My favorite gift, of course, was the small golden snitch necklace that Rance gave me. I gave him a pocket watch that I had charmed to glow whenever I was thinking of him, so that he would always know I missed him when we were separated at the end of his seventh year. He said it was the best gift he had ever received in his entire life.

The Christmas feast at Hogwarts was very small, but everyone who stayed for the holidays all sat at one long table with the professors. Rance finally got to meet Amelia and he liked her. Probably because she was so pretty.

The holidays flew by, but Rance and I never received word from our family. The term started back up and classes went back to normal. I continued my tutoring with Amelia. Weeks turned into months and the end of term was fast approaching.

Ravenclaw ended up winning the Quidditch Cup, much to the utter dismay of James, who had made reserve chaser at the beginning of the year. He lamented the loss for weeks, irritating everyone around him.

I continued to be top of the class and my small academic rivalry with James continued, much to the amusement of our peers. I hadn't conducted any pranks that year, mostly because I was worried about hurting people. My magic was steadily growing stronger and my sessions with Amelia were becoming more and more necessary.

The final class of the term came and went, leaving me and my dorm mates to pack our belongings for the summer. I received an owl while I was packing my trunk with Dom. In reality, we were having a very intense pillow fight with our three other dorm mates, Jenny Finnegan, Heather Wood, and Avery Jordon.

"It's for you, Newt!" Heather yelled, pointing to the owl now perched on our window sill.

I laughed, dodging a pillow, before scurrying over to the message. It was from McGonagall. She needed me in her office immediately. I frowned, but told the girls I would be back soon and rushed out of the room.

There were several people in the office when I arrived. Amelia was there and immediately moved to my side to put a comforting arm around my shoulder. I also recognized the Minister of Magic, Mr. Kingsley, and, much to my surprise, Harry Potter present in the room as well. They all watched me cautiously as I walked in the room.

"What's going on?" I asked immediately.

"Ms. Styles," Professor McGonagall greeted, "please take a seat."

I looked around the room. "I think I'll stand, thank you."

She nodded and moved around her desk to stand next to Mr. Kingsley.

"Why am I here?" I continued, looking over to Mr. Potter as he stood in the room.

Everyone was quiet for a moment before Amelia spoke up next to me. "Newt, your mother contacted the Ministry early this morning and…" She paused clearly uncomfortable with continuing.

"And what?" I asked, my heart clenching uncomfortably.

"She informed us that she doesn't feel comfortable in her capability to care for you," Kingsley finished softly.

My heart cracked and fell heavily into my stomach. A pressure so much stronger than anything I had ever felt built up in my chest and I had a very strong feeling that if I didn't act quickly I was going to explode.

"You mean she's abandoning me because she's frightened of me," I said, my voice cracking.

No one responded. No one could even look at me.

I fumbled quickly for my wand stowed away in my robes, alarming several of the people in the room and tossed it at Amelia, shoving her away from me. She calmly handed it over to Mr. Potter, who seemed to observe it with familiarity. She turned back to me and put her hand on my back, rubbing gently.

"Deep breaths, Newt. Just like we've practiced. You can control this," she said softly, soothingly.

I could feel it bubbling just under the surface. I wanted to explode. I needed to. But I didn't want to hurt anyone. I could hear sudden gasps around me, but couldn't open my eyes for fear of destroying something.

"Breathe with me, Newt," Amelia continued. She breathed in deeply and then exhaled. But I couldn't breathe, because I just knew that if I did, I would fall to pieces.

My mother was abandoning me. She was so terrified of me that she was giving me away, as though I were possession. She was giving me away to strangers. Why else would these people all be in the room? Why else would Harry Potter and the Minister of Magic be present? She was giving me to the Ministry because I was so powerful I was dangerous, and they needed to control me.

"Where is her brother?" I heard a voice ask.

"We haven't been able to find him since we spoke with him this morning. He disappeared," another voice explained.

"In and out, Newt. In and out," Amelia continued to whisper in my ear.

I could feel the pressure building and building. I was alone. All alone.

"You're not alone, Newt," Amelia said. "I'm right here. We're all here for you. You're not alone. You'll never be alone."

A high-pitched wail emitted from me and I heard the sound of clattering objects all around as I collapsed into Amelia's arms.

"Where is Rance?" I demanded through my tears. "Where is he?"

"We've got everyone we can looking for him, Newt," I heard Mr. Potter say. "As soon as we find him, we'll send him to you. I promise."

I opened my eyes and met his dark green ones from across the room. He was watching me with a determined look. I kept eye contact with him as I calmed myself down and started to breath alongside Amelia.

"Good girl," she whispered in my ear. "Breathe with me. Control it. In and out."

I closed my eyes and breathed in, out, in, out.


	4. Second Year Perspectives

_I just wanted to let you all know that I've finished writing the first part of this series and am starting the second. I'm so excited about the second part of this story. I'm going to be delving into some serious, in depth magic. _

_I really want to emphasize the fact that these perspective chapters are important to the story. They help us better understand who Newt is as a character. My normal chapters can be a bit vague and I wanted everyone to be able to see a rounded few of my character. She's going to some pretty dark and amazing places in the future and these initial chapters are vital in preparing us for her journey._

_Let me know what you think please! I haven't had any reviews yet, so I'm not sure what anyone is thinking!_

* * *

Chapter Two: Second Year Perspectives

James Sirius Potter

He's chasing after Fred on the platform as they wait to board the train that will take them on to school. He can't believe the idiot has gone and lost his wand. Again. Only Fred manages to be so forgetful.

He sees his dad and several of his aunts and uncles standing in a circle talking. He's got so many. Fred has thrown himself at someone. James walks up, laughing at Fred's forgetfulness and playfulness. He's easily James's favorite cousin.

Then he sees her. Fred is unwrapping himself from her and she's scowling at him with the prettiest pout he's ever paid attention to. Her hair is shorter this year, but still as unruly and wavy. Her eyes still glow and when they land on him, he's blushing so deeply it's mortifying. He tries to play it cool, greeting her casually, but he can tell by the low chuckle emanating from his father next to him that he hasn't done such a great job.

Newt tilts her head slightly as she observes him. Her lips are just tilting upwards in a smile directed at him when the train whistles loudly. James escapes quickly, not wanting to suffer the embarrassment any further.

They don't sit together on the train ride this year. James strategically avoids her, darting into a compartment with his younger brother and their cousin, Rose. Molly and Alice are there as well, and James has to stifle a groan at the sight of the small blonde girl, who has been infatuated with him for years. She blatantly stares at him and he cuts his eyes to the window, where he can see his parents standing on the platform and waving goodbye.

He's stunned when Al is put in Slytherin, his heart dropping, along with all the plans of mischief he had for the two of them. How could they be Marauders together if they aren't in the same house? He's even more bewildered when Al goes and sits next to the blonde Malfoy kid, having heard about his father's intense rivalry when the boy's father. Rose is, thankfully, placed in Gryffindor, but chooses to sit next to Dom and Newt rather than him. This, of course, causes James to notice Newt, which means he ends up glancing at her throughout the entire feast. It takes a slap to the head from his best friend Tate to get him to look away from the pretty, silver-eyed girl.

He continues to watch her throughout the year, just as he's always done. He can't control himself when he's around her, and ends up saying things he doesn't mean. Like the thing with Quidditch. She's a brilliant flyer and would be amazing on the team, but for some reason, hearing Fred compliment her on her flying as they're walking down the corridor toward class grates on his nerves and he's spouting off an insult towards her. And then she's walking away and he can feel his chest tighten because he didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Not really. But when his bag splits in two and all his things fall out, causing him to shout in surprise, he can't control the smile that crosses his face. He feels forgiven, even if he's not.

He reconsiders this sometime later when he's supposed to walk her to the Hospital Wing and she dismisses him nonchalantly, as though he doesn't really matter all that much to her. It makes him so mad, because, for some bizarre, unknown reason, she means a great deal to him. So, he lets her run off to the Headmistress's office alone and stalks back to the Gryffindor common room to grab his map, which he stole from his father's office that summer. He spends the afternoon planning pranks on Slytherin first years.

He's completely caught off guard when she turns his hair green and silver for picking on his brother. He was taunting him for being in Slytherin. He couldn't help it. He was still slightly hurt at the fact that he and his brother couldn't be as close as he had planned they would be. Teasing came easily enough to him. So when he saw his brother walking down the corridor with his blonde best friend, he couldn't resist messing with them. He didn't know she was right there and saw everything. He didn't even hear the spell, which confused him further. But he did feel a strange sensation over his head, as though someone had cracked a head on it. And then Al and Scorpius were laughing uncontrollably and Newt was berating him for picking on first years and all James can do is stare at her, because she's even more magnificent when angry. He considers kissing her right then and there, but decides he'd rather not be murdered. So he scowls and starts shouting back at her, but she starts smiling halfway through his rant and he's trying to fight his own smile and he forgets to be angry with her. He doesn't learn his lesson, of course, and she ends up jinxing him again weeks later when he trips his brother in the Great Hall.

He makes it onto the Gryffindor reserve team and he's ecstatic. His father sends him a brand new broom in celebration of the occasion. He's sitting in the common room surrounded by his friends, who are all in awe of him, when she walks in with Dom. His cousin asks why they are all so happy. Fred tells them the news. James can't be sure, but he thinks the glint in her silver eyes when they turn to look at him is admiration. His heart leaps when she smiles and congratulates him on his success.

"Not that you need it, of course," she says. "Everyone knew you would make it."

And then she's flouncing up the staircase to her dormitory and his jaw is agape and his eyes follow her and Fred is laughing his ass off, because he knows just how hopeless James really is.

He never catches her staring at him like she catches him. It affects him more than he thinks, the fact that she doesn't seem to like him back. Most girls like him. He's had two girls this year alone try to kiss him. He jinxed them both. He got a love letter from a third year a few weeks into the term. He sent it back to her with his response written sloppily on the bottom of the sheet. _No._ It's hard to admit it to himself that he's too blinded by her to like anyone else. He's too young to be so infatuated with a girl, he thinks to himself. That doesn't stop him from worrying whenever she gets a letter one morning that has her paling and frowning. She's going to be a tutor, she says. He knows she's lying, which is why he snarks at her again. She doesn't snark back, which is proof, in his opinion that she's lying. Something is wrong. But he doesn't push it.

He knows something is up whenever he notices she and her brother are staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. He knows she has parents and a sister. Why wouldn't she be celebrating the holidays with them? It's hard for him to imagine what it would be like to not be surrounded by a huge family that absolutely adores you. Everyone in his family loves one another immensely. He's been loved his whole life. Being separated from his family during Christmas would be devastating to him.

He goes shopping with Fred and Aunt Angelina one afternoon over the Christmas holidays. He buys a pretty silver charm bracelet that reminds him of glowing silver eyes. He hides it in his pocket so that Fred won't make fun of him for buying Newt a Christmas present. He debates with himself for the remainder of the holiday as to whether he should send it to her or not. In the end, he stows it away in his sock drawer and forgets about it, too shy to send it to the pretty girl he's infatuated with.

His parents tell everyone at Christmas about his crush on her. He denies it, of course. But no one believes him, especially when he tackles Al into the floor when he declares he's going to marry Newt when they get older. He storms away from the exchange fuming while every member of his family howls in laughter.

He manages to distract himself from her by throwing himself into Quidditch practices, half-heartedly hoping that one of the chasers on the team gets detention or catches a cold so that he can actually play in the game. It doesn't happen and Ravenclaw beats Gryffindor by 150 points, securing the Quidditch Cup. James laments over this fact for weeks, driving his friends and family insane.

The term ends and James and his dormmates all ride in the self-driven carriages back to Hogsmeade. His father told him once that they were actually led by these grotesque horse looking creatures that are invisible to everyone who has never witnessed death. The idea makes him slightly uncomfortable, so he doesn't think about it.

James is playing Exploding Snap with Noah in a compartment on the train when Dominique pokes her head in the door.

"Has anyone seen Newt?" she asks.

She has his attention immediately, causing Noah to make a move that explodes in James's face. He scowls at his blonde friend and wipes the soot from his face.

"No. You live with her," Fred points out from beside James.

Dom bites her lip and looks worried. It worries James.

"She got a letter this afternoon asking her to come to the Headmistress's office and she never returned. Her trunk was still in the dorm when we got back from lunch and when we had to leave to catch the train."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Fred says consolingly.

Dom nods rapidly and leaves the compartment. Fred and James exchange looks, worrying over the silver-eyed girl.

It's not until later, when the train reaches the platform and his mother and Lily are the only members of his family to greet him and Al that he stops thinking about Newt.

"Where's Dad?" Al asks. Their father said he would be there to pick them up every year.

"I'll tell you in the car," their mother replies. James and Al exchange confused looks and follow their mom and sister to the car.

"Your father was called to Hogwarts for a Ministry emergency," she explains when they are safely on the way home.

James's mind flashes to Newt being called to the Headmistress's office and he's worried. Really worried.

Later that night, his father comes home with a strange look on his face. He greets his sons, holding them tighter than usual. He tells them he loves them, which isn't unusual, but the tears in his eyes when he does so are.

"What happened, Dad?" James asks quietly.

But his father says nothing, pulling him back in for another hug, before sending all of his children off to bed. James thinks about this moment occasionally throughout the summer, especially when both Fred and Dom start complaining that Newt hasn't written to them. James wonders, hopes even, that Newt is okay.

* * *

Harry James Potter

He's reminded of his parents the first time he sees James around Newt. His son has mentioned the girl a few times over the summer, which has prompted both his wife and himself to conclude that he likes her. His suspicions are confirmed when James's ears turn bright red at the sight of the pretty girl.

Harry's first impression of Newt is that she is a bright, pretty young girl. He doesn't recognize her last name, assuming her parents to be muggle born. He's impressed when hears about how she handles James's bullying. He's always been worried that his eldest son would take after his own father in his early years. James has always been outgoing, mischievous, and the absolute center of attention. He's gotten in trouble more often than not for picking on his younger siblings and cousins. But he's a good kid. Very smart and loving and honest.

Harry is impressed even further with how Newt interacts with his more enigmatic nephew. She speaks very well, with a manicured accent that screams upper-middle class muggle to him. She stands straight and holds her hands locked in front of her. She blushes easily. Harry notices all these little details about the young girl in front of him and can see why his son likes her as he does. She's pretty, with expressive eyes and dark hair. Where James is wild and clumsy, this girl is calm and poised. They would complement each other nicely, Harry thinks to himself.

He later tells Ginny about the young girl their son likes and she is thrilled, wishing desperately to meet the young lady. Harry laughs at his wife's enthusiasm and kisses her. He's very happy that exciting news for them nowadays is meeting their eldest son's crush.

He throws himself into work that year, just as he always does. There's not too much going on in the world besides peace, which is a comfort to him. He doesn't want his children growing up in fear like his generation did. There are so few remaining Death Eaters that those still around don't cause any chaos, too afraid they will be caught. Harry is more occupied with the prevention of any future terrorist organizations than he is with hunting down the final Death Eaters. Ron is in control on that front.

The year flies by and he's sending his sons back to school after the Christmas holidays. He loves that they get to appreciate Hogwarts in a way he never had the opportunity to.

Later that day, he's putting away clothes in James's bedroom, per Ginny's orders, and finds something peculiar in his sock drawer. A pretty silver bracelet. Harry knows immediately who James bought this for and, with a huge grin, walks down to the kitchen to show his wife. She beams at him when she sees it, declaring their eldest had found the girl he was going to marry. Harry laughs at his wife, kissing her quickly before returning the bracelet to the sock drawer exactly as he found it. His mind flashes once again to his father, who had loved his mother since he first laid eyes on her.

He learns from Kinglsey about the situation with her parents. He's horrified, disgusted even, at the thought that any parent could willingly abandon their children over something so trivial as magic. He says so to Kingsley, who merely sends him a guarded look.

"What are you not telling me?" he asked the Minister of Magic.

"I should have alerted you to this earlier, but did not think the situation to be as severe as it is apparently becoming," Kingsley replies cryptically. "Newt is not an ordinary young witch."

Harry Potter has never been as furious in his life as he is when he discovers that the Minister of Magic has not only hidden from him the fact that Newt possesses an uncanny level of magic that has the Ministry keeping tabs on her, but that Kingsley has gone behind his back and recruited one of his best aurors to train the girl. Without his permission. He demands to be the first to know of any information regarding Journey Newt Styles. He contacts Amelia Earnhardt and berates her for disregarding his authority and demands that she send him a progress report every week. He wants to know how Newt is progressing, as it is his job, _his, _to safeguard possible threats in the magical community.

Kingsley decides that they should wait until the end of the year to inform both Rance and Newt of the situation with their parents. Harry does not like this idea. It makes him sick to his stomach. But he agrees, because in this regard, he has no power.

He's there at the end of the school year when they tell the son. He has no reaction. It's haunting how blank his face looks at the news of his and his sister's abandonment. He asks if Newt knows yet. Harry tells him that she does not.

"She will be devastated," Rance says calmly.

No one replies, because what can you say to the terrible truth?

"I need a moment," he requests softly.

They let him leave the office, wondering if they did right in telling the children separately. When Rance cannot be found hours later, Harry doubts their decision.

He's on edge when Newt enters the office later that day. The questioning look she sends him when she looks around the room breaks his heart, because he knows they are about to break hers.

He's surprised when she starts frantically looking through her robes for her wand. His immediate reaction is to grab for his own wand, unsure of her actions. But he's caught off guard when she throws him her wand. With reflexes toned by his years as a seeker, he catches the wand and observes it closely. He recognizes the wood, causing him to furrow his brow. James's wand look identical to the one in his hands.

When he looks back up, he gasps. He thought he had seen just about everything when it came to magic, but he's never seen anything like this. There are what look to be heat waves emanating off the pretty girl as she crumples in on herself and sobs. Nearly every object in the room is floating in the air, spinning rapidly. Wind rushes through the room, blowing his hair into his eyes and nearly knocking him over.

Amelia is consoling her and Harry feels helpless. His heart is breaking alongside hers. And then she starts to calm down and the wind stops and the objects spinning in the air clatter to the ground. She looks up and catches his eyes. Her silver eyes are glowing brightly from her tears.

"Where is Rance?" she begs. "Where is he?"

"We've got everyone we can looking for him, Newt," Harry says. "As soon as we find him, we'll send him to you. I promise."

She continues to watch him as Amelia consoles her. And then her eyes close and Harry feels a terrible dread settle in his chest.

He tries his damnedest to convince Kingsley to let the girl stay with his family. He thinks she could use the comfort of children close to her age. He's afraid she's going to isolate herself. But Kingsley ends up agreeing with Amelia and sends Newt home with her.

Harry returns home that night with the dread still pounding away in his heartbroken chest. He hugs his children tight and tells them he loves them. He thinks to himself that he just can't understand how anyone could give this up. He's never loved anything in this world as much as he loves his children. He would die a thousand agonizing deaths before he would see one of them hurt.

Harry tells his wife about Newt and she cries for the poor girl. He holds her tight as she whispers over and over 'how could any parent be so cruel?'


	5. Chapter Three: Third Year

_Sorry about the late update! I was in a wedding this past weekend. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their follow or favorites list!_

_Here we go!_

* * *

"Come on, Newt. We're going to be late!" Amelia called from the living room of her small London flat.

Bright silver eyes gazed back at me as I stared at myself in the mirror. I had changed a lot over the summer. Physically, maybe not so much. But everything else was different; felt different. The only difference in my appearance was the shaggy fringe Amelia had styled my hair into and the lack of childish happiness that had colored my face for so long. It was hard to be happy when you were still recovering from the shock of being abandoned by every member of your family.

"The train will leave without us, Newt!" Amelia shouted again, knocking on the bathroom door.

"I'm coming," I called back, turning away from the mirror and opening the door.

Amelia smiled down at me. "The bangs really suit you, Newtie."

I sent her a small grin, mostly for her own benefit rather than out of any happiness on my own part. She was trying so hard to help me. I couldn't begrudge her for caring and for wanting me to be happy. I moved out of the bathroom and into the living room, picking up Chewy's cage. He was inside it, chewing on another owl treat. He was the only constant left in my life.

"Let's go," Amelia said, putting her hand on my shoulder and grabbing her bag. I felt a tightening sensation below my navel and the world around me became a whirlwind of color.

After finding out that my mother was giving me up and that Rance had disappeared, probably out of grief over being cut off from the family as well, the question of where I was going to go arose. At first, and shockingly enough, Harry Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World and father of my rival, was the first to volunteer to take me in. In fact, he was almost adamant about caring for me and spoke up as soon as the question was raised. But, meaning no offense to him, the last thing I wanted was to be surrounded by a large family of happy, wonderful people. I couldn't deal with it emotionally. I think that was why I immediately agreed to go with Amelia when she offered to take legal guardianship of me. It made sense, really. She could further our lessons and I wouldn't have to be surrounded by one of the largest families in England.

Amelia had been amazing. She never pushed me to talk, but didn't avoid the subject of my family. She knew what to say and when to say it, and, more importantly, what not to say. She pushed me harder in my lessons, knowing the distraction would be good for me. And it was. It took my mind off of the fact that not only had my mother abandoned me, but the one person I thought I could always count on did as well.

The sight of a bustling Platform 9 ¾ greeted me when I opened my eyes. The familiarity should have comforted me. Instead, I felt a deep sickness settle in my stomach. Chewy hooted indignantly at the feeling of apparition.

"Come on," Amelia ushered, pulling me along beside her. "Let's drop your things off with the station workers and find a compartment."

Amelia had been offered the position of Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. Professor Clearwater had accepted a job at the Ministry of Magic, a job she had been waiting on for years.

We boarded the train quickly, me trying to avoid people as much as necessary. Amelia pulled me into an empty compartment after navigating the train for a while. We sat down across from one another and I placed Chewy in the seat next to me, slipping another treat between the bars to keep him occupied.

"I probably will have to move to the front of the train once we get moving," Amelia said offhandedly. "That's where all the professors who do not reside at the school sit."

I nodded in understanding.

Amelia sighed and leaned over, grabbing my hands. "Newt, you've been so strong all summer. I'm so proud of you."

I looked down at our entwined hands and squeezed hers tightly. I appreciated everything she had been doing for me, really.

Amelia smiled up at me and leaned back in her seat. "Have you returned any of your friends' letters?"

"I wrote to Dom a few days ago," I replied quietly, looking out the window.

"Oh?"

I nodded. "I just let her know that I was okay and that we would talk when school started. She's very upset with me."

"Well, you haven't written her all summer. It's understandable."

I nodded in agreement and continued to look out the window until the sound of the compartment door opening caught my attention. I looked over to see Dom entering the compartment quietly, sitting down next to Amelia across from me. She was watching me warily, a tense anger apparent in the tightness around her eyes and mouth.

"Well, I'll just be off to the professor's compartment then. Have a good ride, ladies," Amelia said, exiting quickly.

Dom and I watched each other for several long minutes.

"Well?" she spat. "Are you going to tell me why you disappeared last term and then didn't write to me at all this summer except to say, "we'll speak at school?" Hmm? And why the bloody hell were you sitting with the school counselor? What is going on Newt?"

I felt my eyes watering at my best friend's anger. Of course she had every right to be upset with me. Her face seemed to soften at the sight of my tears.

"Newtie, what's wrong?" she asked. "Why didn't you write to me?"

I calmly explained to her what had happened at the end of last term. Her face dropped in utter shock and sympathy. She was across the compartment hugging me almost immediately.

"Oh Newtie," she cried. "I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

I hugged her back tightly.

"I'm such a terrible friend. I can't believe I thought you were angry at me."

"You're not a bad friend, Dom. I'm sorry I didn't write you back. I should have told you sooner," I said quietly.

Dom pulled away from me, shaking her head vehemently. "No. Don't be sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through, Newtie. How is Rance taking it?"

I blanched at the mention of my brother's name, tears filling my eyes once again. "I haven't heard from him since the end of term," I admitted quietly.

Suddenly, Dom was sobbing and clutching me tight to her. Her tears spurred my own and we were a crying mess, clinging to one another. She pulled away after a while and looked sternly at me. The effect was lost due to the redness of her eyes and the wetness on her cheeks.

"You listen to me right now, Journey Newt Styles, and you listen good. What your family did, I don't care what they said, it was not your fault. If they can't deal with how utterly amazing and fantastic you are, then it is their loss. You are worth so much, Newtie. And you are so brilliant and beautiful and kind. So don't you let this change you any, because you are strong. Stronger than them and stronger than anyone I've ever met. I love you and I'll make an Unbreakable Vow right this second that I'll never leave you. Ever."

She was so passionate in her speech that I felt more tears pouring down my cheeks. "Thanks, Dom. I love you too. You're my best friend."

"You're damn right," she said, sniffing and pulling away to wipe her cheeks.

We exchanged watery smiles.

"So, how was your summer?" I asked her after several quiet moments.

She must have known I wanted the distraction, because she launched into a lengthy discussion of every single detail of her summer. Apparently, her family had vacationed to France to visit her mother's family and it was one of the dullest experiences of her life. She was just launching into a story about her grandmother's fascination with muggle hats when the compartment door slid open.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" a very familiar voice asked. I looked over to see Fred leaning in the doorway staring at me with narrowed eyes. "If it isn't little miss silent Styles herself. We all thought you had died, seeing as you didn't bother to write anyone back over the summer or say goodbye at the end of term."

"Stuff it, Fred. You don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about," Dom said scathingly.

Fred seemed caught off guard as he turned to Dom. "This coming from the person angriest at her behavior."

"Yes, well she has a damn good excuse," Dom replied, turning her nose up in the air.

Fred looked back at me with a raised eyebrow. He was even taller than last year. I wondered to myself if he would just keep on growing, eventually touching the ceiling with his head.

"Well then, let's have it Newt," another familiar voice said. Fred moved into the compartment as James walked in behind him. His hair was much longer than the year before, and was sticking up in all directions. He was a few inches taller than last year and his voice was a bit deeper. His smirk, however, was the exact same. Both he and Fred stood before me with their arms crossed. "What was so important that made you ignore your friend's all summer?"

I scowled at their aggressive behavior. "You mean your father didn't tell you?" I asked condescendingly.

James looked taken aback. "Tell me what?"

"That my mother gave me up because she didn't feel like dealing with a magical child and that my brother disappeared because he couldn't deal with the shame of it all," I spat out. The looks on their faces could have cut me physically. They were so shocked and disturbed that I had to look away. "Funny. I expected he would mention it to you all, especially considering he was the first to volunteer to take me in. Wanted to be my legal guardian."

They were speechless, and it made me feel slightly superior for effectively shutting them up.

"Newt," Fred started softly.

I cut my eyes sharply to him. "I didn't tell any of you or Dom because I was ashamed. My own mother gave me up. After thirteen years of loving me and caring for me, she decided she despised magic and couldn't bear the thought of having a witch for a daughter. So she disowned me and handed me over to the ministry so that I would be their problem and not hers."

"Newt, I'm so sorry for," Fred started.

"I forgive you," I interrupted, staring at him with watery eyes. "But this is the end of the conversation. I don't want to talk about this again. You know. It's done. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but it's not something I'm really keen on telling people."

Fred nodded and moved to sit down beside me. James sat across from him, a few feet away from Dom. He hadn't looked at me since my declaration. The entire cabin was quiet for several long minutes.

"So, what did you guys do this summer?" I finally asked, breaking the tense silence.

Fred cleared his throat before explaining that he helped out in his father's shop and played Quidditch with James. He continued on into detail about some of the customers he dealt with. Eventually, he and Dom started discussing the Quidditch Cup that had occurred over the summer. It was a nice distraction to listen to them talk about things that were incredibly unimportant. It made life seem easier. I eventually noticed that James was watching me. I caught his eye and sent him a small smile. He didn't return it, but didn't look away. I broke eye contact and turned back to Dom and Fred, but James didn't stop watching me the remainder of the train ride.

* * *

"I can't believe James and Fred actually made it onto the team," Dom seethed beside me. "I'm twice the beater that Fred is. How could they not choose me?"

She had attended the Quidditch tryouts this year, hoping to make it onto the team. In the end, Fred had been chosen for the open beater position and James had been moved from the reserves to the actual team as the third chaser. Dom had just received the news that morning. She was, needless to say, livid.

"You were there, Newt. Wasn't I better than Fred?" Dom asked, turning to me. I caught eyes with Jenny, who was walking on the other side of Dom and she sent me an amused look.

"Well, Dom, you may have been technically better than Fred, but he's a lot stronger than you. That's probably why he was chosen," I said diplomatically.

Dom sniffed in anger. "That's so sexist though."

"It's actually strategic," Jenny said. "They can teach Fred to be more technical faster than they can build up your muscle."

Dom looked about to retort something not so nice, so I interrupted her.

"Besides, Dom, Howie is a seventh year. They'll need a new beater next year, and since you made reserves, you're a shoe in."

This seemed to mellow Dom out a bit because she didn't reply and, more importantly, didn't huff at me.

"Say, Newt, why didn't you try out this year?" Jenny asked. "You were brilliant on a broom first year."

I shrugged. "I'm not really interested. Plus, I've been so busy with tutoring…"

Dom shot me a sardonic look, which made me trail off. I had this strong feeling that she knew I wasn't actually tutoring anyone. She just still had yet to confront me about it. I knew it was only a matter of time before she did, though, and I was praying it wouldn't be soon.

We finally made our way to the Great Hall and were sitting at the Gryffindor table eating lunch when Molly came running up to us excitedly.

"Did you hear?" she said with a bright smile. Her red hair was cut into a stylish bob this year and she was wearing a new pair of black-framed glasses.

"Hear what?" I asked.

"Professor McGonagall is reinstating the Dueling Club. The first meeting is Friday!"

Dom snorted from beside me. "Only you would be excited about that, Molly."

"I don't know," Rose interrupted as she sat down across from us. "Dueling Club sounds pretty fun. Al told me he was going to the meeting."

"Are you going then?" I asked her.

She nodded. "I think so."

I looked to Molly. "What time is it?"

She beamed at me. "It starts at 7:00, just after dinner. Alice is going as well."

I grinned at her. "I'll be there then."

Dom sent me a flabbergasted look. "You won't tryout for Quidditch because you don't have time, but you're willing to join the Dueling Club?"

I shrugged. "I didn't say I was going to participate. I just want to watch."

Dom narrowed her eyes at me. "You need to sort out your priorities."

I laughed lightly at her and took a bite out of my sandwich.

"I'll see you Friday then?" Molly said excitedly.

I nodded and returned to my lunch.

* * *

"Now, the Dueling Club has a rocky history, so we're taking precautions this year to insure that no one is harmed," Amelia said as she stood on the platform next to Professor Spinnet, the potions master. "Everyone who participates in a duel will have to take this potion beforehand," she continued, holding up a vial with a pink substance inside of it.

"This potion will protect you from any offensive spells temporarily," Professor Spinnet explained. "If you are hit with a spell, you will automatically be disarmed and your opponent will be declared the winner of the duel. The effects, as I mentioned, are temporary, and will only last as long as your duel."

"The rules are simple," Amelia continued. "You will not intentionally harm a student, nor will you use any spells forbidden from the club. A list of these spells can be found on this sheet, which will be posted on the wall of this room during every meeting. You also will not cheat by using any methods or means that make you stronger or more efficient than your natural abilities."

Amelia continued on listing more rules for several more minutes before explaining the proper dueling methods. After a twenty minute lecture on what was expected of us, she and Professor Spinnet finally turned to one another to demonstrate a proper duel.

The students cheered around them as they dueled for around five minutes, before Amelia managed to disarm Professor Spinnet. She sent the potions master a charming smile, causing him to blush slightly and clear his throat. She then turned to the crowd and asked for any volunteers.

James Potter, of course, was the first to volunteer, striding proudly up onto the stage. Surprisingly enough, his younger brother, Albus Potter, volunteered to go up against him. They both swallowed the pink potion before taking stances across from one another, throwing taunts across the platform. The duel wasn't as magnificent as Amelia's and Spinnet's, but it was impressive enough. Albus managed to hold his own throughout the duel, until the very end when James luckily managed to disarm him.

James was rather cool about his win, slapping his brother on the back before whooping at his friends in the crowd and sending a few girls watching a wink. I rolled my eyes at his behavior.

"Would anyone like to challenge Mr. Potter?" Professor Spinnet asked. "Ms. Styles, perhaps?"

I felt my face blanch as everyone turned to me, including James. It was a known fact that James and I had an academic rivalry going on. The professors loved it because it meant that we were always straining ourselves to do the best in our classes. I could see the smirk on Professor Spinnet's face at the suggestion of James and I dueling.

Amelia, however, did not look amused. In fact, she looked rather worried. She knew what I was capable of. My control over the summer had been weak, mostly due to emotional strain. I had been doing better during my lessons since the start of the term, but my power was also growing, which meant it was still a struggle to control, no matter how much I trained.

She sent me a questioning look, trying to see if I was up to this. I wasn't. I didn't want to go up in front of these people to face James. But that damn smirk on his face made me want to wipe it off.

"Ms. Styles?" Amelia asked calmly. "Would you like to challenge Mr. Potter?"

I hesitated.

"Scared, Styles? It's alright to admit you're afraid I'll beat you," James taunted.

I scowled deeply before pulling my wand out of my robes and marching up towards the platform. The gleeful look on James's face told me he thought he had won already.

I climbed the stairs and accepted the vial from Professor Spinnet, chugging it quickly. It tasted like peppermint. I turned to face James, who was staring me down with a smirk. We both walked towards one another and bowed, before turning and moving to our respective ends of the platform and taking our positions.

"On my word," Amelia started. "Begin."

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" James shouted, thrusting his wand towards me.

"_Protego!" _I retorted, causing a blindly white shield to knock James's spell away. The strength of my shield seemed to surprise onlookers, but I waved it away quickly and shouted, "_Densaugeo!"_

James deflected the spell, but with much more difficulty that I had with his. We continued throwing jinxes and hexes at one another for quite sometime. I could feel the tingling under my skin growing in an alarming rate. I could practically see magic moving under my skin and I knew that if the duel didn't end soon, then I might accidentally end up hurting James. I could have ended the duel right then and there. But I was worried. Honestly, I was terrified. I didn't want to hurt James. I didn't want to risk any of my spells hurting him in a permanent way. So when he shouted "_Levicorpus," _I let the spell hit me.I was yanked up by my ankles and raised into the air, my wand falling from my hand.

I hung upside down for only a moment before I was righted and placed back on my feet. The students surrounding the platform were cheering at James's victory, and though he smiled alongside them, I could see the clear as day anger in his eyes. He knew I had let him win.

"Potter wins," Amelia announced, sending me a proud grin. She knew I had given up when I felt it was becoming too much.

I walked down off of the stage and let Molly and Alice pulled me into hugs.

"I was sure you had it," Molly said quickly.

"Yeah, Newt," Alice cut in. "I've never seen such precision except from professors and adults."

"It must have been a lucky shot," Molly continued.

I just smiled at the two of them. "Or maybe James is just better than me at duels."

"Not afraid of the truth then, Styles?" I heard the boy in question drawl behind me.

I turned around with a tight smile. "Good job, Potter," I retorted.

His smirk was still in place, as was the tightening around his eyes that suggested he was pissed with me. "Must have gotten lazy on your defense at the end," he continued.

I shrugged. "I was a little tired. Duels must take it out of me."

"Guess it's good to know that grades don't mean much when you can't even use magic properly in a duel," he goaded.

I clenched my jaw and forced out a smile. "Guess I know what I need to work on then." I turned to Molly and Alice. "See you both at breakfast tomorrow." I turned quickly on my heel and left the room, not eager to spend any more time than necessary in Potter's presence.

I had managed to make only a few steps down the hall when Potter called my name.

"Styles! Wait up." He sounded angry.

I gritted my teeth and stopped, turning to him with a heated glare. "What do you want Potter?"

"A rematch. You let me win," he snarled.

"Doubting your abilities, Potter? Perhaps the insecurity of being second to me is finally catching up."

"The only reason I'm second is because I have a life, whereas you have nothing other than school," he spat.

"I have a life," I retorted.

"Is that why your family left you then?" he asked cruelly.

I felt the immediate tightening of my chest at the mention of my family. My throat closed up. My lungs froze as well as my heart. A wave of excruciating pain was threatening to overwhelm me. The emotional torture felt hours long, but couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds.

I could see the regret in his eyes a beat after he had said the words. He must have seen the agony on my face. To be unwanted by the people genetically engineered to love you is one of the most gutting feelings in the world. In those few seconds, he must have realized that. And while he was realizing just how painful it would be to be abandoned by blood, I was deciding that I was done with James Sirius Potter. I was done with his ego. I was done with his anger. I was done with his bouts of cruelty. Whatever near friendship we had developed over the three years leading up until that night fizzled away and buried itself deep beneath the ground at our feet.

"Newt," he started, the apology already on his lips.

I reigned in my emotions as quick as I could, fighting with everything in me the pressure building under my skin.

"Now that's an idea," I drawled, forcing a bored expression onto my face. "And here I've been wondering if it was something much more fundamental that caused my mother to abandon me. Thanks for your insight, Potter. It all makes sense to me now." And before he could speak, utter the apology I knew he wanted to make, I turned on my heel and left him standing alone in the hallway.

* * *

"It's a shame you can't come to Hogsmeade, Newt," Dom pouted as we lazed around the dorm.

I shrugged. "It's not a big deal," I said. "Amelia will be able to legally sign for me after a year and I'll be able to go with you then."

"But who am I going to go with?" she whined.

"Go with Fred," I stated, waving my hand nonchalantly.

Dom shook her head. "He's going with the toe rag and I'd rather not be in the presence of such prattiness."

Dom had somehow found out about mine and Potter's interaction and had taken to referring to him by all sorts of names. I wasn't going to tell anyone and cause any rifts between family members or friends. Someone must have heard us fighting or he must have confessed. Either way, Dom was holding a serious grudge against him. So was I, but less vocally.

"Then go with one of your many other cousins," I supplied.

"I would, but Molly isn't going and Roxanne has _a date_," Dom said, a slight emphasis of disgust on the latter words.

"What's so wrong with Roxy dating?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's the boy she's dating. Gregory Nott. He's a Slytherin."

I rolled my eyes at Dom's behavior. "Not all Slytherin's are bad, Dom."

"I'll believe that when I see it. Al's friend, the blonde one, he's a right prat."

"You only say that because he's a Malfoy," I pointed out.

Dom huffed, crossing her arms. "No. I say it because it's true."

I sent her a look, raising my eyebrow. "Scorpius is very kind, just as long as you don't provoke him."

Dom glared at me. "Says the girl he's in love with."

I scoffed. "He is not. He just likes me because I hexed Potter's hair green and silver last year when he was picking on Scorpius and Al."

Dom laughed at the memory. "That was priceless. James was so angry."

I smirked at the memory. "Served him right."

"Christmas was very interesting last year when Al announced he was going to marry you. James nearly strangled him."

I flushed. "Liar."

"Nope," Dom said, popping the 'p' in nope. "Al's been all hot about you since."

"Stop," I warned her. "He's a baby."

Dom laughed loudly at that. "It must make for some interesting moments, though; the two of them liking you."

I glared at her. "Scorpius and Al can like me all they want. They're too young."

"And yet I'm pretty sure Malfoy got detention last week for drawing a picture of your boobs in a textbook."

I blanched, which caused Dom to laugh even louder. I scowled at the amused blonde. "I hate you," I mumbled. She kept laughing.

* * *

"I'm thinking maybe some sort of physical exertion will expel the build up of energy you seem to be creating," Amelia suggested one afternoon in October. "The more energy you generate, the more likely you are to lose control."

I nodded, understanding her logic. "What do you suggest I do? It's too late for me to try out for Quidditch."

"Running," she said. "Why don't you take a run across the grounds in the mornings?"

So, I had taken her suggestion to heart and started running every morning. It wasn't as easy as it sounded at first, but over the next few weeks, my endurance built and I could feel my control over my magic growing. My random acts of nonverbal magic stopped and I slowly built up a stronger control over my wand, keeping it from responding to mere words, and instead responding to my will. Amelia was pleased. I was pleased and I found myself starting to relax.

It wasn't until mid-December that I had another incident with my magic. It was in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Today, we will be studying boggarts," Amelia announced at the start of class. Excited whispers broke out across the classroom. "Does anyone know what exactly a boggart is? Yes, Ms. Finnegan?"

"It's a creature that takes the shape of whatever you fear," Jenny said from her seat across the room from me.

Amelia smiled. "Correct. 5 points to Gryffindor. Can anyone tell us anything else about a boggart?"

Dom raised her hand from beside me shyly. I sent her a smile of encouragement.

"Yes, Ms. Weasley?"

"Aren't they shapeless in their natural form?" Dom asked.

"That is a very astute observation, Dominique," Amelia said. "No one knows what a boggart actually looks like because it immediately takes the form of whatever witch or wizard in its presence fears most. As such, it has been defined by the ministry as a non-being. 10 points to Gryffindor."

Dom smiled proudly beside me.

"And does anyone know the spell that repels boggarts?"

"Riddikulus," Potter stated from the back of the class. I had to control myself from grimacing at the sound of his voice. I had not spoken or even looked at him since the incident at the start of term after our duel. Dom and Fred kept telling me that my cold shoulder was driving him crazy. I didn't care.

"That is correct, Mr. Potter. 5 points to Gryffindor. Now, the incantation alone will not repel a boggart. In order for the spell to work, you must push past your fear and focus on something that will make the form the boggart has taken look, well, _riddikulus._"

The class laughed at Amelia's joke, causing the cheeky grin on her face to widen. She caught my eye as I was chuckling and sent me a wink. She moved around the desk she had been standing behind to stand in front of it. The desk wobbled some, causing a few students to gasp in surprise. An amused look crossed Amelia's face.

"Today, each of you will face a boggart and attempt to repel it with the riddikulus spell."

"Alright!" I heard Fred shout in glee from his seat next to Potter.

"You will all observe my demonstration of the spell and then, as I call your name, approach the desk to attempt the spell. Do not worry. This is a rather difficult spell to master, so do not worry if you have trouble at first," Amelia said kindly.

She took a few steps away from the desk and held her wand out, pointing it at the drawer at the front of the desk. She waved her wand and the drawer opened. A spinning shape poured before forming quickly into a tall, severe looking man with rectangular spectacles. He peered down at Amelia with a glare so strong that it sent shivers down my spine.

"You should have been the one to die," he spat, froth coming from his mouth.

"_Riddikulus!" _Amelia shouted.

Suddenly, the tall man was dressed in a tuxedo and top hat. He started tap dancing with a wide smile on his face and an umbrella in his hand. The entire class burst into laughter, causing the man to trip and fall over into the desk behind him, into which he disappeared quite suddenly.

Amelia turned to the class with a smile. "See? Not so difficult. Now, if you would please, Ms. Finnegan, come forward and start us all off."

And so it went on for the rest of the class. A student would get called up to the desk and would face the boggart, their worst fear being revealed and then transformed into something funny. Some of the fears were quite interesting to realize. Jenny was afraid of snakes, Heather was afraid of heights (which was amusing considering her father was Oliver Wood, a once famous player for Puddlemere), Greg Nott was afraid of werewolves, Noah Harding of dragons, Tate of small spaces, Georgie Fallon of spiders, and so on. I was interested to find out that Fred was afraid of fire, which he turned into a fireworks show with his charm, and Potter was afraid of disappointing his father, who he made do flips until he landed in the desk drawer. Dominique went after Potter and was afraid of being alone, which left me as the last in the class. I had spent most of the class enjoying the show, and the rest wondering what I was most afraid of. I couldn't think of anything more terrifying than being abandoned by your family.

Amelia sent me a slightly worried look as I approached the desk and held her wand tightly in her hand, sending me a small nod of encouragement. _I'm here_, her eyes said. She waved her wand and the desk drawer opened and the boggart poured out, quickly taking the shape of a very familiar person.

It was like looking in a mirror, only I knew my face wasn't glaring angrily at the person in front of me. Likely, I had a look of terror on my face as I stared into my own silver eyes across from me. Though it had all of my features, the creature standing in front of me couldn't be me. There was an evil glint in its eyes and a hateful smirk on its lips that looked completely wrong. I had never had that look on my face before.

My breath was knocked from me as I realized that the thing I was most terrified of in the world was myself. I felt tears spring in my eyes and my lungs catch and my heart skip and my stomach heave. I couldn't look away from the mirror in front of me.

"You'll kill them all," she said to me, only seconds after taking shape.

I weakly lifted my wand and her smirk widened, spreading into a gleeful grin, darkened by the malicious look in her eyes.

The spell shot from my wand without me even uttering it and the shape in front of me shattered like a mirror, the pieces fluttering into feathers and butterflies, which danced around me before sweeping into the drawer.

The classroom was completely silent. I could hear everyone's breath. And then suddenly, I could feel something strange sweep through me. It was similar to the tingling sensation I always felt whenever I used magic, only it seemed more faint and beat like a rhythm along my neck. It was magic, but not my own. It beat steadily down my spine, but so faint it was like a whisper. But I recognized it immediately. I knew what was happening. I was touching everyone else's magic.

I must have stood staring at the desk for longer than necessary, because Amelia was placing a hand on my shoulder, asking me if I was okay. I nodded and turned away from her quickly, returning to my seat and ignoring the baffled stares of my peers.

Dom put her arm around my shoulder and glared at the people around us. I took no notice of their stares. I was still wrapping my mind around what I had discovered. I was afraid of myself.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Dom asked me later that night in the common room. We were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. Fred was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of me. They were both watching me with concern.

I was quiet for a few more minutes. I was still getting used to the fact that I could feel their presence just as easily as I could see it. The tingling sensations were dancing beneath my skin and, if I focused close enough, I could sense the differences in their magic.

I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the fluttering in my skin. "Yeah. Just a bit of a shock, you know?"

They both nodded.

"It is a bit strange," Fred said slowly. "I mean, to be afraid of yourself."

Dom shot him a nasty look.

"No, he's right," I said with a sigh, leaning over and putting my face in my hands. I rubbed my face before holding my head up with my hands as my elbows rested on my thighs. "I don't know why I'm scared of myself though." Lie.

"Maybe it's because of what happened with your mum?" Dom supplied. "Maybe her fear of magic has made you afraid of it too."

"That makes sense," Fred supplied. "Better sense than you just being afraid of yourself."

Dom sent Fred another glower. They really didn't get along all that well. Must have been the whole related thing.

"Yeah. That makes the most sense," I replied. "I'm just going to go to bed. Sleep this off."

"If you need anything," Dom started.

"You'll be the first," I said, moving around the couch and towards the stairs to the girl's dormitories. On my way, I caught eyes with Potter, who was sitting with Tate and Noah in a corner. He was watching me carefully, his eyes giving away his misplaced concern. I clenched my jaw and looked away.

* * *

Whispers followed me for a week after the incident. Some were sympathetic, thinking that the ordeal with my mother had spurred my self-fear. Others thought me a freak. Some even went so far as to think me possessed. I ignored them all and continued through my classes with my head held high.

It was times like those when I missed Rance greatly. I wondered if he still had the pocket watch I had given him and if he looked at it and saw it glowing and knew that I was thinking of him. I wondered if he even cared at all.

The holidays flew by. It was strange spending a holiday without even a single member of my family. Amelia was very kind and accommodating. She even went so far as to get me the newest and fastest broomstick, the Lightingstrike, for Christmas. I tried my best not to fall into a depression. I didn't want to hurt anyone and I knew succumbing to my feelings would do only that.

She had been incredibly intrigued when I told her I could feel people's magic. She had never heard of anything such as that, but told me she would look into it.

The return to Hogwarts didn't yield anything new. Dom was still clingy in a best friend sort of way. Fred still toed the line between me and Potter. And I still ignored Potter completely. That isn't to say our academic rivalry stopped. If anything, it became much more heated, each of us desperate to defeat the other; to prove we were better.

I continued attending the dueling club, but only to watch the matches. Potter rose to the very top of the ranks rapidly and stayed there the entire year. He was unbeatable. He was also doing extremely well on the Quidditch team, making a good majority of the goals each game. Gryffindor was in the lead for the Cup by a good 300 points. It was essentially already won. His fame for dueling and his Quidditch star status quickly made him one of the most popular boys in school. It irritated me to no end that he reveled in all the attention he received. I continued to ignore him though, even as I noticed his life from afar.

School went on as usual, as did my private lessons with Amelia and my morning running sessions. I fell into a steady rhythm of classes, running, tutoring, time with Dom, time with Fred, time with Jenny and Heather, and sometimes Molly, Rose, or Alice. My grades were perfect. My friends were amazing. My magic was finally under control. I wouldn't say I was satisfied with my life. In fact, it was rather far from it. I still missed my family. I was still pissed at Rance. I still had a deep, unsettling fear of myself. But I was finally feeling at least a little settled.

But I knew better than to think nothing could go wrong again. So, when I was called to the Headmistress's office one afternoon in April, I wasn't too surprised to be confronted with yet more bad news.

It was the same crowd as before, except Ron Weasley was there as well. This time, I sat in the chair. I let Amelia rest her hands on my shoulders as she stood behind me. I handed my wand over to her before we stepped in the room. I prepared myself for the worst. So when they told me my family had been murdered, I didn't blink. I didn't explode. I didn't lose control. I could feel it though, bubbling under my skin; the dark swirling emotion that had antagonized me for so long all the months prior to that second office visit. I reined it in just so that it would not take me over.

I knew I couldn't hold on forever, and that this time, my physical reaction would be a thousand times worse than it had be the year before. So, after confirming that all of them, my mother, my beautiful baby sister, and my stepfather, were dead, and that Rance was still missing, I turned calmly to Mr. Potter and told him that I needed to leave. He seemed to understand immediately, because I was suddenly being swept alongside him into the fireplace behind McGonagall's desk and there was a flash of green fire and a tightening behind my navel a moment after and we were somewhere completely remote.

We were standing on the edge of a cliff looking down hundreds of feet into a canyon with a river plowing through it. It was then that I turned to Mr. Potter and told him to shield himself. Then I exploded. Not literally, of course. A sweeping fire did consume everything within a few yards of me and any object near me disintegrated into dust that floated away on the wind. Pieces of land beneath me started to rise into the air and orbit around me. I could feel the thickness of the air, taste the magic pouring out of my skin.

And then, at the realization that Mr. Potter was witnessing all of this, everything stopped. The fire burned out, the bits of debris fell to the ground, the wind stopped howling, and the air thinned out. I reeled every ounce of magic back in and chained it back behind the wall I had been carefully constructing with Amelia for a year now.

I turned away from the cliff to oversee the damage. There was nothing left but ash and stone within ten feet all around from where I was standing. But it was the look on Harry Potter's face that nearly broke me. It was fear. Fear and sympathy and a whole slew of other emotions that were raging through him as strongly as were raging through me. He didn't know, before. He didn't know what I was capable of. But now he did. Or, he now had a better grasp on what I could possibly do.

"I'm sorry," I whispered across the void between us. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

And after a few moments, the shock slipped from his face and his emerald eyes softened behind his glasses. "I'm not," he replied.

And so he took my arm and apparated us back to civilization. We then flooed back to the school where we faced many worried faces.

"She's fine," Mr. Potter soothed as Amelia ran to me. "She's going to be okay."

And though it didn't feel like the truth, I knew it was.


	6. Third Year Perspectives

_If anyone is concerned about it, my disclaimer is on my profile page. It is for all my works. Although, I don't see the point in disclaimers since the site itself is a disclaimer and no one is making any money off of these works._

_If you have any questions, requests, complaints, praises, please review or PM me. But mostly review._

* * *

James Sirius Potter

He's stunned when he learns about her family abandoning her. His first thought is that he can't understand how anyone in the world could ever abandon her. _Her. _The smartest, prettiest, and kindest girl he's ever met. His second thought is that he can't imagine how she must feel. He didn't think he could survive his own family doing such a thing to him.

His mind flashes back to the end of last term, when Newt didn't ride the train home and his father returned late from a situation at Hogwarts. Both of his parents seemed sad for days afterwards and both brought up Newt more than usual. It was odd to him that Newt didn't respond to either Fred nor Dom. The two complained about it all summer. But he understands her silence now. He doesn't think he could speak in such a situation either.

It isn't until they've been on the train for several hours that he notices she cut her hair. It surprises him that he didn't notice immediately. Her fringe shields her eyes. But not entirely. Because he can still read the heartbreak in them when they flash up to meet his own. And he can't bring himself to smile back at her when her lips tilt upwards courteously because he'll never be able to smile or laugh as long as she's broken in any way.

He doesn't do it on purpose, but he seeks her out when he is moved from the Quidditch reserves to the team. He announces the news to the entire common room, but he's only watching her. It doesn't seem to surprise her at all. In fact, she doesn't seem interested in his news at all. She looks up at him briefly, before returning to whatever she was working on before. Her nonchalance strikes an unpleasant chord within him, which is probably why their next encounter blows up in his face.

He's thrilled to duel her, which doesn't surprise him. He's always looking for a way to impress those around him, her especially. The duel with his brother wasn't much of a challenge for him. It wasn't easy, by any means. Al is very talented and smart, but James knows that his experience outweighs his younger brother's by far. But Newt, she's top of the class! She's brilliant at magic. But so is James, and if there is one thing James is always up for, it's a challenge, and dueling Newt is about as challenging as anything he's going to encounter in this club.

He expects her to be as energetic with her magic as he's always seen her be in class, and her first defensive spell exceeds his expectations on the manner. But, throughout their duel, he practically watches as she slowly and slowly pulls away. Instead of the thrill he is used to seeing in her eyes whenever she does magic, there is a sort of hesitation. It's almost as though she is afraid. Of what, he doesn't know. Surely not himself?

He sees it in her eyes a second before his spell hits her. _Submission._ She purposely fails to defend herself and she's yanked into the air by her ankles. The realization of what she has done burns him like a hot iron. She let him win.

He might have brushed it off had his pride not been so wounded. Did she think he could not beat her fair and square? Had she seriously underestimated him so much? He was just as good as her at magic, maybe even better.

His anger at her actions festers within him as he accepts congratulations from his friends and professors over his victory. He lets it seep out when he taunts her after the duel. Her cool demeanor at his words only angers him further, which is why he follows her when she leaves and says things he would never in a millennium mean.

Afterwards, he realizes he's never made a worse mistake. He cries in frustration in a broom closet over his own cruelty. He shouldn't have said such terrible things. No one deserves such horrible treatment.

She avoids him for months, and he knows he deserves it. But he watches her anyway. She always seems to catch him staring at her. He's memorized her the silver in her eyes now.

He's not surprised when he discovers his boggart is a version of his father he's never met. The poor representation of the man who made him tells James that he hates him and that he could never make him proud. James knows this isn't his father, and dispels the boggart easily. But, James has never been more surprised in his life than when Newt's boggart turns out to be herself.

He supposes that it makes sense, after he thinks about it for quite a while. Her family abandoned her because of what she is, a witch. Maybe they caused her to fear herself as well.

He's so good at Quidditch that it surprises even himself. It's in his blood, he knows, but he didn't realize it would be this easy for him. He practically wins the Quidditch Cup on his own, and everyone in the school recognizes this as truth. This is why they all fawn over him, especially the girls. James knows that they want him for his popularity, but that doesn't stop him from basking in the attention everyone gives him. But as much as he loved the attention he was receiving, it bothered him to no end that he wasn't receiving any attention at all from a certain silver-eyed girl.

His father visits him and Al one day on campus. He looks very grim. They ask him what is wrong and he tells them the news about Newt's family. It's a blow to James. His heart fractures even further for her. How can one person suffer so many tragedies?

He doesn't see her again before he takes the train back home for the summer, but she stays on his mind unfailingly.

* * *

Amelia Earnhardt

She had wanted to be an Auror since she was a little girl. Her mother was a Healer and her father a muggle who ran a construction company. Fighting and violence didn't exactly run in her family.

She was always a rather smart girl. She was top of her class all through primary and, when she was accepted into Hogwarts, was always one of the top students there as well. She was a Ravenclaw, and proud of it.

She hadn't struggled through Auror Training, per say, but she didn't fly through it as she did all her other studies. She had to work very hard to pass the program and was absolutely devastated to discover she was being given a desk job after she graduated. She was to specialize in unique cases of magic, which rarely happened, meaning very little field work.

She spent years working in the Auror Office studying various unique and unexplainable cases of magic before she received the call from Kingsley that had her moving to Hogwarts in order to work with a very special witch.

Newt had been very nervous the first time Amelia met her. She was shy and embarrassed by her magic, but Amelia saw it for what it truly was: a gift. She had never heard of such types of magic, but had listened readily when Minerva McGonagall explained her theory on the matter.

Amelia would spend hours over the course of her first year working with Newt pouring through texts, trying to discover as much as she could about the young lady's abilities.

Her main focus for their lessons was control. Newt needed to learn how to control her magic so that she wouldn't accidentally hurt herself or others. Amelia took Newt through several training exercises that focused on magical control and restraint that she herself learned in Auror Training. Magic is physical, an extension of a witch or wizard's own body. She had to teach Newt to understand this in order for her to wield her magic as it is naturally meant to be wielded. She was immensely impressed with how quickly Newt picked up on the techniques.

She was stunned to see just how powerful the young girl was when given the news of her abandonment. It was as beautiful as it was terrifying to witness. She was like a hurricane blowing through the room. Her magic touched everything in the room and lashed out against the random objects strewn about it. It was the most natural thing in the world for Amelia to throw herself into the catastrophe to comfort the grieving girl, just as it was natural for Amelia to take her into her home to care for her. Amelia loved the young girl more than she cared to admit. So she clothed her, fed her, gave her a home, and cut her hair. She helped her with her magic and taught her spells and tricks and told her jokes before bed. She took her to work once or twice over the summer and never let her mourn alone. She was as much of a friend, sister, and mother as Newt would let her be.

She watched Newt carefully during her third year at Hogwarts. She seemed only slightly withdrawn, but not as much as Amelia feared she would be. Newt was much stronger than she appeared to be. She was very small, dainty and petite. One would not think of her as being strong. But her maturity was astounding and her magic breathtaking. There was very little Newt could not do if she tried, and it made Amelia love her all the more.

Amelia wasn't too surprised to discover that Newt's boggart was a misrepresentation of her own self. Newt had been tormented and abandoned by her family because of her abilities. She had been conditioned to think of herself as harmful to others. The thought made Amelia sick.

She tried her best to make Newt happy over the holidays, going so far as to spend what little money she had on a ridiculously overpriced broomstick that Newt could surely use for exercise. She had heard about how natural Newt was on a broom and hoped to encourage her pursuit of sports to distract herself with.

Newt smiled and thanked her for the gift and spent the holiday with a smile on her face. Amelia was happily overwhelmed by the affections from the young girl. She thought to herself that maybe Newt would heal from the wrongdoings against her.

But nothing prepared her for the news she received about Newt's family. All she could think was that the knowledge of their murders would destroy her. So, when she softly admitted to Newt in the Headmistresses office the tragedy her family, she was stunned at her reaction. The calmness of her demeanor and the straightforwardness of her request to be removed from the school confounded Amelia. Could such a young girl be so controlled?

When Harry returned from wherever he took Newt, Amelia could not control her urge to run to the poor girl. She sobbed into Newt's shoulder and could not hold back the thoughts of what irony it was that the young girl who had lost everything was patting her head in comfort as she cried for a loss that wasn't even her own.


	7. Chapter Four: Fourth Year

_Enjoy! Review!_

* * *

The funeral for my family had been a small one, but there were many faces I wasn't expecting to see. I knew Dom was going to attend to support me. I had told Fred not to come, but he did anyway. The biggest surprise was probably seeing the Potter family in attendance, as was seeing Ron and Hermione Weasley and their two children. Rose had hugged me tightly, as had Mrs. Weasley, which had surprised me seeing as we hadn't met before. Mr. Weasley had put his hand on my shoulder and given me a sad look and his regards. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had also given me hugs, Mrs. Potter also introducing herself as Mrs. Weasley had.

But the biggest shock of all had been James Potter pulling me into a hug and telling me he was sorry and that he was such a prat and that he wished this had never happened. I had been too shocked to hug him back, but I had given him a small smile when he pulled away.

His brother, Albus, had looked at me awkwardly before shuffling his feet and muttering that he was sorry for my loss. Their younger sister, Lily, had told me I was the prettiest girl she had ever seen and that she didn't like it when beautiful people cried. I told her that no one could be as pretty as her and she had smiled and hugged me, whispering she was sorry, before walking off. She was odd for an eleven year old.

The funeral was quick. I didn't want it to be lingering, not that I had much of a choice in the matter. Afterwards, Amelia and I bid our goodbyes and went back to her apartment in London, where she tried to get me to eat and I decided to go running instead. I was excused from classes for the remainder of the year and spent all of my summer running and flying on my broomstick.

* * *

"I see you've brought a broom this year," Dom commented as we lounged on her bed in our dormitories the first night of term.

I nodded, tossing a jelly bean in my mouth. "Amelia got it for me last Christmas."

Dom's eyes lit up. "So does that mean you're going to try out this year?"

I nodded. "Amelia says physical exertion will do me good. Getting rid of stress and all that."

Dom nodded solemnly. "It's good to focus on something when you're grieving. Other than the grieving, of course."

I sent her a small smile.

"What position will you try out for?"

"What's open this year?" I asked curiously.

"Hm, let's see. Donald and Hutt are gone this year and I know Bonnie said she wasn't going to play this term. Something about grades and her parents. So, that should leave one chaser position, one beater position, and seeker."

I processed the news, chewing my candy slowly. "Seeker then, probably."

Dom clapped her hands. "You'd be perfect! You're so tiny. The smaller ones are always the best at it."

I sent her a mock glare for calling me small and she winked back at me. I suddenly realized just how pretty my best friend was. She had a wide smile and big blue eyes and long, wavy strawberry blonde hair. She had grown even more over the summer and was spouting curves that I could only hope for.

"You know, Dom. You're really pretty," I told her bluntly.

Dom sent me a wicked look. "Like looking at girls, do you, Newt?"

I scowled at her. "I take it back. You're a toad."

Dom shrieked in anger and threw a pillow at my face. "You bitch!"

We both froze at the name, neither used to using profanity. Seconds later, we burst into laughter. It was good to have my best friend back.

* * *

"What classes are you taking this term?" Jenny asked me as we sat down at breakfast the next morning. Lily Potter waved at me from further down the table and I waved back, grinning at the strange and exuberant girl.

I looked over my schedule as I nibbled on some toast. "The usual, as well as Care of Magical Creatures, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes."

"You would take more courses than necessary," Fred commented as he plopped down next to me and snatched my toast out of my hand.

I glowered at him before grabbing another piece. "Well, what all are you taking?" I asked him.

"Divination and Care of Magical Creatures," he said through bits of toasts.

I sent him a disgusted look at the bits of food flying from his gob. "You would take the easiest electives."

Fred sent me a goofy smile, complete with crumbs all over his face. "I'm here for the good company, love, not the homework."

I tried to hold back a smile, but nearly failed.

"So, Dom tells me you're trying out for the Quidditch team this year," Fred said.

"How have you already heard about this?" I asked, flabbergasted. "We only just had this conversation last night."

"We Weasley's have our ways," Fred replied, waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"Weasley is our king!" Tate Thorin cried, falling into the seat across from Fred and next to Jenny.

Fred grinned and high fived Tate, who then turned to Jenny with a cheeky nod and a grin. "Wotcher, Finnegan."

Jenny flushed before glaring at the blonde boy. "What do you want, Thorin?"

Tate didn't reply, except with a wider grin, before turning to the table to fill his plate with breakfast.

Fred and I swapped grins before digging back into our breakfast.

"So, what position were you thinking?" Fred continued.

"Seeker, I suppose," I replied with a shrug.

"Makes sense. You're certainly small enough," a new voice interrupted as they sat down next to me.

I looked over to James, who snatched a piece of bacon off of my plate.

"What is it with everyone stealing my food?" I complained, pulling my plate away from James, only to have Fred take the rest of my bacon. I groaned.

"It's just so much more delicious when it's been scavenged from someone else, dearest Newtie," Fred replied, shoving my bacon in his greedy gob.

I glared at him before pushing my plate entirely towards him and grabbing my things.

"Have it all then, you glutton," I said, climbing off the bench.

"Where are you going?" James asked, a strange look on his face.

"Ancient Runes," I replied, before stalking away.

* * *

"Alright, you lot, listen up," Christopher McLaggen called out to all us Quidditch hopefuls as we talked amongst ourselves on the field. McLaggen was the captain this year, much to the displeasure of Dom, who said he was an even bigger prat than James.

"This is how tryouts are going to work. After five laps around the pitch, to weed out the good flyers and the bad, I'm going to break you off into groups depending on what position you're trying out for. As you should already know, we have three positions open: chaser, beater, and seeker. Those trying out for chaser will be going with Potter and girl Weasley. Beater hopefuls with boy Weasley and Seekers with me. I will be overseeing each act, so don't think I won't be watching. We've got a fairly young team this year, so only the best will be chosen. Also, if you want to be on this team, you better expect to work your arses off. I'm not losing the Cup this year. We're going to kick arse, even with a baby team. Now, kick off!"

I mounted my broom and shot quickly into the air, alongside the majority of my fellow hopefuls. There were about six students who couldn't seem to get their broom to work and had to walk off the field at the behest of McLaggen.

After our five laps, McLaggen called us back down and sent two people off the field before turning to the rest of us.

"Now, split up for position tryouts."

Several other students and I moved towards McLaggen, while the vast majority of those trying out moved over to James, Dom, and Fred.

McLaggen was sort of impressive standing in his Quidditch gear, but his smug smirk was off-putting, especially when his gaze landed on me and his smirk widened.

"If you're over here, then that means you want to play seeker," he started.

I had to struggle to resist saying 'no shit.'

"The seeker is the most important player on the team. They determine when the game ends and, more importantly, who wins. That being said, none of you are good enough to be my seeker."

I felt indignation burn up my spine at his declaration. I felt a scowl creep onto my face and had to keep myself from glaring heatedly at the captain.

"Not yet, at least," he continued. "I'm going to pick the person with the most potential to carry Gryffindor to the Quidditch Cup this year. This is how I'm going to do it. I'm going to blindfold each of you and release the Snitch."

I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"The person to catch the Snitch blindfolded will become Gryffindor's seeker."

I was completely flabbergasted.

"That's completely mental," a boy next to me cried. "We could get hurt!"

"You can always get hurt in Quidditch," McLaggen bit back. "If you're too afraid, then you aren't meant to be on the team. Plain and simple."

"Forget this," the boy growled before stomping off the field. That left me, a fifth year girl, and a seventh year boy.

McLaggen turned back to us with a smirk. "And so the number falls. If anyone else has any objections, you are welcome to join Peters."

None of us moved and McLaggen's smug face returned. "Great! Now, for the blindfolds." He pulled out his wand and muttered an incantation and my sight went completely black. "The person with natural seeking talents shouldn't have trouble catching the snitch. Now, I'm going to release the snitch and when I said go, you may attempt to find and catch it."

With my vision darkened, my other senses were heightened. I could hear more clearly and my skin tingled as a soft fluttering sensation moved across my cheek. I recognized the sensation immediately. It was magic. I could feel the presence of magic in something near me. I realized a second later that I was feeling the magic within the snitch. I honed my senses in on the sensation and realized I could follow its movements, albeit very faintly. After a moment, the sensation disappeared and I frowned.

"Go!" McLaggen shouted and I mounted my broom and shot up into the sky as fast as possible. I stopped a few seconds later and hovered, reaching my senses out in an attempt to feel for the snitch. Suddenly, a thicker magic presence began nearing me quickly. I realized that this must have been one of the other players. I moved slightly backwards so as to avoid being collided into and felt the breeze of the player blow by just a moment later. The sensation faded several moments later and I knew I was only in the air. I spent a minute floating in the air, seeking out a magical presence, before deciding to move around. I shot forward for several yards before turning upwards yet again. I continued moving carefully around the field, moving when I recognized the presence of something heavily magical and desperately searching for the fluttering magical sensation I had experienced earlier.

It must have been twenty or so minutes into the exercise when I felt the fluttering again. It was to my right and was approaching me rapidly. I stayed still, hoping not to frighten it away. I heard the soft humming of the snitch's wings as it gravitated towards me. As tentatively as possible, I reached my hand up towards the snitch, intending to grab it. Before I reached fully out, it fluttered into my hand and I felt the wings retract. My vision immediately returned to me and I had to blink rapidly several times to adjust to the light swarming into my eyes.

There, resting in my hand, was the delicate golden ball. I felt a surge of excitement and pride rush through me at the sight of it in my right hand. It took me a few more moments before I looked around and realized I was really high up. All of the players below me looked like little dancing specks. I descended slowly, gripping the snitch tightly in my hand. McLaggen caught sight of me when I was halfway down and blew on a whistle hanging around his neck. The other two seekers made it back to McLaggen around the same time I did, but I noticed they still had a black smoke like blindfold wrapped around their eyes.

McLaggen waved his wand and the blindfolds disappeared from their eyes.

"Styles caught the snitch," he explained. "You two may leave the pitch."

They did so, sending me jealous glares. McLaggen turned to me, his smirk back on his face.

"Congratulations, Styles. You've made the team."

I grinned happily.

"Now, for the rest of tryouts, you're going to continue the exercise."

He grabbed the snitch from my hands and suddenly my sight was blinded again.

"Good luck," he said, before I heard him walking off.

I scowled.

* * *

"I think this will be good for you," Amelia said to me. "I know you're still running every morning, but adding Quidditch to your regime will work off all the excess energy left over."

I nodded in agreement, before smiling widely. "I'm very excited."

Amelia smiled proudly at me. "You should be. Making the team is an accomplishment."

We were quiet for a few moments before Amelia broke the silence.

"I think it's time that we started to test your powers," she said calmly.

My heart stuttered in my chest and my breathing hitched. I looked at her like she was crazy. "I thought you were teaching me to control it, not to aggravate it?"

Amelia smiled softly at me. "You can't fully control it if you don't fully comprehend it. Sure, you can control it now, but who's to say that it won't become more difficult as you get older? We've already seen that happen over the past two years. You especially need to learn what you are capable of in times of extreme emotional turmoil. If we can understand this, we can control it."

I frowned deeply. "I could hurt someone."

Amelia shook her head. "The Headmistress has given us permission to leave the grounds during these sessions. I have already spoken with Mr. Potter. He has a facility that we can use. He says is indestructible and impenetrable. No one will get hurt."

"What about you?" I asked. "You could get hurt."

Amelia shook her head. "I'll be fine. I'm a trained Auror. I think I can handle you." She sent me a challenging smirk.

"I don't want to hurt anyone," I said quietly.

I felt her hand fall onto my shoulder and looked away from my knees to see her watching me kindly. "You won't. I'm going to make sure of it."

* * *

The morning of my first Quidditch game, my stomach was in knots. We were playing Slytherin, whose new seeker was none other than Albus Potter. James was more determined than ever for us to beat Slytherin.

"You better catch it before him, Styles," James growled at me sometime during the week leading up to the game.

I narrowed my eyes at the auburn-eyed boy. "Or what, Potter?"

"I'll never live it down. I won't lose to my baby brother."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."

"You've not seen how good he is. I've been watching him play for years. He's as good as Dad was."

"Well, our dear Newt is better," Fred had interrupted, rescuing me from the overbearing boy.

James sent Fred a skeptical look before turning to me. "I guess we will see then, won't we?"

Potter's words echoed through my head that morning as I sat alongside my fellow team members at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. Was I good enough?

"You better eat, Newt," Dom said. "Don't want you passing out on the pitch, eh?"

I paled at the thought.

"Our little Newt is going to be just fine," Fred defended, throwing an arm over my shoulder. "But she's right, dearest Newtie. You need your energy."

I grabbed a piece of toast and buttered it, before shoving it in my mouth and chewing slowly. Dom shot me a mildly disgusting look, to which I responded with a goofy face. She smiled before turning back to her own breakfast.

"Really, though, Newt," Fred continued. "Don't worry about it. You're brilliant."

"Fred's right," McLaggen cut in from his seat across the table next to Dom. "You're bloody brilliant. I've never seen anyone with as much natural talent as you. Except for maybe Potter the younger."

My nerves lit up again, especially after catching eyes with James, who was watching me as he conversed with the new chaser, a fifth year girl named Leslie Cummings. She was brilliant on a broom. Across from her sat the other player to join the team this year, Noah Harding, one of James's trio of best friends. He, Tate, Noah, and Fred were always together and always causing some sort of mischief. At least, they all were if Fred wasn't with me. Aside from Dom, Fred was still my best friend. He and Dom didn't really get along all that well, so whenever we got the opportunity to hang out, it usually wasn't with her.

I briefly wondered for a moment if Tate felt left out, seeing as he was the only one of the four of them not on the team. But then I remembered a conversation from last year where Tate admitted that he had a debilitating fear of heights. He wouldn't even sit in the stands for Quidditch games. He had to watch from the ground, at the edge of the pitch.

I turned away from James and sent McLaggen a somewhat grateful look. "At least everyone seems to think we're an even match. It will make for an interesting game."

"Here, here!" Fred shouted out beside me.

McLaggen smirked before downing the rest of his pumpkin juice and standing up.

"Come on, lions. Let's head down to the pitch," he commanded loudly.

Everyone quickly finished eating what they had in their hands and stood up, following behind our captain. Cheers arose from the Gryffindor table as we began to walk away and I felt myself smile as my fellow housemates wished me luck.

We were already dressed in our uniforms, so when we reached the locker rooms, we all gathered around and listened to McLaggen lecture us for a solid thirty minutes on our techniques and weaknesses. By the time he was finished, we could here the roaring of the crowd, which had already gathered in the stands.

"They'll be calling us soon," McLaggen announced. "Let's win this, shall we? Lions on three. One, two, LIONS!"

We all cried alongside our captain and moved to stand in position behind him. We heard Amy Grimm announce the Slytherin team, and then suddenly we were being called.

"And now for the Gryffindor team! Headed by Captain Chris McLaggen, the only seventh year on them team. His fellow chasers James Potter and Leslie Cummings. Beaters Fred Weasley and Noah Harding. Keeper Dominique Weasley and brand new seeker, Newt Styles! Keep in mind, almost half of the team this year consists of new members. Don't be surprised if Gryffindor just can't keep up this year," Grimm shouted before being interrupted by McGonagall. "Ow! Fine, Professor."

Amy Grimm was a Slytherin, hence the bias.

Madame Hawkins, the flying instructor and Quidditch referee, stood in the center of the field with the quaffle. She held it tightly in her hands as our team and Slytherin's team circled around her.

"No funny business, you hear? I want a proper game," she threatened, before blowing her whistle and tossing the quaffle into the air.

"And the game is on!" Grimm shouted. "Nott of Slytherin takes possession of the quaffle and moves towards Gryffindor's goals. Passes to Hutchinson. Intercepted by Potter!"

I moved above the pitch and sat carefully on my broom as the chasers played below me. I noticed Al moving slowly around the pitch, his eyes peeled for the snitch. I swept my eyes over the pitch, checking for the little golden ball, but found nothing. It was too early to catch anyway. If we wanted the Cup this year, we need to win by at least 250 points.

I moved further up, until I was above Al. I noticed him look up at me and move slightly higher, but still remaining closer to the pitch. Gryffindor ended up scoring three goals before Slytherin even made one. I could see Dom cursing as the quaffle flew through the far left hoop, Scorpius having faked to the right and confusing her.

I quickly blocked out the game and flew around the pitch a few times. Gryffindor scored five more times and Slytherin four before I started to genuinely search for the snitch.

"It's being rather sneaky today," a voice said close to me. I looked over my shoulder to Al who was searching around the pitch. "I haven't even caught a glimpse."

I nodded in agreement and looked around with him. Suddenly, Al dipped into a steep dive beside me, plummeting towards the ground as fast as possible. My immediate reaction was to follow him, but a familiar fluttering sensation above me had me pause.

"POTTER HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH!" Grimm shouted happily. "Styles must be too dense to follow. What's she doing up there?"

I ignored the commentator and looked up.

"STYLES!" McLaggen shouted from across the pitch. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

The fluttering got closer and I caught a flash of something gold moving above me. I shot upwards and the sensation increased as I closed in on the ball. It started flying away as I approached it.

"What…"Grimm hesitated. "It looks like Potter has pulled a Wronski Feint, but it failed. Styles has spotted the snitch and is giving chase. POTTER! GO AFTER HER!"

I closed in on the snitch just as it suddenly changed directions and started flying directly towards the ground. I dipped immediately into a ninety degree dive, clutching my broom as desperately as possible. I noticed a figure in green flying towards me from the opposite side of the pitch. I guess Al finally decided to join in the chase.

The snitch was staying steadily a foot away from me. I couldn't seem to speed up fast enough and Al was catching up quickly. My arm just wasn't long enough to reach it. I relaxed my grip on my broomstick and allowed myself to slide forward onto my broom. I immediately felt most of my control slip, but it put me within perfect snatching distance. I scooped the golden ball up in my right hand and turned my attention to my predicament.

"STYLES HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!" Grimm shouted. "Gryffindor wins 260-90! Wait…Styles isn't slowing down. STYLES HAS LOST CONTROL OF HER BROOM AND IS PLUMMETING TOWARDS THE GROUND!"

I was falling at a rapid pace towards the ground without full control over my broomstick. I followed my instincts, which had me flipping over onto my back and allowing my broom to fall back into place before grasping it tightly and twirling back around, pulling out of my dive just before I collided with the ground. I shot back upwards in a spin before pulling my broom parallel to the ground and landing smoothly on the ground.

There was a sudden roaring from the stands. Everyone must have gone silent at my fall, but having seen my recovery, erupted into an absolutely wild applause.

"DID YOU SEE THAT? TELL ME EVERYONE SAW THAT! THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST SPECTACULAR RECOVERIES I HAVE EVER SEEN ON A BROOM!" Grimm shouted. "Styles is not bad for a lion!"

I clutched the snitch tightly in my hands as a smile crawled across my face and my teammates flew towards me, whooping and making a ruckus. Fred was the first to reach me and pounced on me, nearly squeezing me to death.

"That was bloody brilliant Newt!" he shouted in my ear.

Dom was the second and nearly tackled Fred to get to me. She screamed about how amazing I was in my ear as she hugged me. McLaggen twirled me around and all of the other teammates patted me on the back and told me how amazing I had been.

"I didn't know you could fly like that," James said to me once everyone had pulled away and we were walking to the locker rooms. His hair was messier than usual, from the flying no doubt. I realized in that moment that James was actually rather handsome. I'd always know that, I suppose. But I never recognized the fact. His eyes and hair were nearly the same color, which was so unique that it was captivating. I understood in that moment why he had so many admirers.

"I didn't either," I admitted. "I thought I was going to die."

"So did I," he said quietly. He patted my back, his hand lingering longer than expected. "You were brilliant. We're going to win the Cup this year for sure. Never thought I'd see the day where my brother's Wronski Feint failed to fool someone."

I smiled at him and moved towards the locker rooms. I took my time getting changed out of my uniforms. Dom had informed me that a few of the older students were throwing a celebratory party in the Gryffindor common room. All of the other members of the team had run off immediately. I stayed behind though. I had a headache and wasn't really looking forward to the crowd.

When I finally exited the locker rooms, someone was waiting for me outside. The slightly smaller figure approached me and I realized it was Al.

"Hey Al," I greeted. "Good game."

He grinned at me. "I'll say. I've never had someone call me on my Feint before."

I shrugged. "I was about to follow you, but I saw the snitch a second before. It was luck."

"Nah. That was talent. That pull at the end of your dive was spectacular."

I felt my cheeks heat up at the praise and tried to hold back my smile, failing. "Thanks. That means a lot coming from you. I can't tell you how many time I heard that you were going to catch the snitch before me."

Al shrugged, sending me a cheeky grin that reminded me very much of his brother. "I'm very good."

"So I've heard."

"Why are you still out here? I figured you'd be off celebrating your win," he said.

"I'm not in much of a party mood. I've got a headache," I explained.

"Ah. Fancy a walk then?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

I followed Al towards the Great Lake and we walked in silence for several minutes before conversation started flowing between us. Al was very different from his brother. He was much less competitive and not nearly as obsessed with Quidditch as his brother. Though they had similar features, the same nose, jaw, etc, their eyes and hair were completely different. Albus had midnight black hair with vibrant green eyes. Al had dimples when he smiled but James had fuller, poutier lips. Al was also much shier than James, but I could sometimes detect that cocky, mischievous trait his brother was known for.

"Why do you play if you don't love the game?" I asked him.

"I'm good at it," he explained. "It takes up some of my time. It's fun, but I'm not crazy about the sport. I'd rather play it than watch it, but I'm not going to try and get tickets to the World Cup or anything, you know?"

I nodded. "I understand. I suppose I'm the same way. I just needed something to do. Something to distract myself with and expel some energy."

We continued talking and walking along the lakeshore for a while before we headed back to the castle. Al walked me to the Gryffindor common room like a proper gentlemen.

"Are you going to come in and join the party?" I asked him.

He contemplated it for a moment. "I think Scorpius mentioned something about going to the party. I'll just look around and see if he's there."

I nodded and gave the Fat Lady the password. Al and I walked through the archway and were greeted by the sounds of music, laughter, and chatting. The party was still going.

"NEWT!" I heard someone shout my name just before a body plowed into me. The strawberry blonde face that caught in my mouth and eyes alerted me to the fact that it was my best friend. "Where have you been? We've been partying without you but it's not been the same without you! What are you doing with Al? OH MY GOD! Did you snog my baby cousin?!"

I could immediately tell Dom had managed to sneak some alcohol off of one of the older students in the room. She was intoxicated.

"No I did not snog your cousin, Dom," I said aghast. "I had a headache and didn't feel like coming here immediately. Al walked with me."

Dom looked between me and Al, whose face was bright red from embarrassment. She narrowed her eyes before becoming distracted. "Newt, Andrew Davies built the Astronomy Tower out of bottles. You have to see it!" she said before dragging me behind her.

I looked over my shoulder at Al, who shrugged and moved through the room, possibly to find Scorpius.

The tower wasn't all that impressive and it really didn't even look like a tower at all. I suppose to drunk people it would.

"NEWTIE! My dearest Newtie!" Fred shouted before pushing through people to grab me. I noticed James right behind him with a goofy, possibly drunken smile. "It's our savior!" he cried to the room. Why were all of my friends drunk? I shook my head at the thought. "Where have you been, light of my life?"

"Yes, lovely Newt," James said, pulling me away from Fred and tossing his arm over my shoulder. He towered over me. "Where have you been? We've missed you!"

"She was with Al!" Dom shouted, sending the boys a mischievous look. "Probably snogging. Al's been in love with her for at least a year now."

I felt James tense up beside me as Fred sent me an aghast look. I glared at Dom.

"Newt!" Fred cried.

"I told you we weren't snogging!" I shouted at Dom.

Dom smirked at me. "Why else would you be out with a boy at night, missing out on your own party?"

James pulled his arm away from my shoulder and took a step away from me.

"I told you I had a headache and didn't feel like coming here and Al was there and offered to take a walk with me! Nothing happened. Plus, he's too young."

"He's only a year below us," Dom pointed out.

"I didn't snog Albus Potter!" I shouted.

"I heard my name and snog in a sentence," the person in question said, sidling up beside his brother. He smirked at me. "Were you looking for me Newtie?"

I glared at the green-eyed boy and huffed. "You're all insufferable."

I noticed James glare down at his brother before stalking away. Fred started laughing loudly at that point, nearly falling over. Al and Dom joined in and I scowled at all of them.

"I hate all of you," I muttered, following in James's footsteps and stalking away. I navigated through the party, pushing past people and trying to make my way to my dormitory. Just as I had reached the stairs, I recognized a head of dark reddish brown hair leaning against a corner wall. I started to move towards James when I realized he wasn't alone. There was a pretty blonde girl leaning against the wall in front of him. He was snogging the daylights out of her. I felt a strange pang in my stomach at the sight and looked away. I quickly made my way to my dorm and fell asleep as soon as I could.

* * *

"How have you been, Newt?" Harry Potter asked me when I was visiting the ministry for training lessons with Amelia three weeks after my first Quidditch victory.

I smiled at him. "I've been good."

"I've heard that you are quite the Quidditch star," he commented with a knowing grin.

I blushed and shifted my weight on my feet. "I'm okay."

"Not according to my son," he continued. My heart clenched slightly at the thought of James talking about me to his father. "Al told me all about how you bested him in the Gryffindor Slytherin game."

My heart fell slightly at the realization that it was Al, not James, who had spoken of me to his father. James had been acting strangely around me since the victory party after the game. He'd been much more distant and sarcastic around me, not friendly as he had become in the weeks leading up to the game. He was constantly making snide remarks about me whenever he could and ignoring me at random times. He'd also had a new girlfriend every few days. Dom and Rose complained about his behavior constantly. Even Roxy and Molly had mentioned how irritated they were with their cousin when I had spoken to each of them briefly. Fred hadn't had much to say when I asked him about what was up with James, other than he was just being typical James. I'd accepted the fact that he would eventually stop acting like a prat and until then, I wouldn't let his attitude bother me. James was always hot or cold, and never in between. I'd known that since I had first met him on the train all those years ago.

"It was just luck," I brushed off. "I was just above to follow his dive when I caught sight of the snitch." I still hadn't told anyone that I could recognize the magic within the little golden ball, just as I could recognize magic in just about anything if I concentrated hard enough. Amelia knew that I could recognize individual people's magic, but not that I could recognize it in objects. I was rather embarrassed by my new skill, because it felt like cheating when I was in the air. And I didn't want to have to quit Quidditch. It felt nice to be part of something so connected like that. It distracted me and helped me work off energy that could cause problems.

Mr. Potter just grinned at me and shook his head before turning to Amelia. "The facilities are just this way. I'll escort you both."

We walked down a few hallways before coming across a huge door that was as tall as it was wide. Mr. Potter walked over to it and pulled out his wand, waving the door upwards.

"This chamber was initially built for the Department of Mysteries," he explained. "I can't tell you what they were using it for, mostly because I don't even know. But, whatever it was for, it's built with enough magic to resist even the most destructive forces." He hesitated for a moment, casting me a sad look, before leading us through the doors. "I think this should suit you."

The room was massive. It must have had an extreme extension charm attached to it. The ceilings were so high that it seemed as though you could fit skyscrapers into the room. The room was so big that I couldn't even see the wall opposite the door.

Mr. Potter waved his wand and the lights to the room flashed on in a circular area around where we were standing.

"The lights will turn on as you move through the room and need them," he explained. "You'll never be in the dark."

I grinned humorlessly at the added meaning to his words. I was always in the dark when it came to understanding my powers.

"Thank you, Harry," Amelia said next to me. "This is perfect."

I noticed Mr. Potter nod out of the corner of my eye and then turn to me. His brow furrowed slightly in thought before his expression evened out and he smiled softly at me. "If you need anything, anything at all, just send your Patronus and I'll be here."

I looked at him in confusion.

He looked briefly over at Amelia before nodding, a slightly bashful look on his face. "I forget sometimes that students aren't taught the Patronus charm until later in their schooling," he admitted.

"Didn't you learn when you were in third year?" I asked him.

He sent me a somewhat surprised look, nodding. "Yes. I, uh, had trouble with dementors. Well, I didn't like them."

"Who does?" Amelia joked next to me.

Mr. Potter sent her a crooked smile before turning back to me.

"Well, if either of you need help, Amelia, just send me a Patronus."

"How do you send a Patronus for help?" I asked curiously.

"Uh," Mr. Potter said, scratching his head. "Well, you cast the Patronus and then just tell it what to do. Albus Dumbledore came up with the idea."

I smiled curiously. "Can I see?" I asked.

Mr. Potter smiled and exchanged amused looks with Amelia. He shrugged and pulled out his wand.

"Expecto Patronum!" he shouted.

A bright light burst from his wand before dissolving into the shape of a stag. I grinned gleefully at the cloudy object as it danced around me for a moment before returning to Mr. Potter, who looked at the object and told it to tell me hello. The stag bounded away from the messy haired man and towards me, where it pranced around me and repeatedly said 'hello' in Mr. Potter's voice. It was very endearing to watch. It was almost as though the stag wanted me to play with it. I moved backwards slightly and the stag darted towards me playfully before running off towards Mr. Potter, running around him before returning to me.

I smiled widely and looked up at Mr. Potter who was watching me with a soft look. He exchanged another glance with Amelia. "Well, I'll be off then. Just let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks again, Harry," Amelia said.

Mr. Potter left the room and the Patronus evaporated as soon as the door closed behind him.

"Come on Newt," Amelia said. "Let's test those powers of yours."

Our lessons continued on through the remainder of the term and well into the Christmas holidays. I started testing them more and more, discovering new things I could do and how to control my outbursts. I could bring small things back from the dead, such as wilted flowers and recently deceased bugs and frogs. It took a lot of energy out of me, but I was still able to do it. I was also able to produce food from anything. Amelia did some more research into ancient magic, but had yet to turn up anything of use that we didn't already know. I was still able to perform wandless and non-verbal magic, but I was able to control my magic from randomly manifesting at my thoughts or words.

My classes continued as usual, with me still being in the top of the class. Surprisingly enough, though, James's grades started to fall and he was no longer one of the top students in our classes. He quit trying. He started paying more attention to pranking, snogging girls, and bullying younger students. He turned into a person I just couldn't stand.

It didn't help that I was the subject of a lot of his pranks. One week, he just randomly hit me with a Bat Bogey Hex. I had to spend the afternoon in the Hospital Wing having Madam Yancy reverse the curse. James spent a week in detention. Then, a few weeks later, he stole all of my knickers and made a banner out of them and hung it in the Great Hall. On the Quidditch pitch, he would run into me with his broom or 'accidentally' hit me with the quaffle.

I wasn't the only one who was receiving the brunt of James's aggression. Any Slytherin that happened to cross him a certain way received similar treatment as I did. His behavior became so bad that he spent more time in detention than out of it. I had no idea what was up with him. Neither did Fred, apparently, who quit hanging out with his best guy friend and started spending more time with me. The more time Fred spent with me, the less James pranked me and the more he just ignored me, which was fine by me. Even Lily and Al told me they couldn't stand to be around their brother. It was disheartening, and I grew to hate the auburn-eyed boy.

Despite the obvious tension between James and I, quidditch went on as usual. In March, we won the game against Hufflepuff and beat out Ravenclaw in May. We ended up winning the Quidditch Cup by 180 points, beating the record held for the past few decades leading up to that year.


	8. Fourth Year Perspectives

_Sorry for the wait! I've been pretty busy with my business. Since it's been a while, I'll go ahead and put up two chapters today. So, yay! Both are pretty short though, and, for that, I also apologize. But, the final chapters of this story will be pretty lengthy. Just look forward to those! Things get a bit crazy in Newt's final two years._

* * *

James Sirius Potter

He's impressed by how she handles herself at the funeral. If it were him, he'd be screaming, raging, cursing the gods. Though, she didn't seem as close to her family as he is to his. But either way, it must be the worst pain in the world to lose your family.

It doesn't slip his notice that she's brought a broom with her this year. It's lounging on the top shelf of the compartment she, Jenny, and Dom are sitting in when he and his friends decide to join them. He sits next to her and doesn't miss the way she tenses up at his sudden presence. Her neck flushes prettily and he can't control the smirk from crawling across his face at realizing he affects her, even if she doesn't realize it yet.

At the feast, he makes sure to sit across from her so that she has no choice but to notice him. He talks loudly and makes ridiculous jokes that have everyone around him, including her, laughing. He feels like he's glowing by the end of dinner. He's in his element here.

He's not surprised when she tries out for the quidditch team and is completely brilliant. He's never seen anyone look so natural on a broom before, except maybe himself or his brother. He can't keep his eyes from darting over to her throughout the tryouts. The blindfold around her eyes worries him, but he knows McLaggen won't let one of his hopefuls get too badly hurt. She catches the snitch and he has to force himself not to cheer for her. He catches eyes with Fred, who seems equally excited, and Dom, who glances smugly back at him. He rolls his eyes at his eccentric cousin and returns to guiding the tryouts, but his mind stays on the new seeker of his team.

He notices one morning when he's running around the lake that she runs in the morning too. He doesn't try to catch up with her though. He just lets her be. He feels like a stalker running behind her several yards, but he was there first. Honestly.

He determines one morning at breakfast that she has the most crazy, stunning, beautiful eyes he's ever seen and none will ever compare. The thought causes him to flush and leave the table in a huff, earning him strange looks from his family and friends. He can practically feel the burn of her silver gaze as he's storming away.

He's so angry with himself that he likes her so much. He doesn't understand why he can't just like someone else. He's too young to be committed to one bird. He needs a distraction, but the thought of being with any other girl just doesn't feel right. He can't help but feel slightly bitter towards Newt for captivating everything in him. This bitterness is probably why he taunts her before their first game, telling her she wasn't as good at being a seeker as his brother. He eats his words when she isn't fooled by Al's Wronski and instead catches the snitch and pulls out of one of the most spectacular dives he's ever seen. He's stunned, honestly, which isn't an unusual feeling when it comes to her.

He congratulates her at the end of the game. She's so brilliantly pretty in that moment; her silver eyes wide as she stares up at him, her cheeks flushed and hair mussed. The contrast between the pink in her cheeks, the dark color of her hair, and the silver in her eyes nearly leaves James breathless. And she's staring right back at him, her brow slightly furrowed, lips barely parted. She tilts her head to the side only a minute amount, but it's the cutest thing James has ever seen. He realizes belatedly that she's checking him out.

Her cheeks flush darker when she finally responds to him. He touches her shoulder and has to fight for his hand to let go. It lingers longer than it should, longer than is proper, but he can't help it. He wants to touch her so badly.

He leaves quickly, tearing himself away from her. He needs a drink or three. Then, maybe, he'll have enough courage to do something about these stupid feelings.

Of course, that doesn't end up happening. He finds out from Dom that Newt and his brother are snogging. He sees red. He can't even look at her or him. He can't handle this sharp, mind-numbing rejection. It feels like betrayal. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realizes that there may be some merit in Newt's denial of the liaison, but he's been expecting her to hurt him in some way. So, he accepts this hurt and decides to get rid of it in the form of a leggy blonde whose name he doesn't know.

He spends the rest of the year snogging as many girls as he can and lashing out at his brother and Newt and those that they surround themselves with. He's so full of anger and hurt that he doesn't realize how petty he's being over something that never happened. He lets this false betrayal fester away inside him until he can't even think of Newt without wanting to hit something. It doesn't help that he catches glimpses of silver every time he passes her and the color sends his heart beating rapidly in his chest.


	9. Chapter Five: Fifth Year

_Second update today! Sorry it's so short, but the next few chapters are incredibly long. Just wait! You'll love them._

* * *

Amelia and I spent that summer in Egypt, looking further into the history of ancient magic. It was one of the most exciting times of my life. I thought about Rance often that summer. I wondered if he would be proud of me for all I had accomplished in the two years since he had left. I couldn't help but think back to the pocket watch I gave him on a regular basis. Could he see it glowing wherever in the world he was?

I found myself becoming angrier and angrier that summer. I was angry at my mother for having been so afraid of me. I was angry at my step-father for having convinced her to be afraid of me. I was mad at Rance for having left me. I was mad at whoever had murdered my parents. The results from the autopsies had come back months before, releasing information that led the Ministry to believe my family had been murdered by magic.

I was mad at the Ministry for involving themselves so steadily in my circumstances. I was mad at Amelia for random, silly things. I was mad at Mr. Potter for caring so much and mad at his son for being a right prick to me all the time. I was mad at his youngest son for liking me. I was mad at Dom for writing me all summer about her new boyfriend. I was mad a Fred for not writing to me at all. I was even mad that McGonagall had made me a prefect. But mostly, I was mad at myself. I was mad that I was angry all the time and mad that I had a power that most did not. I hated that I was different and that it gave me an advantage that none of my friends or peers could understand. I couldn't help but think about how ordinary I would be if only I didn't have the powers I did.

Amelia told me constantly that it was okay for me to be angry. She said it was understandable and expected of someone who had gone through what I had to be angry. But my anger did nothing for me. It rotted me from the inside. It made me bitter and resentful. It made me desperate to just disappear. That anger burned away inside of me for months, which led to a very lonely year when I entered my fifth year at Hogwarts.

The first person I pushed away was Fred. When I saw him for the first time on the Hogwarts express, I was cold to him. He apologized for having not written me profusely on the train. He explained that he had been busy with all sorts of family things and knew I was in Egypt and probably wouldn't write back anyway. I didn't forgive him. In fact, I downright ignored him. He drifted back to James by November and quit talking to me entirely. I would always catch his worried glances throughout the term though.

The second person to give up on me was Dom. I was mopey and rude and an all around terrible friend. I snapped at her and ignored her when she would try to talk about her own problems. She had her new boyfriend, Kylan Thames. She didn't need me. She finally realized that by Christmas.

Albus got sick of me too. He would try to talk to me often, but I always shut him down. In fact, I think the final straw was me telling him I would never be interested in him because he wasn't interesting. He started sending me glares every time he saw me after that.

James just stayed away from me altogether. I didn't know if he was reveling in my loneliness. He didn't prank me any that year. I don't think I would have cared either way. He was wrapped up in quidditch, being the captain this year. He didn't really say anything when I told him I wasn't going to play that year; just stared at me until I turned and walked away.

The rest of the school started avoiding me after an incident in Defense Against the Dark Arts in February that sent Amelia, the professor, to the Hospital Wing. She called on me to perform a mock duel with her, highlighting defensive techniques to avoid being hit with an offensive curse.

It would have been fine, except that she asked me to attack her with offensive spells and my magic had been all over the place since I had been overtaken by my anger and depression. She asked me to attack her with a stunning spell. I had barely whispered the spell and it tore through her shield charm and sent her crashing into the wall behind her, knocking her out immediately.

I had run to her, of course, and levitated her out of the room and to the hospital wing. But my fellow classmates had seen what had happened. The rumor mill was alight for weeks. Some thought I was practicing the dark arts. How else would a 5th year student overpower a teacher? Some thought I was cursed. Whatever they thought, it caused them all to avoid me.

Amelia forgave me immediately, of course. I was so distraught over having hurt her that I sunk into a further depression. She spent two nights in the hospital wing. It killed me inside to know that I had hurt her because of my lack of control. She made us increase our lessons in the indestructible room after that. Mr. Potter started joining us every time too.

It wasn't until May that I was finally snapped out of my inner turmoil. I had quit Quidditch at the beginning of term. I had quit pretty much anything that required me to be around people, except for classes. I didn't even eat in the Great Hall anymore.

I was sitting in the library, studying for my OWLs when the last person I was expecting approached my table.

"Why does my dad ask about you every time he writes to me?" James asked me as he stood before my table.

I froze and my breathing hitched. My heart beat slightly faster. My hand halted atop the paper I was writing on. I didn't look up at the boy in front of me. I gritted my teeth and calmed myself back down, returning to my work.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

James sat across from me and leaned over the table.

"How did you manage to knock out a trained Auror?" he asked.

I tensed up, still refusing to look at the boy across from me. I glared down at my paper and continued writing. "I don't know," I replied through gritted teeth.

"Bullshit," James declared.

I ignored him, even though something deeply spiteful inside of me wished desperately to give him a detention or take away points for his language.

"Why have you been hiding all year? You've never acted like this before; mean, hateful, rude. Not even after your parents died."

I stopped writing and glared up at James. "Why do you even care? I'm sure you've been enjoying this all year, haven't you?"

James glared back at me, looking a bit unsettled that I had actually looked at him. After a few moments of glaring, his expression softened slightly.

"What is going on Newt? Why are you acting like this?" he asked.

"Acting like what?" I snapped, throwing down my quill. "Like I'm pissed at everything? Because I am. I'm angry at absolutely everything. Are you happy? Will you leave me alone now?"

James looked taken aback by my honesty. "No," he answered.

I rolled my eyes and picked up my quill. "Just leave me alone, James."

"No," he declared. "I won't. You've been left alone long enough. It's time for you to stop acting like this; to stop being angry."

"Yes, well that sounds nice and all, but it doesn't exactly work that way."

"Then make it work that way. You need to get over it, Newt. I get it. Your family abandoned you and then they were murdered. You had to go live with a stranger and your friends have the closest and largest family pretty much in near existence, which reminds you of what exactly you don't have. It sucks. Get it over it."

I clenched my quill tightly. "You don't know the half of why I'm angry."

"Yes, well, no one really knows what's going on with you Newt, other than the issues with your family. We all know you've got secrets and no one has pressed you to tell them."

I was shocked at just how observant James was. My eyes widened before narrowing. I didn't reply.

"Dom is miserable," James explained. "She needs her best friend. Fred is pissy and depressed all the time. Heather, Jenny, and Avery are confused. They have no idea what's wrong. Al can't decide whether he hates you or loves you." James seemed to grit his teeth at that. "And I can't watch you push everyone you love away anymore."

"I hurt people," I admitted after a few moments. "You saw what happened with Professor Earnhardt. I can't always control magic. That's why my family abandoned me. They were scared of me. That's why your father is always asking about me. He's worried I'm going to hurt someone."

James sent me a bewildered look. "You're top of the class. How the hell do you have problems with controlling magic?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. But it's better this way. The less people around me, the less people get hurt."

James rolled his eyes. "That's the most barmy thing I've ever heard. Come on," he said, standing up. "You're going to go fix this."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You're going to fix all of this. Your friendships, relationships, whatever. You're fixing this."

I shook my head. "James, you don't…"

"Understand?" he interrupted. "I think you've made yourself clear and I've decided that you're completely mental. I've also decided that since your reasons for pushing away all of your friends are completely mental, then you have no choice but to grovel to each of them and beg their forgiveness."

He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me roughly from my seat at the table.

"Not only that, but I'm not having another rubbish quidditch season because you decided you could hurt someone with your magic. My brother hasn't shut his mouth about Slytherin winning the Cup. Bloody prick."

I didn't argue any further and let James drag me around the school to all of the people I had hurt. He didn't relent until I had apologized and begged each of my friends for forgiveness.

I didn't even get the words out before Dom had thrown herself on me, sobbing about how I was forgiven and that she loved me and hated that I was going through so much pain. I cried too and told her I'd never push her away again.

Fred was a little more reluctant to forgive me. He didn't understand how I could be so strong before and then become so hateful after being so accepting. I told him I would do whatever it took to make him see that I was sorry and that I desperately wanted his friendship back. He hugged me and told me he was always my friend, even when I was being such a tosser.

I had to get on my knees and plea to Al to forgive me for being such a bitch. I told him I didn't mean what I had said to him; that I was only taking out my anger on him. James huffed and stormed away when Al said he would only forgive me for a kiss. He was smirking as I blushed all the way to my toes. I leaned in and pecked him quickly before leaping back two feet. He forgave me with a smug grin and a wink. Scorpius laughed loudly the entire time as I practically ran away from the two of them.

My dormmates were quick to forgive me, saying that they understood once I explained to them the situation with my family. They were sympathetic towards me, saying they had no idea of what I was going through and just how very sorry they were that I had suffered alone.

I apologized to James last, thanking him for helping me. He shrugged it off, saying he didn't do it for me. But I knew he was partially lying.

I ended up getting perfect scores on my O. . Nobody was really surprised, including myself. But my guilt at keeping secrets from my friends started to eat away at me. What made me feel worse was that they knew I had secrets and didn't bother me to tell them. I knew I couldn't keep them forever. I couldn't keep hiding things from everyone I loved.


	10. Fifth Year Perspectives

_Another short one y'all, but also another double post day! Chapter six is soooo long. _

_Let me know what you think!_

* * *

Dominique Weasley

It's the most painful thing in the world to watch someone you love dearly battle with themself so fiercely it makes them withdraw from the world and not whisper a word of the struggle to you. All Dom could think about during her fifth year at Hogwarts was how badly she wished Newt would just talk to her; would just tell her why she was collapsing in on herself.

Newt had recovered from the loss of her family fairly well during their fourth year. But something must have snapped over the summer, because Newt was different when Dom met up with her on the train to school. She was snappish, angry, and rude. She had nothing kind to say and her previous air of positivity had vanished.

Dom could see past the anger the moment she realized her friend had changed. She could see the brokenness of her best friend and the agonizing confusion Newt was suffering from. Dom just couldn't see all the reasons for the evolution.

So, when Newt continued to desperately push her away, Dom stepped back from her friend. She gave her the space she demanded. But she didn't stop watching her. She kept an eye on her at all times and defended her fiercely when others said something negative about her mourning friend. Just because Newt had determined not to have anything to do with the people she loved most didn't mean Dom wouldn't protect her fiercely.

Dom sobbed relentlessly the day Newt blasted Professor Earnhardt into a wall and then proceeded to break down in front of the entire classroom before toting the professor off to the Hospital Wing. It was that day that Dom realized that Newt wasn't broken. She was shattered and Dom didn't know if the pieces of her best friend could ever be put back together.

She watched her more fiercely from then on, defended her more aggressively, and actively took measures to take care of her friend, without Newt ever catching on. She made sure Newt ate and, when she didn't, she'd tell Professor Earnhardt, who would insure the young witch ate enough. Dom made sure Newt was attending all of her classes and, when she would miss, she would immediately go to the professor of the class or the Headmistress. Dom made sure Madame Yancy always kept an eye on her, so that she never collapsed from exhaustion or had another mental break down.

Dom was a friend to Newt even when Newt thought she wasn't. So, when Newt was marched over to Dom by the arm one day by none other than James Potter and begged her for her forgiveness, Dom pulled Newt into her arms and sobbed, forgiving her instantly. She'd already forgiven her and would continue to do so for as long as Newt decided she needed to mourn. Because Dom was Newt's friend, whether she wanted her to be or not.

* * *

James Potter

James can't explain the feeling in his chest when he sees Newt sitting by herself at a table in the library looking more weary and broken than he's ever seen anyone look. He's supposed to hate her, he knows this. He's supposed to be glad she's suffering due to something that is only her own fault. But he can't be glad and he can't explain it to anyone, including himself.

He's seen her on and off all year looking angry and isolated. She didn't want anyone around her. At first, he had thought she was being an idiot and ignored her behavior. But then she quit the quidditch team and the season was a dreadful one. And then she quit talking to Fred and Dom, and James's cousins were suddenly miserable and awful company to keep. His brother even became angry with the pretty and angry witch.

James couldn't take it anymore. He was tired of seeing how effected everyone was over the girl he used to be infatuated with. He started watching her again, ignoring his previous decision to ignore everything about her. That was his mistake, he realizes as he's sitting in the library watching Newt as she studies. Because now his heart is aching and he's heartbroken at just how destroyed the silver-eyed girl is.

It's like he can't control himself when he marches over to her table and demands that she talk to him. Something else entirely is controlling his body and, oddly enough, he's okay with that. He's okay with it as long as it helps her; as long as it returns to him the silver-eyed girl who has held his heart since she first smiled at him.

He's shocked enough that she complies with him; that she lets him take her hand and drag her all over the castle to apologize to the people she's wronged. He supposes he has more effect on her than he previously thought. The idea makes him smile and it fills him with ridiculous glee and hope.

When, at the end of the day, she finally turns to him and apologizes, thanks him, hugs him, and kisses him on the cheek, he's as red as a Weasley can get and just as smitten with her as he used to be. He returns to his dormitory later that night to sleep and he lies awake thinking of her dark hair, her sad expression, her smile, her laugh, and her eyes, and he sighs, because he knows he'll always be gone when it comes to her.


	11. Chapter Six: Sixth Year

_Longest chapter yet! We've got three chapters left after this one!_

_Let me know what you think!_

* * *

Chapter Six: Sixth Year

Dom invited me to stay at her house the last few weeks of summer. I was quick to jump on the invitation, more than willing to leave Amelia's usually empty London apartment and still desperate to make up for my behavior last year.

When Amelia apparated me to the little seaside cottage that first day, Dom practically tackled me from excitement. Amelia left me a pocketful of money and told me to be good before leaving.

"You've gotten taller!" Dom exclaimed as she dragged me into her house. "And your hair is longer! Dammit, girl. You've gotten pretty."

I glared at my best friend. "And I wasn't before?"

Dom waved me off. "It was hard to see through all the moping. You've always been pretty, but now people can actually see it."

I couldn't help but grin at my awkward friend.

"Come on," she said, pulling me through the house. "You have to meet Victoire and Teddy."

We entered the kitchen to see her parents and another couple sitting at the kitchen table. Fleur jumped up when she saw me and beamed.

"Newt! 'Ow wonderful to see you," she cried, pulling me into a hug. "We are so excited for you to stay with us this summer!"

Mr. Weasley waved at me from the table, grinning at his exuberant wife. The other couple sitting at the table stood and moved towards me.

"This is my sister, Victoire," Dom introduced, "and her fiancé Teddy Lupin."

Victoire was a few inches taller than Dom and much more blonde. She had the same sort of airy, endearing beauty that both her sister and mother possessed. She smiled brightly at me and took my hand, pulling me close to plant kisses on each of my cheeks.

"It is wonderful to meet you, Newt. It seems you've made quite the impression on our family," she said.

"I'll say," Teddy interrupted. "Albus and James have been in a tiff all summer over you."

I sent the blue-haired man a questioning look. He was very handsome, with rugged features that clashed comically with his vibrant hair. He smiled widely at me, pulling me in for a one armed hug.

"I see why now," he added with a coy smirk.

Victoire slapped him on the arm and told him to stop flirting with her sister's friend. He grinned back at her and pulled her in for a quick kiss, but not before sending me a quick wink.

Dom rolled her eyes beside me, grabbing my hand again and pulling me behind her. We ran up a flight of stairs and entered a very pristine looking bedroom.

"This is my room," she explained. "You'll be staying in here with me."

It was much larger than my compact room back at Amelia's place, but still cozy in it's own way. I liked it. I sent Dom a grin and pulled my shrunken trunk from out of my pocket and sat it down against a wall, pulling out my wand and waving it to it's original size.

Dom gasped. "You're underage!" she cried.

"I've got connections," I said, winking at her.

Dom mock glared, huffing somewhat jealously.

I looked out her window at the shore before turning to her. "Fancy a trip to the beach?"

Dom smiled widely. "Oh lets!"

We quickly changed into our bathing suits and ran out of her room, bumping into her younger brother Louis who sputtered and blushed at the sight of me before running to his own room.

"He likes you," Dom explained, shaking her head. "Seems every male in our family does."

I rolled my eyes. "It's because I'm the only girl tolerant of you all."

Dom shrugged with a grin. "True. Probably why all the girls like you too."

"Oh Dom," I said, fluttering my eyes, "you should have told me earlier you fancied me!"

Dom shrieked and lunged for me. I dodged her and darted through her house and out the door, laughing as she chased me, shouting insults and threats all the way to the beach. I heard the laughs of her parents following us.

* * *

"We're going to the Potter's for dinner tonight," Dom told me one morning. "Harry's invited the whole family."

"Sounds like a riot," I replied, rolling over in my bed to watch Dom as she piddled around her room. Her parents had summoned a second bed for Dom's room so that we wouldn't have to share.

Dom sent me a deadpan look. "You have no idea."

I grinned at her and flopped onto my back, stretching like a cat and rolling around in my sheets.

"I swear you must be part animal," Dom commented.

I jumped to my feet on the bed and crouched into a fighting pose. "Haven't you heard? I'm Catwoman!"

"I've heard you're mad," Dom replied, shouting with glee when she found what she was looking for in her drawers. "Aha! Found it."

I jumped off of the bed and strolled over to her. "What did you find?"

I noticed a black jersey with a yellow wasp on the front in her hands. I looked up at Dom with a confused look.

"I didn't know you were a fan of the Wasps," I said.

She shrugged, tossing off her sleep shirt and throwing the jersey on. "I'm not. I just like to get a rise out of Aunt Ginny and Uncle Ron. They hate the Wasps."

I smiled widely at my friend. "You're incorrigible."

She shot me a wry grin. "I take that as a compliment."

"Good. Got another?"

Dom grinned wickedly.

* * *

"Not you too," Mr. Weasley groaned when I got to the Potter house with Dom later that night.

Dom had managed to discover a Wimbourne Wasps tank top in the far back corner of her underwear jar. It was a bit too small for my taste, but she had thrown a khaki cardigan at me when I complained.

"Shut up," she had told me. "You wanted to join me and this is the only way. Plus, your tits look fantastic. Al will piss himself. It'll be the funniest thing I've seen all summer. Except your face."

I sent Mr. Weasley a friendly grin. "I take it you're not a Wasps fan?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, clearly catching the mischief behind my smile. He was just about to speak when Fred came barreling into the foyer, crying my name.

"NEWTIE! MY NEWT!" he cried, launching himself onto me. I nearly fell over, but managed to catch the exuberant boy. I noticed he too was wearing a Wimbourne shirt. I couldn't contain my grin.

"Hello, Freddie," I greeted as he pulled away from me, holding me at arms distance. He looked me over quickly, eyes lingering purposely on my chest, before darting his eyes back up to me and sending me wry smirk. I glared back at him threateningly.

"You look nice, Newtie. Black and gold suits you," he said loudly, causing Mr. Weasley to groan and stomp away from the small foyer. Fred winked quickly at me before shrugging his arm over my shoulder and pulling me alongside him. I caught Dom cross her arms and send him a glare.

"Hope you don't mind if I steal our dear Newt, do you Dominique?" Fred teased.

Dom huffed and stomped away. I grinned at her antics and let Fred drag me away from the foyer and into the living room.

There were quite a few people strewn about the huge room, some sitting and others standing about chatting. Mr. Potter was speaking with Mr. Weasley and Fred's dad when we entered. He was the first to notice me and grinned in greeting.

"Hey there Newt," he called, waving me over. I tried to pull away from Fred, but he latched onto me with both arms and even a leg, wailing about me leaving him. I attempted to peel him off of me, much to the amusement of the adults in the room.

"Get off of me, you insane toad," I demanded, trying not to trip over my own feet as Fred clung to me.

"I've only just got you and now you're trying to leave me for a man old enough to be your father!" he cried dramatically.

I continued to struggle with Fred for several more moments before he abruptly let me go, causing me to trip over my feet and fall backwards. I was just about to hit the ground when two arms caught me under my shoulder, just inches from hitting the very nice tiled floors. I opened my eyes and looked into a pair of very amused auburn eyes. I felt a blush crawl across my face.

James lifted me up to my feet, still smirking. "Don't be embarrassed, Newt. I'm used to girls falling at my feet."

I glared heatedly at the boy, before turning my glare onto a guffawing Fred.

"You could only be so lucky, Potter," I replied, swiftly moving away from him and Fred. I moved towards Mr. Potter, who was trying very hard not to laugh. Ron and George Weasley weren't holding back though.

My blush deepened as I nodded my hellos to the three men.

"How have you been, Newt?" Mr. Potter asked me.

"Very well, Mr. Potter. And yourself?" I replied.

"Harry. And I can't complain. You've got your hands full with them," he commented, nodding towards the two boys across the room, who were still laughing at me.

I looked over my shoulder and caught James's eye. I glared at him, turning back to the adults. Ron and George were still chuckling. A very beautiful woman with short curly brown hair walked over and slapped Ron on the back of his head.

"Control yourself, Ronald. Honestly," she complained before turning to me with a smile. "You must be Newt." She held out her hand and I took it.

"Yes ma'am," I replied politely.

"Call me Hermione," she said. "I'm Rose and Hugo's mother. Rose speaks highly of you."

I blushed. "That's kind of her. She's a very nice girl."

Hermione and Ron beamed.

"Newt!" a voice called behind me. I turned around and noticed Dom moving quickly over to me, Lily tailing behind her with a smug grin. "I heard that Fred threw you to the floor and James assaulted you! Are you alright? Shall I kill them? I should have known better than to bring you into this madness! Please, please don't judge me because of them!"

My eyes widened at Dom's hysterics. I put my hands on her shoulders and started shaking her violently. Dom stopped speaking and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Has everything returned to normal in that bizarre head of yours then?" I asked. Dom glared at me. "Dom, I've known how barmy your family is since first year and I'm still your friend. Honestly, you're just as mad as the rest of them and I still like you for it."

The adults beside us started laughing again, causing Dom to glare at them. She then turned her glare onto the two boys making their way quickly from the room.

"I'm still going to kill you!" she shouted after the two of them, causing them to run from the room laughing. "Come on, Dom. Aunt Ginny was asking after you."

I let Dom drag me to the kitchen, where two red-headed women were fast at work preparing food.

"Aunt Ginny," Dom called, causing the younger red-headed woman to turn around. "This is my best friend, Newt."

Mrs. Potter turned her eyes onto me and smiled widely. I noticed offhandedly that James had her exact eyes, as well as many other features of hers. She wiped her hands off on a towel and moved over to me. She took my hand.

"I've heard so much about you," she greeted.

"I keep hearing that and it keeps worrying me," I commented. She laughed at me, shaking her head.

"It's nice to finally place a name and face."

I smiled at her. "I'm glad to meet you as well."

"Dinner should be ready any moment, girls. You might want to snag a chair at the table outside while there are still choices."

"Thanks Aunt Ginny," Dom said, pulling me from the room.

"And you girls should really reconsider your choice in fashion. Black and gold looks good on no one!" Mrs. Ginny called after us.

Dom laughed maniacally, causing me to snort in amusement. We ran into Al just as we were running out the door, nearly knocking him over. He steadied himself by grabbing onto my shoulders. When he noticed who I was, his face burned in embarrassment. His ears turned red a second later when his eyes darted across my outfit.

"You look nice, Newt," he choked out.

I sent Dom an exasperated look as she start laughing loudly beside us, before running off.

"Thanks, Al," I replied. "You got taller."

He nodded, still trying to catch his bearings from having been thrown off guard. "I guess."

I cleared my throat. "I'm going to catch back up with Dom. See you later."

I took off after my best friend before Al could say anything else. I nearly tackled her when I found her standing near a fire pit with James, Rose, and Fred. She saw me coming and darted behind James.

"I'm going to kill you Dom," I said through gritted teeth.

"Lovers quarrel?" she asked teasingly from behind James.

"And you didn't invite me?" Fred asked in a scandalized voice.

"I was not in a lovers quarrel," I said. "But I was left all on my own in one of the more awkward instances of my life."

I looked over at James and he raised an eyebrow at me in question.

"Oh, God. Did she push you into Al?" Rose asked in a strained voice.

I looked over at her, noticing for a moment how pretty she had become over the summer. She was a very good mixture of her parents.

I sent her a pained look. "Yes," I whined. "And it was so awkward!"

Fred and Dom laughed at my expense.

"Because you broke up?" James asked.

I sent him a vicious glare. "We never dated."

"Because they kissed," Rose explained.

James's face darkened slightly and Fred gasped dramatically.

I glared at Rose. "Only because he told me he wouldn't forgive me unless I gave him a kiss. He tricked me into it!"

Rose smiled teasingly at me. "He would have forgiven you even if you hadn't kissed him."

"I cannot believe," Fred started, pausing slightly, "that you would kiss my grimy, Slytherin cousin before you would kiss me."

"Fred, I would kiss a toad before I would kiss you."

"That hurts, Newt. Right here," Fred continued, placing his hand over his heart. "I'll only forgive you for a kiss."

I glared at the dark haired boy and huffed. I turned to Dom, who was no longer hiding behind James, but still standing behind him a bit. "This is all your fault Dom."

Dom held her hands up, a smirk plastered to her face. "It's definitely not my fault that your first kiss was with a Slytherin."

Both James and Fred's face fell into complete shock at her announcement. I even noticed Rose's eyes widen a bit. I blushed deeply. "Now, you're really dead," I growled out, lunging past James and chasing after my crazy best friend.

It took the threat of her forever having purple hair for her to apologize.

"Change it back, Newt!" she cried. "Purple doesn't go well with my complexion."

"I disagree," I replied, twirling my wand around in my fingers. "I think it fits you quite well."

Dom huffed. "I'm sorry, okay? I was only trying to get a rise out of James."

"What does James have to do with you humiliating me in front of our friends?" I demanded.

Dom sent me an apologetic look. "He fancies you. I figured if he thought Al was actual competition, he might do something about it."

I flushed deeply. "And what makes you think I want anything to do with James Potter?"

Dom smirked at me. "I don't know. Your red cheeks?"

My glare deepened. "I do not like pratty Potter."

Dom laughed at me. "Sure. Whatever you say, Newtie. Just please change my hair and I swear I won't ever tease you again so long as we both live."

I stared at her for a few moments before stomping away.

"Newt!" Dom shrieked after me.

I waved my wand behind me.

"I AM NOT A REDHEAD!"

* * *

"Ow OW!" I heard a voice call from up the beach. I lifted my head up and saw Fred, James, Noah, and Tate approaching us. I glared over Heather's bare back at Dom, who was cursing.

"Who invited your idiot cousins and their band of monkeys?" I demanded.

"Oh God," Jenny muttered on the other side of me. I looked over at her. "Tate is here."

I grinned wickedly. "On the other hand, how perfect!" I said, jumping to my feet and dragging a protesting Jenny up with me.

"What the hell are you twats doing here?" Dom demanded as she stomped over to the approaching boys.

"Enjoying the view, of course," Tate said, leering over at Jenny, who glared heatedly at the boy.

I looked her over quickly. She looked great in her little yellow bikini. I laughed loudly when she flipped Tate the bird and bent down to grab her cover up. I dove in front of her and snatched it up, dancing away before she could grab it.

"Newt!" she cried. "What are you doing?"

I sent her a coy grin. "What ever do you mean?"

Jenny narrowed her eyes at me, causing Heather to laugh. She stood up from her blanket and stretched, winking at Fred, who eyed her wickedly before turning to me.

"Oi! Newt!" he called.

I looked over at him.

"Pink is definitely your color," he continued with a wink.

I narrowed my eyes at him and was about to retort when Jenny lunged for the cover up in my hands. I dodged her quickly, squealing with glee. Jenny shouted in protest.

"Give it back!" she demanded.

"Don't!" Tate called. "Don't give it back!"

I grinned widely at Jenny. "You'll never catch me, darling. I'm a seeker," I said as I dodged her again and continued to dance away from her.

"Were a seeker," James corrected with a smirk.

I felt myself blush, but ignored it and sent him a coy look from under my lashes. He was the captain this year, so I knew for a fact I would get on the team, especially considering how much he begged me at the end of last year to re-tryout.

"It's a skill one doesn't easily forget," I replied flirtatiously, catching him and his friend's off guard. I wasn't a flirty girl.

Dom squealed with glee and ran towards me.

"FINALLY!" she cried, throwing herself onto me. "YOU'RE A WOMAN!"

I threw her off of me and dodged Jenny yet again. I brushed my hair, which had grown out long over the summer, over my shoulder. "I'm more woman than you," I said nonchalantly.

Dom's mouth fell open in mock indignation. "I take offence to that!" she shouted, pointing at me. "Just because your tits are bigger does not make you more woman!"

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open in shock. The boys started laughing loudly. I felt a blush creep across my face and chest.

I calmed myself down before responding. "I suppose you're right," I said, letting a smirk cover my features. "It's my better looking ass that makes me more woman."

Dom shrieked again, chasing after me. I took off running, tossing Jenny's cover up at Tate's face as I ran past him.

"You're welcome!" I cried as I tore down the beach and up the hill towards the cliffs.

"I've got to see this!" I heard James yell as Dom ran past him.

I didn't look back to see who all was following me, but I had a feeling it was nearly everyone. They knew just where I was going and they weren't going to let me jump alone.

"You better pray I don't catch you, Newt!" Dom laughed from somewhere behind me. I wondered briefly why we were always threatening to kill one another. I supposed it was just our dynamic.

I didn't slow down a bit as I crested the hill and turned towards the cliffs overlooking the sea, thanking my constant morning runs for my impressive endurance. The cliff edge was getting closer and I didn't slow down. I grinned wickedly, remembering the first time Dom had taken me cliff diving off of this very cliff. I had nearly peed my pants. But I didn't feel anything but wonder as I reached the edge and threw myself off of it. I flipped forward once before bringing my feet down to a point and breaking the surface of the water.

My arms waved upwards like wings as I fell beneath the surface and I let myself sink for several long moments. I reveled in the silence of the water and cold silk wrapped around my body. The salt stung my eyes when I opened them. All I could see was a blurry dark blue. A moment later, a loud, but distance splash, followed by another and another sounded around me. I grinned and pulled myself towards the surface.

I broke free and gasped for air, still smiling widely. I looked to my left just as another person surfaced, laughing loudly. I exchanged wide smiles with James, before looking over to Dom, Fred, and Tate, who had all jumped as well. I looked up to the cliff's edge as I treaded the water and saw Noah, Heather, and Jenny all staring down at us with smiles.

"Come on!" I called to them. "Jump!"

Noah was the first to leap off, followed by Heather, and, after several minutes of torment, Jenny. We all swam around, splashing one another and laughing. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.

James didn't stop staring at me all day.

* * *

"I cannot believe its already sixth year," Dom said to me one morning just after the term started. "I feel like we just met on the train yesterday."

"I guess technically we did just meet on the train yesterday," I pointed out.

Dom shoved me playfully. "What I mean is, time has gone by so quickly. What if it doesn't slow down? What if it keeps spiraling like this until suddenly we're a hundred years old and on our deathbed?"

"I'm pretty sure that's exactly how life works, Dom," I told her. "I doubt there are any hundred year olds on their deathbed thinking, 'damn, that took a long time.' That's kind of what makes life special, you know?"

Dom chuckled, linking her arm through mine. "I suppose you're right, Newt."

"I'm always right."

"Can you believe it's only a day into the term and Fred has already got himself a girlfriend?"

"Let's be serious here, Dom," I said. "Freddie's got himself a snog buddy. They were attached at the lips all night in the common room."

Dom shuddered. "I don't see how you put up with him, Newt."

I shrugged. "He's funny. And besides, you put up with him as well."

"I have no choice, though. We're related. Unfortunately," Dom replied.

I chuckled at her before waving Heather and Avery over to us.

"Hello Newt, Dom," Avery greeted with a grin. "How was your summer?"

"Brilliant!" Dom replied. "Newtie came and stayed with me for the last few weeks."

Avery smiled kindly at me. "So I heard. Heather tells me you all had an interesting day at the beach."

Heather, Dom, and I exchanged elated grins.

"It was fun," I replied. "How was Australia?"

Avery beamed. "Wonderful."

"Avery met a boy," Heather explained. Avery chatted away about the handsome native boy she met in Australia as we waited outside the classroom for History of Magic. We all oohed and ahhed at the right moments and giggled at the more scandalous parts of the story. I thought back briefly to the start of my fifth year and how withdrawn I had been from everyone. It was so much better to be surrounded by friends than by silence.

"I was surprised to see you at the Prefect's meeting yesterday, Styles," a voice taunted. "I would have thought that the Headmistress would at least revoke your Prefect status, if not expel you entirely, for assaulting a teacher."

I looked over and recognized Harper Lynn glaring at me as she clutched her books tightly to her chest. Her best friend, Jessica Blanche, stood next to her, looking at the ground with bright red cheeks.

"Harper," she said quietly.

"It was an accident, Harper," I replied nonchalantly. "I didn't purposefully assault her."

"Regardless, it's unfair for the school to bend its rules to accommodate a single student. It shows favoritism."

"You're just pissed that there's still someone here to prevent you from being the top of the class, Lynn," James announced as he came to a stop beside me and tossed his arm over my shoulders. "Newt is the resident genius and you want her crown."

Harper huffed at James and stormed through the classroom door just as it opened, Jessica right behind her. I shifted my eyes up to James in thanks, who smirked down at me. A deep humming sound came from his throat as he leaned in close to me. "I think I prefer you in pink, Styles," he whispered before sending me a wink and swaggering into the classroom.

I could feel a blush painting my cheeks and sent a laughing Dom a quick glare before marching into the classroom and taking a seat in the front, where I knew my friends wouldn't dare sit next to me. Surprisingly enough, Roxanne Weasley sat down next to me, shooting me a smile before pulling out her books.

"Hello Roxy," I greeted her with a grin.

"Newt," she greeted back. "Can you believe my idiot brother is skipping class today to snog his new fling?"

"Actually, yes. Hence the term 'idiot'," I replied. Roxanne chuckled at my insult just as Professor Binns floated into the classroom and started the lecture.

* * *

"If you don't try out for the team this year, I'll disown you," Fred declared as he plopped down in front of me for breakfast one morning. I looked up at him just as I was biting into my banana, causing him to groan loudly.

"Don't do that Newt," he demanded. "You're killing me."

I scowled darkly and threw the remainder of the banana at his face. "Stop being vile, Fred."

He grinned at me and caught the banana before proceeding to finish the rest of it in the most vulgar of ways. I shook my head as I watched his antics with a disbelieving face.

"Something you need to tell me, cousin?" James asked with a raised eyebrow as he plopped down next to me.

Fred spluttered over the banana, blushing as dark as he possibly could before throwing the rest of the banana down on the table. I grinned wickedly. "Awe, have trouble at the end there, Freddie?"

James burst out laughing beside me while Fred watched me with awed, wide eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with my sweet innocent Newtie?"

"Who decided 'innocent' and 'Newt' belonged in the same sentence?" Dom interrupted as she fell into the seat beside me.

"A breach of language rules, that is," I said, exchanging a grin with Dom.

"Newt's been making lewd jokes," Fred accused. "I don't know who she is anymore."

"You've been learning well, young one," Dom said in a deep voice, looking at me with a mock approving expression.

"You have taught me well, master," I replied, bowing my head.

"Word of advice, cousin," Fred said, looking at James. "Birds are crazy. Don't get involved with them."

"Speaking of getting involved with birds," I started. "What happened to your lovely girl? The one who was helping you breathe last night?" I plopped a piece of bacon in my mouth and tilted my head to the side, sending Fred a teasing look.

A dramatic look overcame his face. "What Annette and I had was pure and passionate, but tragically, we have decided to go our separate ways."

"Her name was Ashley, Fred," an exasperated Rose declared as she and her friend Marie sat down near the four of us. "Not Annette."

"Ah yes, Ashley. I remember now," Fred said thoughtfully. "What Ashley and I had was…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. You're a pig. Moving on. Why is there a half-eaten banana in the middle of the table?" Dom asked.

James and I couldn't hold back our laughter as Fred's face burned again.

* * *

"Try it again," Amelia said to me one night several weeks into term.

I looked down at the lifeless bird laid out on the table in front of me. It had both shocked and saddened me when Amelia pulled it from it's cage in her office and set it on the table before sending a killing curse its way. I had asked her if that was necessary. She had said yes.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, exactly," I responded.

"You've done this before, Newt, and with something far more precious."

"All life is precious," I murmured quietly. My grip tightened around my wand, but something told me that it wasn't necessary for this kind of magic. I stowed it way slowly, before gently picking up the small body.

It was very light. The body hadn't set into rigor mortis yet, so it conformed to the shape of my hands cupped together. It was a small bird, no larger than my hands. The feathers were soft, brown, and yellow. There was a small blue speck on its forehead. Its tiny claws were curled up into its body. It could have been sleeping.

For some reason, the tiny bird made me think of Chewy and the thought of my owl dying made my heart hurt. I couldn't stand seeing the little guy dead in my hands. I thought to myself that if I could bring him back to life, I'd keep him and give Chewy a friend.

I focused my thoughts on bringing him back to life. I closed my eyes tightly, thinking only of seeing the life return to the little bird in my hands. It took a few moments, but I finally felt the tingling under my skin; the intricate spider like sensations that crawled out from my heart and spread up my chest, across my shoulders, and down my arms until they met where my hands touched. There was a brief pulse between my hands and a small movement in them made me open my eyes.

The little bird was waking up. He moved as though groggy, twitching and falling over in his attempts to sit up. I smiled widely as he continued in his struggles. I looked up and made eye with Amelia, who was smiling just as brightly.

"I told you that you could do it," she said softly.

I looked back down at the small bird, which was finally standing up in my hands and was looking straight at me. He didn't seem frightened of me at all. I brought my hands up closer to my face to inspect the bird closer. He tweeted at me, his wings floating out by his side to catch his balance.

"It's a sparrow," Amelia explained.

I grinned happily.

* * *

"That thing is so annoying," Dom complained at breakfast a few days later. "Please tell me why you've decided to adopt yet another annoying bird?"

I looked up from my breakfast to see Han the sparrow fluttering happily around the breakfast table, swooping in occasionally and stealing a piece of toast from random students' plates. I chuckled and held out my hand. Han fluttered over to me and landed on my finger, tweeting happily.

"I like him," I stated, moving him to my shoulder, where I fed him another piece of toast. "He's adorable."

"I don't even understand why you've given him that silly name. I would have thought you'd name him Jack," she continued.

"Because he and Chewy are buddies," I explained nonchalantly, careful not to shrug lest I bother Han.

Dom tried to hide her grin, but I caught it and winked at her. The mail came a moment later and Chewy nearly dove head first into a bowl of porridge in front of me, a newspaper attached to his foot.

"Hey there Chewy," I greeted, detaching the paper at his claw. He hooted at me in greeting before swooping up and landing on my head.

"I cannot believe that you still let him do that," James commented as he sat down at the table across from me. I shrugged, disturbing Han, who tweeted unhappily at me.

"Honestly, I'm sort of a nesting post for birds right now anyway," I said. "I don't think it gets any lower than this."

James grinned at me, staring a little longer than necessary.

"There's a bird on your head. Did you know?" Rose asked with a smile as she passed by.

I acted shocked and quickly reached for my head, fluffing up Chewy's feathers. He nipped at my fingers playfully. "I had no idea!" I shrieked.

Rose shook her head at me. "Do you mind if I borrow your paper?" she asked.

I exaggeratedly nodded my head, causing Chewy to shrill unhappily. Rose tried to hide her smile as she snatched up the paper, shaking her head as she walked away.

"You really do look ridiculous," Dom pointed out.

"At least I fit in with the rest of you now," I said back.

"I take offence to that," James replied. "All the ladies say I'm rather fit."

"That's because they're all blind," I retorted with a smirk.

James returned my smirk and leaned across the table. "Are you blind then, Styles?"

"I'm very blind," I flirted back, winking at James, before returning to my breakfast.

"Honestly, Newt, the effect is ruined so long as there's a bird on your head," Dom cut in. "It's like you've learned nothing from me at all."

"Says the mad woman who told me I was learning well not three weeks ago," I pointed out.

"I was clearly not in my mind."

"You're never in your mind, Dommy."

"True."

"Hey Newt, did you know you've got an owl on your head?" Fred asked as he fell into a seat beside James.

"What?!" I shrieked dramatically, causing Dom and James to laugh loudly.

Rose moved back over to us a few minutes later, a frown clear on her face.

"What's wrong Rosie Posie?" James asked her.

She shook her head, handing me back the paper. "There's been a series of murders, specifically magical killings of muggles. It's a bit disturbing."

I exchanged uncertain glances with James. It seems James, Rose, and I were the only ones who were truly disturbed by the news. Honestly, I don't think Fred or Dom was actually listening to her. Rose caught my eye, shrugging her shoulders somewhat dejectedly before moving back down the table.

I looked back over at James. "That is a bit disturbing," I commented.

"I'm not sure if there is anything in the world more disturbing than a bird sitting on your head," Tate cut in as he and Noah sat down on opposite sides of the table.

"That's it," I declared, sitting up quickly and slamming my hands down on the table. "I am tired of all of you making fun of my owl. Chewy is fabulous and you're all jealous!"

All of my friends stared up at me with raised brows and amused looks.

I straightened up. "Chewy, Han," I started, pointing my finger at the boys across from me, "attack."

The birds flew from their perches and circled relentlessly around the boys' heads, tweeting and hooting, demanding snacks. I grinned gleefully at the groans of protest from my friends.

* * *

James's quidditch try-outs didn't end up being as crazy as McLaggen's, at least on the seekers end. I think it was mostly because he already knew he was going to be putting me on the team. My replacement the previous year had been a seventh year. Not that it would have mattered if he were in a younger year. James had everyone on the team re-tryout. He even replaced Leslie Cummings, who had been on the team the year before with a younger player, Hugo Weasley, who out shot her 3-1. Avery Wood even out shot Leslie, securing her place as our third chaser. Dom was still keeper, and Fred and Noah were still our beaters, leaving me to snatch up the position as seeker. I was thrilled to be back on the team. Everyone else was glad to have me back as well, especially after I caught the snitch three times in a row blind folded, just for their amusement.

"Today, we are going to be learning the Patronus Charm," Amelia announced, much to the excitement of my fellow classmates. Excited whispers broke out around the classroom, causing Amelia to smile endearingly at us all.

Even Dom perked up beside me, and she was never interested in anything remotely academic.

"Can anyone tell me what exactly a Patronus is?" Amelia asked. "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"It's a defensive spell that produces an energy wave that can take the shape of an animal," James said, surprising a lot of the class with his textbook accuracy.

Amelia smiled widely. "That is exactly right, Mr. Potter. 10 points to Gryffindor. Now, this is a very advanced spell. Many witches and wizards are incapable of even producing any form of the Patronus, let alone producing a corporeal one. So I don't want anyone to feel disappointed if they find they can't produce a Patronus today. This isn't typical N.E.W.T material, but the Headmistress as well as the Ministry has agreed to allow me to teach sixth and seventh year students the basics of the charm this year. For any of you interested in moving onto auror training after graduation, knowing how to produce a Patronus is a necessity for graduation."

I felt my interest perked at the thought of auror training. I hadn't thought much about what I wanted to do after graduation, but if there were anything even remotely interesting to me, it would have to be going into the auror training program. After all, Amelia was an auror, and she had been training me for years. Granted, she was training me because my magic was dangerous, but she had been training me nonetheless. Also, the auror department would possibly be the best well prepared for my circumstances.

"Now, conjuring a Patronus requires an incantation alongside an extremely happy memory. It can't just be any memory. It has to be one that fills you entirely with happiness. This is what makes producing a Patronus under times of stress so difficult. The concentration required is extensive. You can't be nervous. You can't be afraid. You must be confident in your abilities and your happy memories. That is the only way to conjure your Patronus. Does anyone in here know what uses there are for a Patronus? Yes, Ms. Weasley?"

I looked over at Molly, who was sitting at the front of the classroom. "There are only two uses, right? Um, one is to chase away dark creatures, like Dementors, and the other is for, I believe, communication."

"That is correct, Ms. Weasley. 10 points to Hufflepuff. Anything to add, Ms. Longbottom?"

"Can't they also chase off Lethifolds?" Alice asked quietly.

Amelia smiled. "Yes they can. 5 points to Hufflepuff. Does anyone know who invented the methods with which to communicate between Patronus'?"

I smiled widely at the question, causing Amelia to call on me. "Ms. Styles?"

"Albus Dumbledore," I replied.

"5 points to Gryffindor. Now, the incantation for this spell is 'Expecto Patronum.' Repeat it with me."

The class repeated the incantation with her, myself excluded. I was still always nervous about accidentally using magic by just uttering spells, even though Amelia and I had pretty much worked out how to control it by now.

"Alright now, I'm going to break you into partners to recite the incantation and perhaps attempt to conjure a Patronus. Ms. Molly Weasley with Mr. Tate Thorin, Mr. Noah Harding with Ms. Dominique Weasley, Mr. Fred Weasley with Ms. Newt Styles, Mr. James Potter with Ms. Alice Longbottom…" Amelia went on to name the remaining pairs, leaving us to move towards our partners.

I sent James a smile as I passed him to sit by Fred, who sent me an overly amused look. "I haven't a clue why Ms. Earnhardt would pair us together. She must be seeking disaster," Fred announced as I reached him.

I made a funny face at him before setting my things down at his table and pulling out my wand. "Alrighty then, Freddie. Would you like to go first?"

Fred stood up and shrugged. "Sure. Let me forewarn you, I'm kind of amazing."

I chuckled and watched as he held out his wand and said the incantation. A bright white light burst emitted from his wand, lighting up the room. I smiled broadly and clapped.

"Great job, Mr. Weasley! 5 points to Gryffindor," Amelia called from across the classroom. Fred beamed and let the light fade.

"That's awesome, Freddie!" I cried. "I didn't know you could produce a Patronus."

Fred shrugged, leaning against the desk behind him. "It's nothing. Uncle Harry attempts to teach everyone in the family at some point. I still haven't managed to get a shape yet though. Not like James, Rose, and Al. Bloody geniuses they are."

I grinned and looked across the room at James, who was talking to Alice, helping her with her spell work. Alice was blushing. I grinned at the sight and looked around the rest of the room. Every now and then, a light would shine from someone's wand, but it wasn't often that the spell would hold.

"Well, go on. You give it a try," Fred said.

I felt my nerves explode within my stomach. I always hated performing magic in front of people. Nerves did nothing for my control and I really didn't want anyone to pay closer attention to me than necessary. I was just about to get over my nerves and lift my wand with a cry of 'Expecto Patronum' caught my ear and a full blown lion took form and danced around the room. Everyone clapped and shouted congratulations to James, who was standing with a proud smirk on his face, holding out his wand as the lion stomped around the room.

Suddenly, the lion turned and looked at me, stopping just for a moment before jogging quickly over to me and dancing around me, just as Mr. Potter's stag had done when he had shone me his Patronus a year ago. The classroom watched in awe as I reached out to touch the light form, causing it to nudge its head towards my hand like a cat. The Patronus felt cool to the touch and my hand slipped through it, causing the light to wisp around my hand, before returning to its original shape when I removed my hand. The lion then bent down into a playful crouch, opening its mouth as though to roar, but no sound emitted from it.

I looked up and caught Amelia watching me with a curious expression before I turned and caught eyes with James, who was watching my exchange with his Patronus with a confused look. Everyone in the classroom was watching me with curiosity or confusion. I blushed and looked back to the lion, who jumped up on his hind legs to look me directly in the eyes, before falling back down and running around the room playfully. He disappeared a moment later as James dissipated his Patronus.

"Well, that was something," Amelia said in a bubbly voice. "Occasionally, a Patronus made be attracted to someone's essence, which is what we saw just occur. It seems as though Mr. Potter's Patronus liked Ms. Styles."

I blushed deeply as the class laughed at both mine and James's expense.

"Now, everyone continue on with your practices," Amelia continued.

I turned away from the rest of the classroom and caught eyes with Fred, whose brow was furrowed.

"What?" I asked.

"I've never heard of that," he said. I shot him a questioning look. "Well, I've never seen a Patronus act that way. They're an energy force, you know? They aren't supposed to have personalities. And I think Uncle Harry would have told us about that when he taught us about them."

I shrugged. "Maybe he doesn't know everything about Patronuses then."

"And Professor Earnhardt does?"

"She's a professor," I pointed out.

Fred shook his head. "It just doesn't sound right."

"Well, you just saw it happen with your own eyes. I don't see how it can get more 'right' than that."

Fred shot me a look. "Strange things always happen around you."

I clenched my jaw and refused to make eye contact with him, looking around the room at my peers, who were still attempting to conjure their Patronuses. I caught James still watching me with furrowed brows and turned away quickly.

"Well, you still haven't attempted the spell yet," Fred pointed out, crossing his arms. "Go on then."

I pulled out my wand and held it out in front of me, trying my best to control my nerves. I noticed Amelia watching me out of the corner of my eye. I knew Fred was staring at me and I had a feeling James was still watching me.

I calmed myself down and tried to think of my happiest memory. Sorting through the bad memories was difficult, having so many. But I finally settled on that day at the beach with all of my friends back in summer. I focused on the feelings from that day, letting them wash over me. I smiled at the memory, holding out my wand and saying, "Expecto Patronum."

Nothing happened. I was completely taken aback, staring at my wand in shock. I had never not been able to do a spell on the first try. I looked up and caught Amelia's eye. She was watching me with yet another curious expression. She nodded her head at me, telling me to try again. I did, and once again, nothing happened.

Fred chuckled next to me. "It's alright. Most people don't get it."

I was too shocked to even send Fred a glare for his jibe. This was this first spell that I had not been able to do on the first try.

Class ended a few minutes later and everyone started to shuffle out. I stayed behind, desperate to ask Amelia about what was going on. After the last students filed out, I walked up to her quickly. She shook her head as I approached.

"I have no idea why it didn't work, Newt," she said before I could ask.

"I don't understand. This has never happened before," I replied, slightly frantic. Was I losing my magic? Though it had caused me many problems and much strife over the years, my magic was a very large part of who I was. The thought that I could lose something so ingrained within me was devastating.

I looked down at my open palm and closed it along with my eyes. I focused all of my energy into my hand, recalling the magic I used to entertain my little sister with. I opened my eyes and slowly opened my hand, feeling relief wash over me at the sight of the tiny chocolate kiss resting on my palm.

"You aren't losing your magic, Newt," Amelia said soothingly. "This is really advanced magic that requires absolute certainty and happiness. You've had a very hard life. It's understandable that you would find this difficult."

"But I was certain of my memory," I explained to her. "I let it consume me."

"What memory did you choose?" Amelia asked.

"Of a moment over the summer with my friends. It was the happiest I've been in a long time."

Amelia sent me a motherly smile. "I don't think your memory is strong enough. You're going to need something a bit more powerful."

I furrowed my brow, thinking hard about what memory could possibly be happy enough to work. My mind flashed back to moments with Rance and Asha. I found myself overwhelmingly sad at the thought of my lost siblings. But I also felt completely overwhelmed with just how much I had loved them. The emotion stormed through me. I didn't even have to utter the incantation for the blindingly bright light to burst forth from my wand and dance across the room.

Amelia and I both watched in awe as the light danced before starting to take a form. It looked like a bird of some sort.

Amelia's eye brightened. "It's beautiful, Newt."

The bird flew over to me, fluttering around my head and swooping upwards before diving back downwards. He was dancing for me.

"What is it?" I asked. It was larger than an owl, but didn't quite look like a hawk or eagle.

"It looks like a Phoenix," Amelia said in awe.

I felt something fill me from within. I realized belatedly that it was elation. I smiled at my Patronus as it continued to dance around me.

* * *

I was hit by a bludger an hour into the first game of the season. It knocked me off my broom. Luckily, Hugo was right there to catch me and slow my fall. Unluckily, Albus managed to catch the snitch while I was falling. We lost the first match, much to James's dismay. I only suffered a few broken ribs, which were healed over night.

I told James when he came to visit me later that day in the Hospital Wing to warn his brother that I was out for revenge. James had laughed and told me to get in line.

* * *

A sixth year Ravenclaw, Hayden Davies, ended up asking me to Hogsmeade. I agreed. It was my first date ever. He was very handsome, with dirty blonde curls and dark brown eyes. He was also captain of the Ravenclaw quidditch team, and a prefect like me. He bought me lunch and took me to this lovely odds and ends store where he bought me a little muggle music box. He kissed me at the end of the date; just a little peck. It was very nice. We had a few patrols together after. I liked him.

* * *

"There's been another muggle-born family murdered," I said to Dom one morning at lunch just before the Christmas holidays.

She looked up at me with furrowed brows. These killings kept popping up in the news. People were starting to worry that there was another mad pure-blood crazy witch or wizard out there orchestrating these attacks. After the last dark wizard, people would never take these situations lightly. Everyone was on edge.

Fred suddenly plopped down next to me in a huff, slamming his head onto the table. I exchanged glances with Dom before turning back to the sullen dark-haired boy.

"What's wrong Fred?" I asked. He grumbled an unintelligible response. I smiled slightly. "I'm sorry. I don't speak Troll. English, however, I'm quite proficient in."

Fred lifted his head and gave me a desperate look. "I just had my career meeting with Professor McGonagall," he explained.

My mouth fell into an understanding 'o' shape before I sent Fred a sympathetic look. "I'm taking it didn't go so well?"

"She told me my grades wouldn't get me into any professional profession."

I chuckled. "Fred, do you even want to go into any professional profession?"

"No. But, it's not fun having it rubbed in your face how bloody unintelligent you are," he whined.

"You're very intelligent," I pointed out. "Just not when it comes to school work."

"I'm a failure!" Fred wailed dramatically, throwing himself back on the table.

"Oh shut it," Dom demanded from across the table. "Uncle George and Fred had piss grades when they were at Hogwarts and they still managed to open one of the most profitable businesses in the wizarding world. You've got their genes. Stop your whining."

Fred sat up and a contemplative look spread across his face. I turned to Dom in confusion. "Uncle Fred?"

"My dad's twin brother. He died in the war," Fred explained.

My eyes widened. "That's terrible."

Fred nodded. "Dad said he was torn up for years over it. He finally moved on. Guess it helps that he's got a portrait of his brother at home that he can talk to."

"What did you end up telling McGonagall you were interested in doing?" Dom asked me several moments later.

"Auror Training," I said.

Dom's eyes widened. "That's a dangerous field, especially nowadays."

I shrugged. "I think it's fascinating."

"You'd be brilliant at it, of course," Fred cut in.

I smiled at him. "Thank you, Freddie."

"James wants to do that as well," Dom pointed out. "He's wanted to be an auror since he was little."

I tensed slightly at the mention of James. Things between him and me had been tense since my date with Hayden. Apparently, they were rivals and James didn't like the fact that I had gone out with him. I had broken it off not a week after the date, but James still hadn't quite forgiven me for dating the enemy.

* * *

The Christmas holidays were very lonely for me. I ended up staying at the castle because Amelia was sent on a special mission. I would have gone home with Dom again, except Amelia requested that I stay at the castle. She wouldn't tell me why. So I spent Christmas Day with the house elves down in the kitchens. They took a very fast liking to me. They recognized my magic. They called me an 'ancient one.' They wouldn't explain what they meant, though. So I waited for Amelia to return. I ended up waiting a long time, well into the new term. They brought in a substitute professor for DADA.

* * *

The rain fell so hard that I could barely see through it. James had taught us all a spell to keep the water from our eyes, but it didn't do so much to help us see through the torrential downpour. It also didn't prevent the water from clinging to our robes, weighing them down and making movement clumsy. And the rain was freezing on top of it all. It was times like these when I wished we were allowed to have our wands on the field. I certainly could have used a warming spell.

I couldn't see how well my team was fairing beneath me. Only Amy Grimm's commentary throughout the game alerted me to the score. So far, we were beating Ravenclaw by two goals, making the score 70-50. James had told me not to catch the snitch unless we were up by 100 points. I had grumpily pointed out that he better not take his time earning those points. Hayden Davies was the seeker for Ravenclaw, and he was good. James was desperate to beat Davies, especially after our loss to Slytherin in the first game. I harbored no ill feelings towards Hayden, but I still wanted to beat Ravenclaw. It would mean winning the Cup. We had beat Hufflepuff 370-90, putting us right behind Slytherin in line for the Quidditch Cup. Ravenclaws slim victory over Slytherin had pretty much guaranteed our place for the Cup should we beat Ravenclaw in the game by at least 180 points. We needed to win.

The Scamander twins weren't making it easy on me either. They were the beaters for Ravenclaw and with their twin intuition, or whatever, they were damn good. They were also out to get me, sending bludgers in my direction constantly. So far, I had managed to dodge them all, which was rather impressive, especially considering I couldn't see them coming until they were nearly upon me. I had to relax and open my connection to magic in order to survive the game.

It wasn't until the score was at 120-70 that I finally noticed the flutter of the snitch somewhere near me. I closed my eyes and focused and realized that the snitch was somewhere beneath where I was floating on my broom. I quickly shot downwards, seeking it out. I didn't catch sight of it for several long seconds and, when I did, it darted towards the ground. I followed it obediently, reaching out for it.

"NEWT STYLES HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!" I heard announced just as my hands closed on the small golden ball. It wasn't a second later that I realized there was someone directly between me and my path towards the ground. It was too late to pull up, and I collided with the person, knocking him or her off of their broom and causing them to plummet towards the ground. Gasps washed through the crowd.

"NEWT STYLES COLLIDES WITH HER CAPTAIN. POTTER HAS FALLEN OFF HIS BROOM!"

I had to shake myself back into awareness before darting after James, the collision having knocked me silly. It seemed like a lifetime passed before I finally managed to catch him by the back of his robes. I yanked up on my broom, causing it to slow down rapidly, though it took more time with the added weight of James, who I was desperately holding onto. I wasn't strong enough to hold him up, however, and the sudden presence of his weight ripped at my shoulder, causing me to cry out in pain. But I refused to let go, for fear of causing James to fall to his death.

I pulled my broom into a steady position and reached down with my other arm to help lift him onto the broom. I could barely see him through the rain, my rain repellant charm having worn off. My hand, still clutching the snitch, connected with his. I felt him pause for a moment, before he readjusted his grip and grabbed onto my forearm, heaving himself up onto my broom.

I was gasping for breath, the pain from my shoulder nearly blinding me. The rain was still pouring down and I desperately wished the freezing temperature of it would numb my shoulder.

I realized a moment later that James was grinning at me like an idiot as he sat backwards on my broom, facing me. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead, catching in his eyes and sticking out rather oddly around his ears. There was a large gash across his cheek that was trickling a trail of blood down and across his face. He didn't seem to mind though. His robes, just like mine, were soaked through, appearing darker in color and clinging to his body. Water mixed with a little bit of blood dripped off his nose and lips, causing me to focus my attention on them.

"WE WON!" he shouted happily, pulling me into a hug.

I gasped at the pain, trying to pull away. He realized a moment later that I was in pain and pulled away. He shuffled around on my broom until he was facing the right direction and took control of it, guiding us towards the ground. We landed a moment later and James had to steady me as we climbed off of the broom.

"I've got you," he said. I could still hear the grin in his voice. "We bloody won! Fantastic. I knew you could do it, Newt. Never doubted you for a minute."

Our teammates collided with us a moment later, causing my shoulder to scream in pain yet again. I groaned and tried to get away from them. James grabbed me around the waist and forced me to stay next to him. His smile was a mile long. Madame Hawkins approached us a few moments later, clutching the silver Quidditch Cup in her hands. She handed it to James and roars filled the stadium as Gryffindor celebrated their victory.

"PARTY IN THE COMMON ROOM!" Fred shouted from somewhere near me.

I couldn't help but smile at the jubilation of my team. I gritted my teeth through the pain. It had started radiating into my chest.

James nudged me forward and guided us into the locker rooms, where everyone proceeded to sing the Hogwarts anthem and roar to our victory.

"Newtie!" Fred called over the ruckus. His hair was just as wet and silly looking as James's was, and I assumed mine as well. "Nice catch!" he continued, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes, catching his hidden meaning. James chuckled next to me and tightened his arm around my waist, causing my injured shoulder to bump into his chest. I hung my head in pain and squeezed my eyes tight.

"I think we all owe a round of applause to our fantastic seeker, who not only brought us the Cup, but saved your amazing captain's life!" James cried from beside me. All of our teammates cheered loudly. "Unfortunately, she's been injured. So, I'm going to take her to the Hospital Wing while you all get ready for the party!" There was another round of cheering as everyone moved to change and make their way to the common room.

James quickly guided me out of the locker room and back through the rain. We made it to the castle quickly and made our way through the corridors, leaving a trail of water behind us.

"I was pissed at first," James admitted. "I thought one of Ravenclaw's players had purposely knocked me off. Thought I was a goner. Then you caught me and I felt the snitch when you tried to pull me up. Thought you were Davies at first. I thought you wouldn't be strong enough to catch me. I was devastated. Then I saw it was you and…" James stopped talking for a moment, his joy overcoming him. I couldn't help but smile at his elation. "Talk about a hurricane," he continued, referring to his emotions.

We reached the Hospital Wing a moment later and had to endure Madame Yancy's rants about the violence of quidditch. James sat with me the whole time, his smile never leaving his face. I tried my hardest not to stare at him, but I couldn't help thinking about just how beautiful he was. I'd always been fascinated by his eyes and hair, and how they were the exact same color. His lips were full and stretched across his teeth as he smiled. I remembered how water dripped off of them.

"You've dislocated your shoulder and collarbone, torn the muscle to shreds, and fractured your chest bone," Madame Yancy griped as she worked me over. "Honestly, what did you do?"

"She saved my life," James said. "Caught me when I was falling." He sent me a wink. I blushed.

Madame Yancy calmed down after that and muttered several spells to fix me up. She fixed James's injuries several long minutes after my own. James hadn't even realized he was hurt.

"The blood didn't give it away," I snarked.

His smile didn't falter. "I can only feel joy right now," he responded, before a wickedly look overcame his features. "And lust," he added, sending me another wink.

I rolled my eyes and tried to will away my blush.

He walked me back to the common room, both of us still in our robes, which were now dry thanks to Madame Yancy. James was practically bouncing off the walls. He kept recounting moments in the game to me.

"I'll bet Al is pissed," James said. "We had a bet on who would win the Cup this year."

"Serves him right. Letting me fall to get the snitch. Bloody prick."

James turned to me with a wild grin. I wasn't sure what he was doing until he was suddenly in my face, his hands on either side of my head, and his lips on mine. I froze at first, caught entirely off guard. He pulled away a second later, his eyes still closed and mouth slightly open, his breath mixing with mine. He'd never been more beautiful to me than in that moment. So, I closed my eyes and stood on my toes, pressing my mouth back to his. A happy sound tore through his throat and I was suddenly pressed up against the wall behind us and James was kissing me with everything he had.

My heart fluttered wildly in my chest as his lips moved against mine. He moved closer until there was no space between us, trapping me between the wall and his body, leaving me no space to move. Not that I wanted to. I was startled when his tongue ran across my bottom lip, not having ever experienced something like that. I let my lips fall open willingly, letting James take the lead. He did so happily.

One of my hands caught in his hair and the other wrapped around his back as I tried to pull him even closer, much to his delight. He kissed me with more fervor, refusing to even breathe. It wasn't until we heard footsteps approaching us in the empty, dark hallway that we separated. James was still pressed against me, his hands still trapped in my hair, as he pulled away and looked down the hallway. He turned back to me with a content grin, resting his forehead on my own.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he whispered, before disentangling us and pulling me along quickly behind him as he made his way to the Gryffindor common room.

The party was in full swing by the time we arrived hand in hand. I pulled away from James when we walked in the room, sending him a teasing wink before running off to find Dom. Shockingly enough, she was wrapped around Noah Harding when I found her, snogging the daylights out of him.

"It's a bit unsettling," Fred said as he ambled up next to me. "They've been going at it for quite a while now."

I looked over at my best friend and sent him an amused look. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye with a slight smirk. "Of course, you look like you've been worked over a good one," he pointed out. I flushed dark. "Has our dear ole captain been treating you right, Newtie?"

I mock glared at Fred, causing him to laugh loudly and pull me into a hug, ruffling my hair. "It's about time. He's been pining after you since first year."

I felt my heart beat faster at the statement. "Seriously?"

"Oh yeah."

"I thought James hated me, to be honest."

"Well, he thought you were with his baby brother for a little bit and then you were with his arch nemesis, so I'd say he thought he hated you too. Mostly because he liked you and you didn't give him any attention."

I shook my head. "Boys are so fickle."

"Only when it comes to girls who drive them silly," James interrupted as he walked up to Fred and me. He smiled adoringly down at me, causing me to blush.

Fred sent me a smirk before clapping his best friend on the back and leaving us alone. James grabbed my hand and dragged me over to a corner of the common room. He towered over me, smiling so wide I was convinced his face might split in half.

I smiled back at him, letting his joy fill my own.

"Hi," he whispered down to me.

"Hi," I replied.

"Come here often?" he asked, tilting his head teasingly and leaning his side against the wall next to us.

I gave him a contemplative look. "No. But I think I may start."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Why's that?"

"The view is rather pleasant."

James hummed in response, still staring down at me. His auburn eyes were bright and happy. My stomach ached at how beautiful he was. I bit my lip to try and contain my smile. James's eyes zoned in on my mouth just before he leaned in and kissed me. I couldn't hold back my smile, even with his own pressed against my lips.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I was happier than I had been in a very long time. The smile remained on my face as I took care to get ready for the day and as I walked down to breakfast. I tried not to look eager to see James that day, but I could tell that Fred noticed. He was trying to hide his smirk as he sat across from me, but I could easily see it.

"Go ahead," I told him with a sigh. He didn't try to hide it after that.

I didn't see James at breakfast. Nor did I see him in any of our classes that day. In fact, I didn't see Albus or Lily around at all either. At lunch, Dom asked me if I had seen James. I told her no. Rose asked me if I had heard from Al when she passed me in the hall right before the end of classes. I shook my head. I wasn't the only one who noticed their absence, and I clearly wasn't the only one worried.

It was later that afternoon when I found out why they were missing. I was told by Professor Gordon that I was needed in the Headmistresses office. My heart fell immediately to my stomach. Nothing ever good came out of me going to her office.

When I got there, Rose and Hugo's father was waiting for me with an apprehensive look.

"Mr. Weasley," I greeted the nervous looking man. "What's going on?"

"Call me Ron, and I think it's best we have this conversation somewhere else," he said kindly.

My face fell and my heart beat faster. I clenched my jaw, attempting to reel in my nerves. I was extremely nervous that this had something to do with the Potter's. All of them were missing and, instead of Mr. Potter being there to greet me when I was call to this office, it was his best friend and right hand man. "That bad?"

Ron didn't reply, but gestured for me to enter the fireplace. He joined me a moment later and we were covered in green flames. A series of fireplaces and homes flashed across my vision as we traveled before settling on a very familiar hallway. We were at the Ministry of Magic.

Ron put a comforting hand on my shoulder and guided me down a path I knew all too well. What he had to tell me was going to be bad. Why else would he be taking me to the Indestructible Room? My heart beat hard in my chest, matching each step I took perfectly.

We reached the giant door a few minutes later and Ron opened it with a wave of his hand. I entered without asking any questions, not bothering to look around the room that I knew so well. I stared at my shoes for a while. Dom had picked them out for me over the summer. She called them Oxfords and said they looked like something I should wear.

"Harry told me to bring you here," Ron admitted a few minutes later. I turned and looked at him. He looked like he wanted to be here just as much as me. He was looking around the look, avoiding having to look at me.

"Is he alright?" I asked a moment later.

Ron looked over at me and nodded. "He'll be fine."

I nodded, releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding. We were quiet for several long more minutes before Ron released a heavy sigh.

"I don't know how to do this," he admitted. "Harry has always been better at this."

I sent the man a sympathetic look. "Sometimes it's just best to say it."

He sent me a heavy look. His eyes were very sad. "There was an accident on the mission," he started. "The, uh, team was ambushed."

I felt myself holding my breath. I could practically feel myself moving out of my body. I had a terrible feeling I knew exactly what Ron was about to tell me. I was separating from my emotions. It was the only way I would be able to control myself from what I was about to hear.

"A lot of people were hurt," Ron said slowly. "A lot of people didn't make it."

I closed my eyes and breathed out.

"Amelia didn't make it," he finally said, choking on the words.

The world was suddenly so quiet and dark. My eyes were still closed. I wasn't breathing. Ron wasn't breathing. The room seemed to revert to an empty stillness even while occupied.

There was a ripple under my skin. I quelled it immediately. I wouldn't react. I couldn't. She taught me not to. I opened my eyes and saw Ron watching me cautiously, sadly. The silence was overwhelming. I wished just for a moment that I could hear the cracking of my heart as it broke within my chest. I wished I could feel it breaking. I wished the agony were physical. It would be easier then. It would heal faster. I could survive it then.

_Focus. Transfer the negative energy into something positive, something physical._

I closed my eyes again and breathed in deep, pulling in more than breath. I could practically taste the magic in the room surrounding me. I could feel the magic of the room itself. I could sense Ron's magic as it pulsed through his veins. I could even sense my own magic as it trembled, barely controlled, on the verge of implosion, in the air around us. I focused every ounce of my concentration and energy onto the presence of the magic.

I opened my eyes and heard the very audible sharp intake of breath from across the room. Vibrant waves of moving colors drifted through the air, changing swiftly as they danced and flowed like water through the room. The walls were vibrating colors, a display of ombre blues and purples. There were strong red, green, and pinks waves flashing off of myself and Ron, manifesting into wispy splashes of light blues, magentas, and flashing yellows and oranges. The room was filled with a magical aurora.

"What is this?" Ron asked softly as he stared around the room in utter awe.

"It's magic," I explained quietly as I too looked around the room. "Isn't it terribly beautiful?"

I felt rather than saw Ron look at me. "Are you doing this?" he asked.

"I've always been able to feel it in the air, surrounding individuals, inhabiting objects," I said. "A flutter in the air, a tingle under my skin, a whisper like breath in my ear. This is our life force. This is what makes our world possible. And it's so great and terrible."

Ron was silent, taking in my words and the colors floating around us.

"She told me that I would only survive if I learned to turn the negative into a positive force," I continued, staring at the colors, memorizing them, relying on them to keep me standing in that moment. "This is my mourning."

Ron didn't speak. Not while we stood in that room watching the colors for close to half an hour. Not when the colors faded and we finally left. Not when he led me through the Ministry and back to the Floo Network. Not even when he dropped me back off at Hogwarts, giving me one last parting sympathetic gaze before disappearing in green flames.

I stared at the fireplace for a few moments, not wanting to move back into reality. I wanted to flee. I wanted to hide.

"Ms. Styles?" Professor McGonagall asked quietly.

I shook myself out of my reverie and turned to the Headmistress. I noticed how completely exhausted she looked. It made her seem older, weaker. How long had she been giving her everything to this school?

"Yes, Professor?"

"Are you alright, child?" she asked.

"Are you, Professor?"

She looked taken aback. It took her a few moments to respond. "I am, Ms. Styles."

I nodded, looking down to my shoes. Oxfords. "I'll be fine, Professor." I looked back up at her. Her eyes seemed ancient. How much had she endured? "I will."

She nodded. "Very well. Dinner starts soon, if you would like to join your classmates."

"I think I'll just go to my dorm. I'm rather tired."

She nodded once and I left the office, but not the memories that constantly haunted me because of it.

* * *

Hogwarts held a ceremony for the death of Professor Amelia Earnhardt. Everyone was shocked and saddened by the loss. For many of the students, it was the first time they had lost someone near them. The Potters and Weasleys attended the ceremony. Harry even spoke for her. They were colleagues. He was with on the mission with her when she died.

I disappeared immediately after the ceremony, losing myself on the grounds of Hogwarts. I didn't want to speak with anyone. No one but my close friends had known that Amelia was my legal guardian. Now, everyone knew and they were all watching me with sad, curious looks. I couldn't stand it.

I returned to the castle well after dark. When I finally made my way to the Gryffindor common room, there was a very familiar figure passed out on the couch in front of the fire. It had two be a little after midnight. I walked over to the couch and shook James's shoulder.

"James," I whispered. "Wake up."

His eyes slowly peeked open, blinking rapidly a few times before recognizing me. He shot up quickly, worry overtaking his features.

"I waited for you," he said, his voice still sleepy. "Where were you?"

I shrugged, collapsing on the couch next to him. I stared at the fire. "Wandering."

"That's not safe," he said quietly.

I didn't bother pointing out that he and his friends were constantly sneaking out at night to wander around the grounds, getting into who knows what types of mischief.

We were quiet for several long minutes.

"Are you alright?" James finally asked.

"I will be."

He was quiet again.

"I told you," I said calmly a few minutes later.

I noticed him look at me out of the corner of my eye. I could practically feel him tense up beside me.

"I told you that the people I love always get hurt," I continued.

"Newt," he started, panic evident in his voice.

"The people I love die. I can't bear to watch it happen again I won't let it happen again."

"Newt, please…"

"That's why I can't do this, James. There is a war coming and I fully intend on being part of it. Whoever has done this to my family, to all those other families; they're going to pay. I can't afford any distractions."

"I can help. I'm not a distraction," he pleaded.

I turned and looked at him. There was a helpless look on his face. He knew his pleas were hopeless, and yet he was still pleading with me.

"I'm sorry, James," I whispered.

A pained sound tore through his throat and he turned away from me, closing his eyes and dropping his face into his hands. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder, squeezing before letting go and standing up.

"You deserve to be happy," I said. "And I can't give that to you."

I left him sitting there a few moments later; a broken statue of a once happy boy.

* * *

Our N.E.W.T exams happened two weeks after Amelia's death. I passed with the highest marks they had ever recorded.

I had barely spoken to any of my friends in those final weeks. I didn't hide from them, though, and they didn't force me to talk. Dom stayed by my side, even through my silence. We spent most of our time studying. Sometimes she would chat about a few things and I would respond. But the distance between us was obvious.

The distance between Fred and I was even more obvious. He stopped talking to me once he realized that I had essentially told James it was never going to work out between us. James hadn't so much as looked at me since then. Fred had though, and his looks were always full of disappointment. It didn't seem as though James was suffering all that much anyway. He and Alice Longbottom started dating sometime between our conversation and the end of the N.E.W.T exams.

I turned seventeen in June and was allowed to live on my own for the summer. Amelia had left me everything.

I accepted an internship over the summer with curse breakers in the Americas and spent the summer before my seventh year traversing through the jungles of Brazil. I tried to lose myself in the rainforest; desperate to leave behind everything that haunted me from across the sea. I wasn't successful in forgetting.


End file.
